Just a Mischief Minor
by iColor With Crayons
Summary: After the mess that Loki made in New York City, Thor decides the most suitable punishment for his trouble-making brother would be graduate school at Princeton University. While immersing himself in academia, he meets Tabby Baker, a self-proclaimed miscreant. Can the world handle the two peas in a pod?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there! This is my very first Avenger's fanfiction and I'm incredibly excited about it! I'm still working on trying to get Loki's character just right...he's a tricky one! I would appreciate any reviews that you have to offer - feedback is the most helpful thing for me! I hope you enjoy the story as much as I know I'll enjoy writing it!**

**Just a Mischief Minor**

**Chapter One**

Loki looked around, his upper lip curling as he observed the mortals walking around him.

After his little episode in New York, Thor had banished Loki to the worst place he could think of: graduate school. Jane Foster had told him stories about her experiences in graduate school, which had apparently caused him to believe Loki would suffer in such an environment.

Only Thor would consider higher education a punishment.

The environment of the school wasn't entirely unpleasant, Loki had to admit, but the people around him were unbearable. Each of them walked around with a pretentious air, completely unaware that they were in the presence of a god.

Honestly, didn't the leaders of the Earth inform the inhabitants of attacks and battles? Princeton was in New Jersey; a place Loki understood to be very close to New York City. Everyone should have recognized him immediately.

Rolling his eyes and releasing a heavy sigh, Loki strode to his first class of the day: ancient Roman history.

What an educator residing on Earth had to teach him on the subject, he couldn't imagine.

"Hi. I like your clothes. They're so non-conformist." A girl whispered to him as he sat in one of the cushioned chairs filling the lecture hall.

Loki's eyes narrowed as he looked at the smiling girl.

She was both unimpressive and unimportant as far as he could tell.

Wordlessly, he returned his gaze to the front of the room, where the professor was standing at the podium.

It seemed that the professor asserted all of the power in this classroom environment. He was standing while everyone else was seated. This was a clear expression of superiority.

Loki's jaw clenched and unclenched as he fought the urge to take the podium from the professor. He couldn't stand watching someone else cling to a power that wasn't rightfully theirs. It was like Thor's almost-coronation all over again.

He knew more than this foolish professor. That was for certain. He was also more powerful; both physically and mentally. Yet, if he even tried to take something that was rightfully his, those ridiculous Avengers that Thor cavorted with would be on his trail, ready to release the Hulk upon him once more.

He sunk down in his seat, glowering at the professor, who was stuttering through some incorrect account of history, using very poor diction for someone who was supposed to be of academic standing.

Finally, it was just too much for Loki to bear.

Standing up, he stared down the professor, who stared back in surprise.

"Excuse me, but I believe you are incorrect about every statement you have said throughout the entire hour. Have you any proof of these assumptions, or are you simply spreading ignorance to a younger population in order to hinder the future of Earth?"

The entire lecture hall broke out into anxious whispers as the professor gaped at Loki in surprise.

"Who do you think you are?" The professor finally questioned, seemingly insulted by Loki's comment.

Loki smirked, approaching the professor at his podium, glancing back at the rest of the lecture hall as he did so.

Yes, this was where he belonged. He was supposed to be at the front of the classroom, commanding the lesser minds, forming the ideas that would circulate through their weak brains for the rest of their miserable lives.

"I am Loki."

"Well, Low-Key, why do you think that I'm wrong? Did your undergraduate professors try to tell you different?" The professor questioned with a patronizing grin.

Loki sneered back at the professor.

"No, I have experienced some of these stories firsthand. For the sake of your comprehension skills, I will simplify my rationale for you. I have written down all of the dates you relayed to the lecture hall. Assuming that these dates are correct, which, of course, they are not, there would have been two living rulers of Rome at once. I understand the men might have lived at the same time, but there certainly would not have been a battle where they entered the field together. By the time Ciaos entered the military, Aelianus was too old and frail to even mount a horse." Loki glanced at the baffled professor before continuing, "Even putting this aside, the first time Ciaos encountered the Greek on the battle field, he was wearing a suit of armor with an inscription that would have roughly translated to 'long live the king'. It is a well-known fact that Ciaos was against Aelianus and would undoubtedly promote his own health over the former king's."

Loki grinned smugly at both the professor and the astonished lecture hall, waiting for them to relinquish all of the power in the room to him.

"I'm going to have to ask you to leave." The professor growled ungraciously.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Leave this classroom."

Loki's eyebrows knit together in a mix of confusion and anger.

"You dare speak to the prince of Asgard with such hostility? I will choose when I enter and exit a room." He challenged.

The professor folded his arms across his chest.

"You have ten seconds before I call security."

Loki glowered at the man, weighing his options.

If security was called, S.H.I.E.L.D. would undoubtedly be informed that he was not behaving the way the average Earth dweller was. This would ruin any chances he might have had to return to Asgard in the near future, leaving him stranded in a world full of dim-witted beings he was not allowed to rule. If he obeyed the professor, he would be relinquishing the power he had just seized, disgracing him in front of the large lecture hall of students.

"I have decided that your class is not suited for my very particular standards. Academic credibility is something I value." Loki snarled, giving the professor a dark look before departing from the lecture hall, refusing to look over his shoulder as the students once again to whisper and shout behind him.

He exhaled heavily as he walked out of the academic building, looking around for any sign of Jane Foster.

She was a professor at the university and hopefully a more credible one at that. Thor had selected Princeton University in particular because of Jane's involvement in the school. His rationale was that his weak romantic interest would be able to keep the God of Mischief under control in his absence.

_Right_.

"Hey, you! Wait up!" He heard a woman's voice holler from behind him.

He ignored the voice, continuing to walk in the direction of Jane's office.

She was likely speaking to another student on the campus. If not, she would have to learn to address him properly before he would bother carrying out a conversation with her.

He dodged a hand seeking his shoulder, his eyes narrowing.

He didn't like people trying to sneak up on him.

Whirling around, he glowered at the young woman who had taken such extreme liberties.

"How dare you – "

His words were cut off as he examined the girl in front of him.

She was shorter than him, but taller than Jane Foster. She had dark brown hair with just a hint of red; a most unusual color, even for humans on Earth. Her eyes were Loki's favorite shade of green, matching his suit of armor perfectly. She carried herself extremely well for a woman residing on Earth; her head was held high and her shoulders were set back, unlike most of the people, who simply slumped their shoulders and stared down at the ground, walking with little to no dignity.

She was certainly pleasing to look at.

Her manners, on the other hand, were far from pleasing.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you were one of those people who doesn't like to be touched. I just wanted to tell you, it was so cool how you stood up to Dr. Hamill back there. He's a total ass hat. I took him last semester and got a B because he didn't like the margins on my final paper. I was just waiting for an excuse to drop him, then you showed up and just fucking _ruined _him. It was great."

Loki stared at her curiously.

She wasn't exhibiting any signs of fear, which would have been the appropriate response to facing an enemy of the human race. Instead, she was approaching him as if he were her companion, her _equal. _How unusual.

"Don't tell me you're the shy type, you just called out one of the university's top professors in the middle of a lecture! I'm Tabby and you're Loki, right? Isn't that the name of the Nordic god of mischief? That's so awesome. I wish my parents named me after some trouble-making goddess. I'm sort of a history nerd, though I'm guessing you are, too."

"I am not named after the god of mischief, I _am _the god you speak of. I am Loki of Asgard, adopted son of Odin. If you intend to address me in the future, it would serve you well to remember that."

Tabby rolled her eyes, clearly not regarding Loki's warning.

"So, you think you're the god of mischief, now do you? That's a pretty hefty title. Are you sure you live up to it?"

"How dare you question me, you insolent girl," Loki snarled.

Tabby just laughed, to Loki's displeasure.

"Now you're speaking like a true god. Well, Mr. Mischief, if you're not too busy, I know some people who are looking to get into some real trouble tonight, if you're interested in joining us."

Loki's eyebrows shot up at the offer.

"Trouble of what nature?" He questioned.

Tabby shrugged.

"Breaking stuff, pissing off the police, smoking something or the other, maybe going to some parties, who knows? So, are you in? I would stay and talk about it longer, but I'm already ten minutes late for a date."

"Perhaps."

"Alright, cool. Here, let me give you my number." Tabby said, reaching out to take Loki's hand, holding an uncapped marker in her other hand.

Loki snatched his hand away before she even made contact with him.

"You are much too forward."

She laughed.

"That's not a very mischievous attitude. Just let me write my number down for you. You know, unless you're scared to get into a little bit of trouble."

Loki glowered at the girl as he stuck his hand out towards her.

It would be so simple for him to hurt her. He could have her kneeling at his feet, begging for mercy, with just a few swift movements. He had both the mental and physical capabilities. It was certainly a pleasing mental image; having this unruly, attractive woman at his disposal.

The idea of the Avengers confronting him about it, on the other hand, was not such a pleasing one.

Tabby quickly scribbled a number on Loki's palm, oblivious to the mental argument he was having with himself.

"I'll catch you later, Loki."

His eyes narrowed as he watched her leave.

She still did not address him the way a prince should be addressed.

Letting out a heavy sigh, he turned on his heel, returning his focus to his original mission: speaking to Jane.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Jane looked up and gasped, noticing Loki standing in the corner of her office, staring at her intently.

"I thought Thor talked to you about sneaking up on people."

Loki sneered, sitting down in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

"My brother has spoken to me about many things. I choose to ignore the majority of those things."

"That's worked out well for you, hasn't it?"

Loki's eyes scanned Jane's face, enjoying the underlying fear in her eyes.

"I do not come to quarrel with you. I simply wish to ask you about the details of my banishment. I assume my brother has confided in you."

Jane nodded, watching Loki carefully.

She did not trust him one bit.

Clever girl.

"Above all, I would like to request a teaching position, instead of a student position. All of the educators in this facility possess knowledge that is inferior to my own. It is insulting to ask me to sit through their lectures as a lowly student."

Jane folded her arms across her chest.

"The whole point of you coming here was to teach you that you're not better than anyone else. Nothing is more humbling than being a graduate student. Do you know why?"

Loki's bright eyes flicked up to meet hers while his mouth remained tightly shut.

"Because you're going to think all of your professors are idiots, but you still have to play by their rules," Jane smiled slightly, "and Thor already told you, you're going to have to make straight A's for an entire year before you can return to Asgard. That means you're going to have to learn how to play by somebody else's rules for a while."

Loki frowned, calculating just how much time he would have to escape if he were to slaughter Jane Foster.

It did not matter; S.H.I.E.L.D. had Tony Stark and Bruce Banner at their disposal. The two men possessed intellectual capacities that rivaled even the greatest scholars on Asgard. They would be able to find him and the rest of the dysfunctional team would rush to punish him for his actions.

Besides that, if he slaughtered Thor's romantic interest, Loki would likely not be invited to ascend to the throne of Asgard.

"Then I must withdraw from Dr. Hamill's class."

Jane's eyebrows shot up.

"What did you do?"

Loki smirked at Jane's facial expression as her hand twitched towards her telephone.

"There is no need to call S.H.I.E.L.D., Jane. I simply fear I may have made a poor first impression on someone who I am supposed to subject myself to."

Jane stared at him questioningly before hearing an angry voice outside of her door.

"Right in front of the _whole damn lecture hall! _The little shit had the balls to stand at the podium and speak to the class about something he knew nothing about!"

Loki grinned impishly as Jane's eyes turned to him darkly.

"Stay right there." She growled, walking towards the door anxiously.

"Dr. Hamill, how are you today?"

Loki glanced around Jane's office, the grin remaining on his face as he heard Dr. Hamill's infuriated voice.

He turned around as Jane returned to her office a few moments later.

"Yeah, you're not going back to Asgard this year. There's no way you're going to avoid failing that man's class."

"We'll see about that, now won't we? I can be very convincing."

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Is there any other reason that you're here?"

"Not very sociable, are we, Jane? Very well, I will ask you one more question. What does this combination of numbers correspond to? A young woman wrote them on my hand. I cannot understand their purpose." Loki questioned, displaying the numbers written on his hand to Jane.

Jane stared at the numbers curiously before slapping a hand over her mouth to stifle a laugh.

A dark look crossed Loki's face.

He did not like being laughed at.

"Who wrote this on your hand?"

"A young woman who seemed very impressed at my display of dominance in Dr. Hamill's lecture. Are they some kind of coordinates? Perhaps she was inviting me to a meeting of sorts."

Jane shook her head, still smiling, much to Loki's annoyance.

"That's her _phone number. _You know, so you can call her, or text her. Did she say anything else before she gave it to you?"

Loki thought carefully about his conversation with the odd young woman.

She had invited him to partake in mischief, something he knew was best not to inform Jane of.

"She invited me to partake in an event she was attending with her friends."

Jane smiled, nodding her head.

"Right, okay, well, in this realm, when a woman is interested in a man, she gives him her number. He usually calls to let her know that he's interested, too. I can't imagine that you want to date this girl, do you?"

Loki snorted.

"I have more pressing matters than a young woman."

"That's what I thought. Don't worry about it, the ink will wash off. We should try to get you a cell phone soon, though. They're sort of a necessity here."

"Why?" Loki demanded, his eyes scanning Jane's face for answers.

Cell phones were not in Asgard. He had lived centuries without even thinking about the technology used on Earth. Jane Foster did not know what was and was not necessary to him.

"So you can call me if you have any more questions, so Thor can call you to check up on you,"

"You mean track me." Loki interrupted dryly, his piercing crystal eyes still searching Jane's face.

She faltered under his intense gaze.

"Okay, for argument's sake, let's say I won't give anyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. your phone number. Or at least, not to start with. Would you at least think about getting one, so I could call you if I needed to?"

"Perhaps."

"Well, that's a start. If I can teach Thor to ask for coffee nicely in a diner, I'm sure I can teach you how to use a cell phone." Jane said with an amused smile.

Loki glowered at her.

"I am not to be compared to my brother." He instructed in a venomous voice.

Jane's eyes widened slightly.

"I can see that this conversation is doomed to fail, regardless of your feeble attempts to hold my attention. Good day, Jane." Loki muttered, glancing at his brother's girlfriend momentarily before exiting her cramped office.

* * *

Loki's feet felt like lead as he trudged towards Dr. Hamill's lecture hall for his second day of the class.

The man would undoubtedly be incorrect about every historic event in the curriculum and seemed too arrogant to accept criticism from a more intelligent being.

This was a tragic flaw that seemed to be consistent among the residents of Earth.

"Hey, God of Mischief! You were supposed to call me last week!" He heard a familiar voice shout from behind him.

"Damn," he muttered to himself, not bothering to turn around.

"What the hell, dude? I thought that you were all about getting into trouble. Did you suddenly wimp out?" Tabby questioned, sounding winded as she caught up and matched Loki's stride.

Loki's eyes narrowed.

"Are you suggesting that I am a coward?"

"I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just saying if you really _were _all about mischief, you would have been there. Things got pretty crazy."

"I didn't hear about it on the news."

Tabby laughed, not sensing Loki's irritation.

"Okay, maybe it wasn't _that _large-scale. Just enough to keep our records clean, while still having a good old time."

Loki nodded his head. He could understand being inconspicuous about causing trouble.

He had a similar need, himself.

Maybe this insolent little girl would be a beneficial acquaintance for him after all.

"So are you going to give me a call this time?" She questioned, raising her dark eyebrows at him while planting her hands on her hips, as if she was scolding a small child.

Loki observed her stance in a combination of irritation and amusement.

She clearly did not understand his superiority to her. Instead, she was issuing him a challenge. She was attempting to control him. She was working to establish dominance in their hardly tolerable acquaintance.

Loki smirked.

Better men than this silly little girl had tried to control him.

Still, he desired this challenge.

After his failure in New York, his confidence had been shaken. S.H.I.E.L.D. _did _have the power to control him, primarily due to their green monster.

This girl, on the other hand, was horrible outmatched.

The prospect of this situation was deliciously tempting.

"Are you just going to keep staring at me, or are you going to promise to come out with us next time? After your showdown with Dr. Hamill, everyone is dying to meet you." Tabby said, eying Loki curiously.

"If I find the time in my schedule to join any trouble you and your friends concoct."

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head, to Loki's surprise.

"Where do you live?"

"Excuse me?"

"You live in that big ass house down West Avenue, don't you? My friend Brie said she saw you going home the other day. Yeah, you kind of struck me as the rich type. Well, I know where you live. I can just kidnap you tonight."

Loki frowned.

"You dare threaten a prince?"

"I would dare to do a whole lot worse to one prince in particular. Be ready by eight."

"Do you not understand that you are completely beneath me? What power have you to tell _me _when to make your acquaintance?"

Tabby laughed.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm a real bitch. Anyway, I'll see you at eight. I'm excited to see what a little bit of good old fashioned bar time does for you." She said with a wink, skipping off to her next class.

Loki stared after her, unsure of how to behave.

This girl had not given him the opportunity to explain to her just why she was incorrect to address him the way that she had. Instead, he had been forced to stand idly by as she invited herself to his home, in order to bring him out to socialize with her friends.

Shaking his head, he continued to walk to Dr. Hamill's useless lecture.

Breaking down this little girl and ripping the power she believed she had from her shaking hands would be fun.

* * *

Later that evening, Loki was pacing his home when he suddenly stopped, smirking.

Tabby was at his doorstep, sneaking towards his open window.

"Perhaps you would prefer entering the front door." He suggested coolly, not bothering to turn around to see the dumbfounded expression on her face.

"How the hell did you even know I was there? No one ever notices me breaking into their places. It's kind of a gift."

"Very few are able to sneak up on me."

"I'll keep that in mind."

Loki finally turned to face Tabby, mildly surprised by the change in her attire.

Instead of simply wearing a t-shirt and shorts, as most of the lowly students seemed to walk around in, she was wearing a dress that was _very _low-cut; lower cut than any attire he had seen on a woman in Asgard. The dress was also much more form-fitting than those of Asgardian women.

Perhaps this was a trick she was trying to play.

After all, he was a man and she was a woman.

Historically, women had been using lust against men for centuries.

_The joke is on her, _Loki thought in amusement as he smirked at her. He had never been romantically involved with a woman.

He had sat idly by while Thor engaged in amorous activities with women, instead attaining knowledge on magic.

Of course, women were much easier than education for Thor.

Conversely, women never seemed to have much time for Loki, even if he was the prince of Asgard. Academics, on the other hand, did not have the option of refusing a willing student.

"So, are you ready to go? Or are you just going to keep staring at me all night long? Not that I have a problem with it, but the guys _are _waiting in the car and a few of them can get pretty jealous." Tabby said with a devilish grin, her eyes flicking over Loki quickly before making contact with his bright eyes.

Loki's eyebrows furrowed.

"I was simply observing how grossly revealing your attire is. I assume that we will _not _be attending a formal occasion this evening."

Tabby's eyebrows elevated slightly.

"No, definitely not."

"What a pity. There's a certain pleasure one has ruining formal occasions."

Her eyes met his as her mouth twisted into an even wider grin.

"Maybe I'll take you to a wedding sometime. Meanwhile, we should get going. Is that what you're wearing?"

"Do you think it unacceptable?"

"No, I think it'll do just fine. It really makes your uh…your _eyes _look great." She responded, her green eyes sliding down his body towards his waistline before returning slowly to his eyes.

Loki met her gaze evenly, refusing to fall victim to this appealing young woman.

He followed her to the vehicle that would transport them to the bar of her choosing, nodding towards the three young men who were also piled in.

He was met with curious stares, as well as a cold glare from the driver.

"Guys, this is Loki, the 'god' I've been telling you about. Loki, this is Chad, Mike, and Wes."

Loki nodded towards each of the young men once more as the driver, Wes, started the car, quickly projecting them towards their destination.

* * *

Loki glanced around the room as the young men and Tabby guided him towards the bar, where many people seemed to be sitting, receiving drinks from a scantily clad woman behind the counter.

There were many young women dressed similarly to Tabby; perhaps dressing in provocative clothing was typical around these bars.

He sat down next to Tabby at the bar, still observing his surroundings.

"What's wrong? Never been to a bar before?" Chad joked, grinning at Loki easily.

Loki's eyes settled on Chad, who was still giving him a lopsided smile.

"No, I have not been in a similar setting before. In Asgard, I simply drink in the dining hall of my home."

Mike leaned over to Wes, muttering, "Where's Asgard?" in a low voice, sneaking a glance at Loki.

"I dunno, somewhere in Ohio, I think." Wes answered, shrugging as he received a bottle of beer from the bartender.

Loki smirked at the ignorance of the young men Tabby associated with.

Only the people of Earth would be so horrendously oblivious to the nine other realms.

"Wait, so you have an entire dining hall in your house? Dude, that's awesome!" Chad exclaimed eagerly, ignoring Wes and Mike, who were still speaking to each other in low voices.

"I told you, he's _loaded._ I mean come on, couldn't you tell just by looking at him? He looks like one of those aristocrats you read about in the textbooks!" Tabby reminded Chad with a giggle, accepting an odd looking drink from the bar tender. The bartender then looked at Loki curiously.

Loki held up his hand, indicating that he was uninterested in the beverages that his acquaintances were consuming.

Each of them looked and smelled revolting.

"Do not degrade me to such low levels. I would never be one of the lowly 'lords' of history. No, I am the prince that they serve." Loki reminded her irritably.

Tabby seemed like a fairly clever girl, and yet, she could not grasp the simple fact of his social status.

She rolled her eyes at him, that frustrating gesture.

"_Right, _you're royalty. Anyway, since you're so rich, I think the drinks should be on you tonight." She informed him with a wide smile, leaning closer to him as the rest of the guys laughed in agreement.

Loki raised his eyebrows.

"Money is immaterial to me. If you wish for me to sponsor your drinking for the evening, I should gladly do so."

All four graduate students stared at Loki with wide eyes, causing him to grin.

Yes, they were right in the palm of his hand. He was offering them something that they clearly found appealing, at no apparent cost. He was causing them to develop a dependency on him. Once they were dependent, they would undoubtedly become much simpler to control.

"Hell yeah! Tab, good call with this guy. I like him already!" Mike exclaimed, high-fiving Tabby.

Chad seemed to be equally pleased at Loki's offer, as he was already leaning over the counter and speaking to the bartender about more drinks he could sample.

Wes, on the other hand, seemed displeased by Loki's actions, judging from the coldness of his stare and the clenching of his jaw.

Loki immediately understood; Wes was the former alpha male of the group. Both Chad and Mike looked to Wes upon meeting Loki, which Loki presumed to mean they valued his judgment more than their own.

Offering them free alcohol, however, had evidently been an unexpected challenge against Wes.

Now, Chad and Mike turned their backs to Wes, instead fixing their attention on Loki, waiting for him to share knowledge that would aid them as loyal followers. Even Tabby was focused on him, which did not seem to escape Wes' attention.

"Hey, I love this song! Come dance with me!" Tabby instructed, grabbing Loki's arm and tugging him towards the middle of the bar, where a large group of similarly dressed women were dancing very provocatively.

Loki shook his head immediately.

"That activity is very much below me."

"Are you telling me that you don't dance?"

"Nothing gets by you, does it?" He responded with a slight smirk.

Tabby laughed, tugging at Loki's arm again.

"C'mon, what's the worst that could happen?"

Loki raised his eyebrows at the challenge.

"You could attract my attention to you more than you already have. That, silly girl, would put you in very real danger, I assure you." He replied, his eyes fixed on hers.

Her mouth twisted into an impish grin.

"What kind of danger?"

"I am not playing games with you."

Tabby's grin only widened.

"Whatever you say, buddy. I'm sure I'll find out eventually. Chad, come on, you're dancing with me!"

Chad looked up from the plate of fries he had been devouring, glancing between Loki and Tabby in slight confusion.

His eyes settled on Tabby, who was staring back at him impatiently.

"Any day now." She nagged, raising her eyebrows.

Chad silently obeyed, allowing Mike to swipe the plate of fries from him as he followed Tabby to the group of people doing what this realm considered 'dancing'.

Loki watched curiously.

It seemed that Tabby had control over the men in the group; it was unclear to Loki whether or not she had originally used brute force to get them to submit to her rule, but whatever she had done, it seemed that she had done it very well.

It then dawned on him that by asking him to join the established group of friends, Tabby likely intended to force him to submit, like the other young men in the group. She meant to make him obey commands as obediently and silently as Chad had.

He smirked at her.

Foolish girl.

She caught him staring at her and smiled back, tossing in a wink for good measure.

Loki rolled his eyes then turned to Wes, feeling his opponent's eyes boring into the back of his head.

"What are you doing with Tabby?" Wes instantly demanded, staring Loki down.

Loki laughed at Wes' attempt at intimidation.

"You're going to have to give me a more specific question."

"Are you trying to sleep with her? I know that she's made some pretty shitty decisions, but I doubt she would stoop down to _you._ Buying all of the alcohol in the world wouldn't change that."

"Is this love fueling your aggression?" Loki taunted with a smirk.

Fools in love were always the weakest.

Thor was the sheer proof of that.

Wes glowered back at Loki.

"Just steer clear of her, let's leave it at that."

"Oh, but this is _fun! _Now, let's say that I don't steer clear of Tabby. Maybe I _like _her. She does have a certain charm about her when she's dressed this way."

Wes' stance stiffened.

"Are you saying that you're planning on hooking up with her?"

Loki shrugged.

"Maybe I already have."

"You're lying."

"Your facial expressions betray you. You're currently in denial about the nature of your relationship with Tabby."

Wes got closer to Loki, attempting to intimidate him physically.

Loki simply smirked.

"Listen, you little shit, you can't just come in here and pretend you're more special than everyone else here. You might have money, but Tabby doesn't work like that."

"I'm glad you seem to think so."

"You don't?"

Loki shrugged.

"Nothing has forced me to think otherwise."

"Oh, I'll make you think otherwise." Wes growled, his muscles tensing.

"Whoa, let's bring the testosterone levels down a notch, okay guys? Loki, come with me. Let me explain to you just how this group works. You guys go ahead to the party without us. I'll call a taxi and meet you there." Tabby interrupted, hooking Loki's arm in hers as she gave him a stern look.

Loki smirked at Wes once more before allowing the tipsy young woman to guide him outside of the bar.

"Would you like to call a cab?" He questioned in amusement.

He was the god of mischief. He could detect a lie with the greatest of ease.

Tabby had been lying about her intentions to rejoin her friends at the party they had been planning on attending. She had been lying about her intentions to lecture Loki as well. It seemed that she had something else in mind. Something Loki was very interested in learning about.

"I might as well, we're going to have to get to a bedroom somehow," She replied, grinning up at Loki devilishly.

She quickly called the cab, slurring through the directions and instructions with the assistance of a curious Loki.

"So tell me, Loki, have you ever hooked up with a woman before?" Tabby asked, her bright eyes surveying him as he hesitated.

"I have had more pressing matters than _women _in my life."

"Well then, you're just going to have to listen to me for instructions, now aren't you? You might be a newbie, but you're still the 'god of mischief', so I expect you to be good."

Loki snickered.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm lacking in the 'good' department."

"In this case, being bad means you're good."

Loki raised his eyebrows, a grin spreading across his face.

He leaned closer to her, his lips just a few inches from her ear.

"Then I promise you, little girl, I will be very, _very_ good." He assured her in a low voice, a devious smirk still plastered to his face.

For once in his life, Loki was caught-off guard as Tabby jumped up on her toes, planting her lips on his firmly, wrapping her arms around his neck tightly.

Just moments later, the cab she called pulled up in front of the bar, blaring its horn at the pair.

Loki nodded towards the cab as Tabby separated herself from him, her eyes searching his face eagerly.

"You're coming, right?" She questioned as she took a cautious step towards the cab.

"You are accompanying me to my home." Loki responded.

Tabby grinned at his response, sliding into the cab eagerly and patting the seat next to her, indicating that she wished for Loki to join her.

He nodded, turning to face the group of young men that had been loitering outside of the bar for a few seconds.

Wes looked enraged while Mike and Chad simply looked surprised.

"I think I've figured out just how Tabby works." Loki said, winking at Wes swiftly before joining the young woman in the cab, both of them wearing satisfied smirks.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Loki stared down at the sleeping young woman clinging to his chest.

Perhaps Thor had been on to something when he opted for women over education. Women appeared to be much easier to gain control of; Tabby wore her desires on her sleeve, for all to take advantage of. It had certainly benefitted Loki this evening.

She had relinquished power so easily, so willingly.

Yes, women were certainly meant to be ruled over.

She gave a little start followed by a whimper, interrupting Loki's train of thought.

"Shh," he muttered, staring down at her curiously as she tightened her grip around him, burying her face in his chest to hide from an invisible monster.

"Don't let them get me," she pleaded softly, her voice muffled against his skin.

Loki glanced around the room, working to comprehend the basis of Tabby's fears. There was no one in the room with them, nor was there anyone in the perimeter that served as a threat. There had been no sound or movement to cause alarm, rendering Tabby's terror irrational.

"There is no one here. Now go back to sleep silly girl, you're upsetting yourself." He instructed her calmly.

He could feel her body grow limp as she followed his order wordlessly, drifting off into a peaceful sleep once again.

Loki could feel his grin creeping across his face as he shut his own eyes.

He had found someone to reign over while S.H.I.E.L.D. kept their eyes on him. He would learn tactics from this silly little girl, until he could ascend the throne of Asgard.

If the past served as any indication, he would not mind investing more of his time in Tabby.

He smiled as he sank into a light sleep, thinking about the women who would have to kneel before him when he became the king of Asgard.

Yes, Tabby Baker was just the beginning.

* * *

Loki awoke with a start, tightening his arm around Tabby instinctively.

He met her gaze as she looked back at him in surprise; her leg was halfway out of the bed and her arm was reaching for her bra, which had been tossed near the side table.

Loki's eyes narrowed as he processed the information laid out in front of him.

Tabby had been attempting to get out of bed while he was asleep.

He had heard about kings being slaughtered in their sleep by those they trusted the most. While Loki did not trust Tabby farther than he could throw her, he _had _given her a greater opportunity by allowing her to stay in his home for the evening, a mistake that was made on his own part.

"Hey, you're not much of a morning person, are you?" She questioned with a small smile, throwing a quick glance back to where her clothes were laying.

Loki raised an eyebrow at her.

"What were you planning on doing while I was asleep?" He asked sternly.

Tabby shrugged, grinning sheepishly.

"Oh, uh, I was thinking about going back to my house. My stomach has been growling for like, an hour. Besides, I didn't want things to be awkward for you. You said you've never really been with a woman before. Though I'm starting to think you were lying about that."

Loki ignored her attempts at charming him, continuing to stare at her intently.

"I also require sustenance. Get dressed. We will go out for breakfast."

Tabby blinked, the smile retreating from her face.

"Oh, no, that's not necessary, I have groceries back in my apartment, I don't really have the right kind of clothes to go out to breakfast and you know, I'm trying to save money and stuff," she rambled quickly, throwing on her clothes as Loki strode across the room, selecting the clothes he would be wearing for the day.

He looked back at her curiously as she slipped back into her revealing dress.

"Look," she sighed, running her hand through her hair before approaching Loki, "last night was great, I'm just not looking for a serious relationship. I didn't really think that you were either. Anyway, I'll see you later, I really should get going. Wes wants to see a movie in a few hours, so I need to get ready."

Loki's eyes darkened as he stared back at Tabby.

She was no longer the obedient human that had been in his bed just hours before. Now she was back to her insolent self, working to confuse and control him, as so many women had done to Thor in his youth. By mentioning plans that she had made with Wes, she was reminding Loki that she was not accepting him as a leader yet.

This rebellious little girl was giving him a run for his money.

"No."

"No?" Tabby echoed in confusion.

"Still as sharp as a tack, I see. I will not accept you disregarding me in such a manner."

"I know that I should have told you this first, but I just thought we were on the same page. Can you honestly tell me that you've been in the market for a girlfriend? I can't really imagine you showing up at some girl's doorstep with flowers and chocolate."

"Flowers and chocolate? Are those two somehow related for romantic purposes? No matter, you will listen to me without trying to change the subject again. I do not wish to share things. Instead, I would like to have you as my own. Given your actions last night, I do not think you'll find those conditions altogether unreasonable."

Tabby stuck her hands on her hips, scowling at Loki.

He sighed, looking up at the ceiling in frustration.

She was going to lecture him again.

"Don't you dare use last night against me! I was so drunk you should have just sent my ass home!"

Loki snorted.

"You seemed perfectly aware of your actions and surroundings."

"Whatever, maybe I'm just a great drunk. _Anyway, _I don't care what kind of weird jealousy thing you think you have going on right now, but I'm not some toy that you don't want to share with the other kids on the playground. I met you like, last week. Calm down."

"You may say whatever you wish on the subject matter. I have made my own feelings very clear and intend to see my expectations through. You can resist all you would like, though I cannot recommend that you do so." Loki responded coolly, his eyes sparkling in amusement as Tabby stomped towards the front door, carrying her shoes as she did so.

"Go to hell." She spat, throwing open the door.

Loki laughed at her as the door slammed shut.

He had been wrong the night before. Perhaps women were made to be ruled, but Tabby in particular was meant to break down any ruler that tried to control her. She seemed to thrive off of disobeying and arguing.

How strange.

How deliciously challenging.

She had certainly made a mistake by arguing with him so adamantly. Now she was not simply some woman he could control for his own amusement until he was sitting on a throne. Now she was a genuine challenge, as New York had been, without the interference of any of the exceptional residents on Earth.

It was just him against Tabby, and she would be the one to bow down at his feet.

* * *

Jane Foster stared across the kitchen table at the smirking Loki, wondering what in the world could have been running through his mind.

She had showed up at his house just a half hour after Tabby had stormed off, equipped with a catalog of different cell phones that he could purchase, along with the different plans he could use for those phones. She had also brought along what she called "IHOP," but he wasn't entirely sure that the spongy round stacks in front of him were meant to be consumed.

"Look, this is the iPhone. Everyone has the iPhone, it's great. I have one and I can't imagine going on without it." She explained, holding her phone up to Loki's unamused face.

He frowned, taking a moment to survey the piece of technology in her hands.

"If everyone has one then I could not want one. I remind you, I am more advanced and far less likely to succumb to your social trends. While I am sure that my brother is enjoying it, I could not force myself to do so."

Jane rolled her eyes, brushing a loose strand of hair out of her eyes.

"Then what are you going to do about a phone?"

Loki smirked.

"I'm not going to do anything." He responded in amusement, leaning back in his chair as his bright eyes followed Jane's frustrated movements.

"Well, I guess I can just tell Director Fury that I tried. It's probably for the best, anyway. After the whole New York City thing, I don't really know if letting you contact other people is the best idea. Um, moving on, how are your classes going?"

Loki raised his eyebrows at her.

"I am surrounded by insufferably unintelligent humans who call themselves educators."

Jane laughed, her golden eyes flicking up to meet Loki's.

"Yeah, you know, they're not so crazy about you either. I don't think you're going to be going home for a while. You might not even have any professors willing to take you on next semester." She joked, surprised at how comfortable she was feeling around Thor's younger brother.

Loki had never made a secret of his dislike of her; he had called her stupid on multiple occasions and had told Thor how stupid he was for engaging in a romantic relationship with a human at every chance that presented itself.

Loki shrugged.

"I would consider it very good judgment for a professor at this school to accept that they are unequipped to meet my academic needs."

"I wouldn't get too excited. Thor won't change his mind. You still have to go an entire year making straight A's before you can go back to Asgard. That means you're going to have to find enough professors to last you two full semesters, without doing anything to tempt them to fail you."

"Such little faith you have in me. You are forgetting. I can be _very _persuasive."

Jane's eyes widened slightly at the silky tone in Loki's voice.

Before she could shake off her reaction the strange sound, she heard a door slamming from behind her, causing her to jump.

Loki, on the other hand, looked completely amused.

"Loki, God damn it! Where are you? You have about five minutes to take your pants off and don't you _dare _overthink this!" Tabby's voice rang through the house.

Jane's eyes were the size of dinner plates as Loki stood up, a smirk playing on his lips.

Tabby stomped into the kitchen, where Jane and Loki were sitting, immediately looking at Jane with a curious stare, her cheeks turning a light shade of pink.

"Jane, this is Tabby Baker. Tabby, this is Jane Foster, my sister-in-law for all intents and purposes." Loki stated, his eyes twinkling mischievously as the two women stared at each other curiously.

"Um…hi…I'm Jane. It's nice to meet you, Tabby. Are you a student at Princeton?" Jane stammered, her face progressively reddening as Tabby glowered at a smirking Loki.

"Uh…yeah, I'm a grad student, studying history. Um, what's your major?" Tabby responded.

"Jane is a professor of astrophysics." Loki supplied.

Tabby closed her eyes, hanging her head.

"I am making such an ass out of myself. It was really nice to meet you Jane, but would you mind if I just stole Loki for an hour or two? He sort of owes me an apology." She said, approaching Loki's side.

He met her bright eyes, nodding towards her slightly before peering at Jane, who looked absolutely mortified.

"You know, I wouldn't mind at all. I actually have a staff meeting I need to get to. Um, I'll talk to you later, Loki." Jane replied, inching towards the front door, her face turning redder by the minute.

Loki watched her leave in amusement before turning to look at Tabby.

"I sincerely hope that you're not expecting an apology." He drawled in amusement, staring down at Tabby curiously.

Tabby rolled her eyes, stomping towards Loki's bedroom.

"Just get your ass in here and take off your pants."

"Would it be an inappropriate time to ask how your date went?" He called after her, unbuckling his pants as he sauntered towards his bedroom.

* * *

Tabby scowled up at Loki as he smirked to himself.

"You're an ass."

"Eloquent as always," he responded, his bright eyes flicking down to meet hers.

"You know, you should be a lot nicer to me. Most guys are."

"Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I believe you are in _my _bed, as opposed to any other man's."

Tabby glowered back.

"You've never even taken me on a _date._"

"Would you like me to court you?" Loki questioned, raising his eyebrows curiously.

Courtship was something he had never given much thought to, simply because it seemed so very _easy. _A male sought after a woman until he felt confident that proposing to her would be the proper next step to their relationship.

He had no need to take a wife, especially not until he was king of Asgard.

"Who the hell says 'court' anymore? No, I just want you to…I don't know…treat me like the other guys treat me. Listen to me when I speak, ask how high when I say jump, just be a regular guy!" She responded angrily.

Loki's eyebrows jumped up even higher on his forehead.

"You expect me to submit to you so entirely?"

"Well, yeah. That's kind of how it works."

"Oh, you silly girl, that is the very last thing I will ever do. No, you will be the one to submit yourself to me, I assure you."

Tabby bit her lip, furrowing her eyebrows.

"You think that I'm going to fall in love with _you_? No way, I'm never the lovesick idiot in relationships."

"The logic would suggest that if one of us was going to be said 'idiot', it would be you."

"Oh, honey, you are _so _out of your league. I'm going to have you wrapped around my finger by the end of the year and there's nothing you can do about it." Tabby purred, her green eyes studying Loki's amused facial expression.

"You underestimate me."

"You're overestimating yourself."

They smirked at each other for a moment before Tabby glanced at the clock on Loki's night table and smacked Loki's arm, causing him to jump.

"Hey, the Harry Potter marathon is on right now."

Loki raised his eyebrows at her.

"You know, Harry Potter? Like, the movies?" She clarified, looking surprised at Loki's mystified facial expression.

"We do not watch movies in Asgard. If we want to experience a glorious story, we live it ourselves."

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"Are you just being an ass, or have you seriously never seen Harry Potter before? It's like my favorite thing in the world!"

"No, I have not seen the movie you're referring to. Nor would I particularly care to watch it, while we're on the subject."

"Tough shit, there's a TV in your room and you're making me stay here for the night, we're watching it. Where's your remote?"

"I will not have you instruct me so harshly in my own home."

Tabby smirked up at him in amusement.

"Yes you will, because I could still leave. I could walk out that door right now and you'd be stuck sitting here all alone for the rest of the night. I'm sure I could find another guy who would be happy to watch Harry Potter with me."

Loki's eyes narrowed.

As the God of Mischief, he could detect a lie with the greatest of ease. This unfortunately was not a lie. Tabby was making a very real threat. Judging from her physical appearance and the way men behaved in her presence, Loki knew that she would not have a difficult time finding a male suitor to watch a movie with her.

"Perhaps I wouldn't be alone for the rest of the evening. I might invite over other women that I have met throughout the semester, who would be perfectly content missing your movie." He countered coolly.

Tabby laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, you go right ahead. It's really their loss. Nothing is worth missing Harry Potter, not even you."

"You're joking."

"I don't joke about Harry Potter."

Loki glowered at her, frustrated by the situation.

Tabby was more difficult to control than he had predicted. She was unwilling to compromise and even worse, she threatened to get her way. She did not give way to Loki's wishes, as so many on Asgard often did, nor did she seem to care about his interests, as Jane Foster cared about Thor's.

That did not hinder his interest in her, though. On the contrary, it heightened his desire to force her into submission, until she followed him around, as desperately in love with him as Jane Foster seemed to be with Thor.

The victory would just be that much sweeter.

"So, what's it going to be? Are you going to turn that TV on to Harry Potter, or am I leaving? It's your call." She questioned, her eyes flicking towards the pile of clothes lying by the door before raising her eyebrows at Loki.

"I will not turn on that television." Loki responded evenly.

"Is that so?"

"Is your hearing impaired?"

"No, but your brain must be. You'd really let me go call some other guy because you have some weird thing against Harry Potter?"

Loki smirked.

"You are not irreplaceable."

"The hell I'm not. Name one girl like me, I dare you."

"Every Midguardian woman I've ever met. You are no more than a silly little girl in my bed. I would not turn that television on for any woman. I would only turn it on if I desired to watch something myself."

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"Are you really sticking to the whole 'I'm never going to love you' mantra? Like, it's that's cool if you believe it, but this is kind of overkill. I just want to watch a movie. I'm not asking to meet your parents."

"I don't see how the two are related."

"One involves a more committed relationship than the other. Whether you like it or not, I'm staying here and I will be watching Harry Potter. We can either do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way. You've already made one stupid decision today. Do you want to make another?"

Loki's eyebrows raised in surprise.

"How dare you speak to me this way?"

"Yeah, yeah, it's what you get when you treat me like I'm just another replaceable girl to you. Now I'm going to make you fall in love with me. You just better hope that I decide to stick around after I do." Tabby responded with a playful grin, winking at Loki before reaching over his chest to snatch the remote off of his other night table.

Loki chuckled, not stopping Tabby as she flipped through the channels, searching for her ridiculous movie.

"I thought we already went over this, silly girl. I will not be falling in love with you during my stay on Midguard."

"That's what you think."

"You intend to change my mind?"

"I do."

Loki snorted.

"Silly girl."

"We'll see who has the last laugh."

Loki rolled his eyes as Tabby, who had settled down to watch the movie she had been whining about so adamantly.

At least he had given her a fair warning.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

A few weeks later, Loki found himself waiting at Tabby's doorstep, glancing down at his watch irritably.

She had promised him that she would be ready by the time he arrived at her door. Fifteen minutes later and he had not heard anything other than 'give me a minute' from her.

With an irritated sigh, Loki folded his arms across his chest. Tabby had been the one to insist upon going on this silly journey to something she had simply referred to as a 'fair' and yet she was stalling for time. Perhaps this was another trick she was trying to play on him; forcing him to wait in anticipation of her presence was something that surely appealed to the vain little girl.

After what felt like hours later, her front door finally opened.

"Did it really take you that amount of time to put on those clothes?" Loki questioned, his eyebrows raised as he looked at Tabby's attire.

She was just wearing an oversized sweater and leggings, not unlike the ones she wore on a day-to-day basis. There was nothing special about her outfit whatsoever.

"Disappointed?" Tabby questioned, a smile playing on her ruby lips.

Loki shrugged, still puzzled.

Without any explanation, the Midguardian girl sprang into action.

"Alright, let's get going, before the lines get too long. Do you have money on you?" Tabby questioned, still grinning as she grabbed Loki's hand, guiding him towards her car.

"Of course, you seem to enjoy extorting money out of me. Now, would you care to explain to me exactly what we're doing this evening?" He demanded as he climbed into the passenger's seat, watching Tabby start the car carelessly.

"I already told you, we're going to a Halloween fair. You know, I can't believe that your parents never took you to one when you were little. My parents were _deadbeats _and they took me. You were a neglected child."

Loki's face darkened.

"I am aware."

"Well, lucky for you, you have the most ridiculously fun person on campus at your disposal. I'm just trying to decide what we should do first. They're going to have a lot of Halloween stuff, like haunted houses and hay rides, but then again, the rides are really fun too and I'm planning on getting one of those wristbands that let you go on them over and over again. Is there anything you want to do?"

Loki looked at the chattering girl in surprise.

"No? Well, good, we'd probably end up doing whatever I wanted to do anyways. You know what? I think we should do the haunted houses first. It sounds fun, getting our adrenaline pumping before we hop on some of the rides. You're good with scary things, right?" Tabby interjected, not allowing Loki a sufficient amount of time to answer.

"What do you mean by that?"

"Do you get scared easily? Because I'm going to be honest with you, I'm a complete wimp."

Loki sneered.

"No, I do not get scared easily, I am Loki, Prince of Asgard. We do not stand for cowards in the palace."

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"Right. Well, if you start screaming like a girl, don't be offended if I leave you to find a Navy SEAL to protect me instead."

"You believe a seal will serve as proper protection?"

"Not like the _mammal_, you know, like the really buff guys that save the world all of the time."

Loki's eyes narrowed; her description resembled Captain America and Thor too closely for his comfort.

"You doubt my abilities to sufficiently protect you?"

"Do you want to protect me?" Tabby asked, her mouth curving into a knowing grin as she looked away from the road to glance at Loki.

"It would, I suppose, depend on the situation. If you were of use to me, I would protect you for my own interests, of course." Loki responded, eying her cautiously, knowing that she was still trying to gauge whether or not she had gotten him to fall in love with her.

"Bullshit, you would totally try to protect me if someone jumped out to attack me right now. Why are you so afraid to admit that maybe, just maybe, you might care about me just a little bit? Commitment issues?" She teased, sneaking another glance at him.

Loki clenched his jaw.

"You are quite unimportant to me. That fact does not stem from any defects I may or may not currently possess. Why are you so determined to prove something untrue?"

Tabby shrugged as she parked the car, unfazed.

"I like a challenge."

"There is a line between absurdity and a challenge."

Her bright eyes met his as she grinned.

"I like to straddle that line pretty often."

Loki's eyebrows furrowed.

With a giggle, Tabby jumped out of the car, her smile growing at the sight of the lit-up fairground, accompanied by the smell of slightly burned carnival food. Without missing a beat, she skipped towards the ticket booth, exuding excitement with each step she took.

Taking in the same sights with a scowl, Loki followed the skipping girl slowly, watching her carefully. Her attitude confused him deeply. She spoke of challenging him, but went about her affairs with such a light heart, seemingly oblivious to all of the moves and strategies she should have been considering. She was smiling just moments after threatening Loki, the adopted son of Odin. No one had _ever _smiled after threatening a son of Odin.

He wasn't sure whether to admire her courage, or make an example out of her.

"Hey, God of Mischief, are you coming, or are you afraid of a little haunted house?" Tabby called out a few feet ahead of Loki, beaming back at him.

Loki glared back at her, quickening his stride until he was standing in front of her.

"It would be prudent for you to learn to avoid belittling me, my silly little girl."

"Did you just say _my _silly little girl?"

Loki's eyebrows knit together as he stared back at her in surprise.

"I said silly little girl. I don't understand your tone of surprise. I have called you that on many occasions. You are incredibly silly and from what I have observed of you, you are in fact a female." He muttered, working to maintain a calm façade, which was very difficult to do when Tabby was smiling at him with a borderline deranged grin.

"No, no, don't try to pretend that didn't happen. You did, you called me '_my _silly little girl'. Face it, Loki, you pretty much just called me your girl. You like me." Tabby stated, folding her arms across her chest as she beamed up at a scowling Loki.

"I do not like you." He growled as he followed her through the entrance towards the haunted houses.

"Yes you do. Just admit it. You _like _me. You think that I'm _your girl._" She taunted, wrapping her arms around Loki's right arm, laughing as he frowned down at her irritably.

"I think nothing of the sort. I may have had a slip of the tongue, but I assure you, it was nothing more than that."

"You can deny it all you want. I heard it with my own ears."

"You are misguided by your desires."

"Hey, buck-o, I don't think you have any room to talk about desires. You know, since you so desperately desire me."

"You are vain."

"I guess you like that in your girls."

"Stop being insufferable, it is quite unappealing."

"Then why do I appeal to you?"

"You do not appeal to me at all."

"I'm calling bullshit."

"Charming." Loki muttered as they walked into the haunted house, shooting Tabby a dark look before squinting to see in the dark room.

Tabby's grip on Loki's arm tightened as they stumbled through the dark house, causing Loki to smirk slightly. She trusted him to protect her. She believed him to be a champion like Steve Rodgers, or Thor, who sought to defend the helpless Midguardians. She truly was a silly little girl.

As Loki smiled to himself, he heard a loud thump, followed by a scream that seemed to come from Tabby, who pressed herself against his body tighter.

He looked around for the source of her fear and saw a man reaching out towards her in the dark, an unsettling smile on his face as he continued to torment a terrified Tabby.

Without any prior thought or planning, Loki's fist sailed into the man's face, wiping the dark smile off of his face.

Tabby squealed again, loosening her grip on Loki's arm.

"Hey man, what the hell? You can't just _hit _people that scare your girlfriend! Don't come to a haunted house if you don't want to be scared! Jesus, I think I'm bleeding." The man complained, stumbling off into the darkness again, leaving Loki with a frowning Tabby.

"Loki, why did you punch him? He was just doing his job!" She exclaimed, slapping his arm.

Loki recoiled, irritated that he was being scolded.

Surely his brother, or any of the other Avengers for that matter, would have responded to the situation in a similar fashion. Loki should have been _rewarded _for his response.

"You feared him." He reminded her, annoyed at how irrational she was being.

Tabby paused.

"You're telling me that you punched the guy because I got a little bit scared?"

"I have been lead to believe that violence is an appropriate reaction to an imminent threat, so yes."

"Loki Odinson, you big jerk, you just protected me from some guy in a haunted house. You _so _like me."

"I didn't realize that violence was an expression of fondness."

"You wanted to protect your girl."

"He posed a threat to the both of us."

Tabby laughed as they exited the haunted house; none of the other employees had jumped out to scare the couple after Loki had taken his fist to the face of their coworker, making the haunted house experience fairly pathetic.

"I don't know why you're putting so much effort into denying that you might just like me. Here, I'll level the playing field a little bit. I like you, I think you're great. Now, is there anything you want to tell me?" Tabby questioned, looking up at Loki with an expectant grin.

Loki stared down at her blankly.

"Yes, actually, there is something I should probably tell you. You have made a very grave mistake in drawing my attention, Tabby. I am sure that you will regret it for the rest of your miserable existence."

"You really do know how to flatter a girl, don't you? Well, you admitted that I caught your attention, that's something. Now, come on lover, let's go on some of the rides. I have a feeling that the other haunted houses might not welcome us."

Loki looked down at her in surprise as she grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the unsafe looking metal contraptions that Midguardians were lining up around.

As they were standing in one of the lines, Loki couldn't help but notice a group of short Midguardians who appeared to be Tony Stark in his suit of armor, Captain America and the Hulk.

"Do you see that?" He asked Tabby in a low voice, not taking his eyes off of the group as they ran towards one of the funnel cake stands.

"What, those kids? Yeah, their costumes are really cute. I think every boy in America is dressed as one of the Avengers this year. What, do you want me to find you a cute little Captain America suit to wear around the fair?" She teased.

Loki's eyebrows furrowed.

"Do you mean to tell me that there is a holiday where children dress as the lost creatures who claim to protect the Earth?"

"Aw, don't tell me that you hate the Avengers. They're so cool! Didn't you ever see what happened in New York?"

"Did _you?_" Loki questioned in disbelief, raising his eyebrows at the oblivious woman by his side.

Tabby shrugged with a smile.

"I was studying abroad, so I missed a lot of it, but it was all over the news for weeks. Plus, anything involving Tony Stark is always in the magazines. Did you know he dated a guy for a while? Now I think he's with his secretary. Who knew, huh?"

Loki continued to stare at Tabby in confusion.

"All you took away from the disaster in New York City was Stark's involvement?"

"The guy practically rules the world. It's hard to ignore anything he's involved in. I paid attention to the other guys, too, just not as much. There was that useless guy with like, seven bows the entire time, there was the woman that was kicking some ass and taking names, there was Captain America, who is a total hottie, along with Thor, who is just so _yum_ and then there was the Hulk, who was just the biggest badass you've ever seen. See? I know my shit."

Loki winced at Tabby's description of Thor before speaking.

"And what of the villain they were warring with?"

Tabby shrugged, showing the man operating the ride her bracelet before guiding Loki towards the back of the ride.

"I don't know. I mean, I saw that there were a bunch of aliens flying around, but the news didn't really cover the main man behind it. I guess that's kind of a shame. I wonder what they did to him once they won." She mused, lowering a metal bar over their laps, locking them into the ride, much to Loki's dismay.

"Are you feeling compassion for an enemy of the Earth?" He asked, a smile creeping across his face as he surveyed Tabby's facial expression.

She shrugged with a sheepish grin.

"Hey, we're all a little fucked up in our own way. I'm sure the guy isn't as bad as everyone is making him out to be. There are always two sides to every war."

"You know, many civilians would consider that a very treasonous way of looking at the event."

"I don't really care too much about what most people would think about me. I've got a bad reputation to begin with. There isn't a whole lot at stake here." She reminded him, laughing as the ride started to click and whir from beneath them.

Loki couldn't help but smile back, puzzled, but inexplicably pleased by his companion's answer.

* * *

"Look at you, you're smiling. Don't even try to deny it. You had fun tonight." Tabby teased as she stood with Loki on her doorstep, observing the small smile on Loki's face.

"It was not entirely unpleasant." Loki allowed, not meeting Tabby's eyes.

She laughed, opening the door just a crack before glancing back at Loki.

"Do you want to come in, or are you still pretending that you don't like me?" She questioned with a smile.

Loki stared back at her in mild surprise before nodding his head.

"You have never invited me into your home before." He muttered as he followed Tabby into the house, glancing around cautiously as he did so.

As Tabby shut the door behind him, two large dogs came bounding towards them, howling and barking loudly.

"You have dogs." Loki noted, glaring down at the large dogs that were sniffing every inch of his legs.

"Yeah, Marie and Louis, you know, after the French king and queen. Louis is a Husky and Marie is an English setter. I adopted them last year. Do you not like dogs?" Tabby questioned as she took off her boots, tossing them near the pile of shoes lying by the door.

"I suppose I never understood the concept of owning dogs. They seem very needy and require a lot of attention."

"Aw, but you're only thinking about the bad parts."

"Are there good aspects?"

"Of course there are! Like, when they're puppies and you're just holding them and they're looking up at you with these big eyes and they just _trust _you. They totally and completely trust you not to hurt them. Then when they grow up, if you treat them right, they're just crazy about you. It's amazing to be able to say that some creature on Earth loves you more than it loves itself."

Loki nodded, his eyebrows furrowing.

"I suppose that might appeal to some Midguardians with low self-esteem."

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"One day you'll understand, especially if you're still with me. You can't be my boyfriend and hate dogs. It's just not going to happen."

"Boyfriend?" Loki demanded.

"Well, yeah, you're my boyfriend. I mean really, have you not been paying attention to the past month at all? We've been going on dates almost every other night, you haven't been talking to any other girls, so I've pretty much stopped going out with other guys, and we have sex like three times a week. Face it Loki, we're a couple."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you supposed to wait for me to express an interest in being your boyfriend?"

Tabby shrugged.

"I don't play into the whole 'let the men do everything' deal. Especially not with you, because we'd have a second ice age before you finally decided that you'd be okay with labeling what's going on here."

"And if I do not want to be your boyfriend?"

"That would be a real shame, because you know what boyfriends get to do?"

Loki raised his eyebrows expectantly.

"They get to sleep over."

"Sleep over?" Loki echoed in slight confusion.

"Mhm, it's like when we hook up at your place, except you stay here for the whole night and I make waffles for breakfast the next morning."

"Waffles?"

"Yeah, and I mean the good kind, not the shitty toaster ones. So, are you in, or are you just going to keep repeating everything that I say?"

Loki paused. He didn't know what waffles were, nor had he ever had a woman request that he 'sleep over' before. He was unsure about the details of the situation and he was very concerned about the consequences that being Tabby's 'boyfriend' would bring.

However, the smile on her face was more than enough to convince him that her offer was an acceptable one. She was allowing him access to her home for at least twelve hours. More than that, she was allowing him to be present while she was asleep. She was like the puppy she had been speaking of earlier; she was staring at him with big green eyes, trusting that he wouldn't hurt her.

Loki smirked to himself.

Silly girl.

"So, are you staying, or not?" Tabby questioned, setting her hands on her hips.

Loki chuckled.

"Yes, I will grace you with my presence for the evening. Provided that you, of course, serve me waffles in the morning."

"It's a deal."

* * *

Loki awoke to an odd noise hours later that evening.

Propping himself up against the headboard of the bed, he looked around for the source of the noise. The dogs were sleeping in the living area, he had not heard any other mortal entering the perimeter at any time during the evening and he had turned the television off once Tabby was sound asleep.

The noise occurred again, drawing Loki's attention to the source: Tabby.

She was curled up in fetal position next to him, her face buried in her pillow, emitting pathetic whimpers and murmurs.

It was another one of her frequently occurring night terrors.

Loki rolled his eyes, sliding his arm under the upset girl in order to see her face when he demanded an explanation.

He was mildly surprised when she pushed her face into his chest, beginning to sob.

"Please, don't let them get me." She murmured, shaking slightly as she pressed her face farther into Loki's chest.

He glanced around the room warily before returning his attention to Tabby.

"There is no one in the room, silly girl. You are having a nightmare. I didn't realize how prone to fear you are. Perhaps you should have opted out of the haunted houses this evening."

"Please." Tabby whispered desperately, not playing into Loki's jesting as she usually did.

Loki looked down at her in concern.

She was sound asleep, he knew that, but something was still threatening her. He had been around sleeping mortals before; Tony Stark, like Thor, snored dreadfully loud, Bruce Banner would toss and turn throughout the course of an evening and Steve Rodgers would babble on incoherently about Peggy, whatever, or whomever that happened to be. However, none of them had ever shown such fear while they were asleep. This was an abnormality.

"They will not get you." He assured her quietly, still staring down at her with a mixture of confusion and alarm.

"Do you promise?"

"You have my word, my darling." He responded, stroking her hair as Frigga had done to him when he was a child, comforting him after one of his many dreams about Thor bashing his skull in with Mjolnir.

He paused when he realized that he had used a pet name for the mortal girl. He had called her 'silly girl' many times prior to this moment, but that had always been primarily for his own benefit, it was a way of reminding himself that she was just a silly girl, a mortal who was insignificant especially in comparison to him.

My darling, on the other hand, did not promote the same idea. My darling was infinitely dearer. Thor referred to Jane Foster as 'my darling', and Loki was painfully aware that his idiot of a brother believed the mortal woman to be his equal, though he treated her as his superior. Yes, my darling was going to get him into trouble.

It would be wise to walk away from the situation, removing himself from the trouble he was quickly going to find himself in. However, admitting defeat was something Loki had struggled with all of his life. He saw it as a sign of weakness, a resignation to something more powerful.

This little girl was no more powerful than he. She was, in fact, quite helpless. He could have killed her at that very second, if he wanted to.

The fact that he had no desire to worried him deeply.

As he mentally waged a war on himself, Tabby moved closer to him, nodding her head against his chest gently as she began to nod off.

"Thank you." She sighed softly.

Loki ignored her as she quickly drifted off to sleep.

Still stroking her dark hair, he stared into the darkness, puzzled by the situation he found himself in.

Perhaps Tabby Baker presented a more formidable threat than he had originally given her credit for.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

"I hate Midguard." Loki growled decidedly as he trudged towards campus in the pouring rain, glowering at all of the cars zooming by on the road next to him.

Somewhere between October and mid-November, the weather had changed from the brisk, but tolerable temperature that fall had to offer, to a bitterly cold temperature, accompanied with rain and sleet.

The cold didn't bother Loki as much as it seemed to bother the other students; he had been born an ice giant. The rain and the sleet, on the other hand, was something that Loki could _not _bring himself to tolerate.

"Oh, you big baby, it's just a little bit of rain. I'll try to remember to buy a parking pass next semester, but until then, you're just going to have to suck it up." Tabby informed him, pulling the hood to her rain jacket down further, to the point where Loki could no longer see her face.

"I should not have to be subjected to this."

"I shouldn't have to be subjected to your whining either, but here I am."

Loki scowled.

"Cheer up, Mr. Grumpy-Pants. I heard that temperatures are supposed to drop today. We might get snow." Tabby persisted, the hint of a smile showing from underneath her oversized hood.

"Snow would be equally miserable."

"No it wouldn't. I love snow! Professors _always _cancel class when there's snow. A snow day would give us an entire day to set up Thanksgiving decorations, drink that scotch you just bought and look through recipes for Thanksgiving. You're staying over break, right?"

"Thanksgiving?" Loki echoed curiously.

Tabby nodded, her smile widening slightly. Jane Foster, Loki's sister in law, had explained to her that Loki was from some foreign country and didn't really get American culture, making it difficult to discuss things like Thanksgiving with him.

Tabby didn't really mind it; being the teacher instead of the student was a nice change, especially since she was teaching _Loki. _It was so much simpler to talk to him when he didn't know enough on the subject matter to argue with her.

"Yeah, it's this great holiday where everybody makes a bunch of food and eats it with whoever they like the best, y'know, friends, families and stuff. People usually eat with their families, but seeing as we both come from some pretty fucked up families, I was thinking that we could just have our own Thanksgiving."

Loki raised his eyebrows as they entered the academic building where their World Civilization class was being held.

"You would prefer my company for this particular holiday?"

Tabby grinned back at him.

"Don't read too much into it. You're just going to be the only person left on campus for Thanksgiving. I'm sort of stuck with you."

Loki smirked at Tabby, following her into the lecture hall.

"You admitted that you like me the best, my darling. Your carefree façade is deteriorating."

Tabby stuck her tongue out at him, plopping down into one of the plush seats in the lecture hall.

Loki followed suit, still wearing his smug grin.

"Shut the hell up, you like me more. Hey, do you think that Jane will be around for Thanksgiving, or will she be with your brother? I was thinking about inviting her, too. And I mean, if your brother decides to visit her for Thanksgiving like a normal husband should, he could always eat with us, too."

Loki snorted.

"You have never witnessed my brother during a feast."

"Oh, c'mon, he couldn't be _that _bad. I've been best friends with Mike and Chad since I was like, ten. I know how boys eat."

Loki shrugged, letting out a sigh as he settled back into the seat, mentally preparing himself for another ridiculous lecture by an unintelligent professor.

"Anyway, can you please ask Jane the next time you see her? I tried texting her to ask if she could do lunch the other day, but she's been so busy with grading midterms that I haven't really gotten a hold of her."

"Very well." Loki mumbled as the professor strode to the podium, calling the entire lecture hall to attention.

* * *

Loki sank into the couch as Tabby ran around the kitchen of her house, clattering points and pans loudly as she sang off-key renditions of what she informed him was Christmas music.

She had insisted on making a big fuss over Thanksgiving; Jane had agreed to come to the feast, along with one of her Midguardian friends, the very small, very outspoken Darcy Lewis.

Loki didn't mind Jane's friend; she had spoken of ridding Thor of his consciousness. Any Midguardian with the power and motivation to hurt Thor was welcome to join him in a celebratory feast.

The doorbell rang over Tabby's singing, causing the dogs to bark loudly as they bounded over to the door excitedly.

"Hey Loki, can you get that? I'm juggling three different things right now and I'm pretty sure that at least two of these things are going to burst into flames if I look away for even a minute." Tabby hollered from in front of the stove.

Loki groaned, pushing himself up off of the couch and trudging towards the front door.

Opening the front door, he nodded at Jane and Darcy, opening the door wide enough for them to enter Tabby's home without letting the dogs out of the house.

"Hey Loki, happy Thanksgiving! Thanks for having us over! Is Tabby in the kitchen?" Jane questioned, bending over to pet Louis before smiling up at Loki.

"Yes. If there is any confusion on her location, just let the horrible sounds guide the way. They are apparently called Christmas carols." He responded, throwing a glance over his shoulder as Jane and Darcy hung their coats up on the hangers beside the door.

"Oh, great, I love Christmas music! Come on, Louis, let's go see what your mom is up to in the kitchen!" Jane cooed, grinning down at the husky before skipping towards the kitchen.

"How are you dealing with this?" Darcy asked, following Loki as he strode towards the living room once again.

"What do you mean?" Loki responded, raising an eyebrow as she sat down on the couch next to him.

"Oh, come on, you went from trying to kill everyone in New York to being this guy who sits in the living room studying while his girlfriend sings Christmas music from the kitchen. How does that even happen?"

Loki's eyes narrowed.

"I am studying so I may return to Asgard as the rightful king. I do not enjoy this any more than you may enjoy being eaten alive by fire ants."

"Okay, then what about your girlfriend?"

"What about her?"

"She seems _normal. _Why are you dating her? I thought you decided that everyone on Earth was an idiot."

"Oh, I assure you, she is an exceptional idiot."

"Have you told her that?"

"Each and every day."

"How romantic."

"You are patronizing me."

"You are correct. C'mon, give me _something _here. What gives? Why is she with you? Why are you with her? I'm curious. I want all of the details. Do you live here now, or are you just the slam, bam, thank-you ma'am type?"

Loki blinked, surprised by how forward Darcy Lewis was.

He had heard from the members of S.H.I.E.L.D., as well as Jane Foster, that she could be quite a handful, but he had expected her to be at least a little more standoff-ish around him, given her understanding of the chaos that had occurred in New York.

"She is a very attractive woman. I suppose she believes that I am attractive as well."

"Bullshit Loki, Jane told me that you've been exclusive since Halloween. You hook up with someone attractive. You don't jump into a relationship with someone just because you like the way they look. Do you love her?"

Loki stared at Darcy in disbelief.

"Of course not."

Darcy rolled her eyes at his response.

"Does she try to enslave entire civilizations too?" She persisted.

Loki shrugged, recollecting Tabby's dominance over her male friends.

"In her own way, I believe that she very well may."

"Do I need to call S.H.I.E.L.D. on your ass? I'm pretty sure Barton is chomping at the bit for any excuse to deck you in the face."

"I expanded his mind. He should be thanking me."

"Y'know, I always thought the guy was kind of a dick."

"Yes, I would have to agree with you." Loki conceded, nodding his head thoughtfully as he stared at the football game that Tabby had turned on earlier in the day.

Darcy laughed.

"So what kind of civilizations is your girl bringing down? Any that I should be concerned about?" She questioned.

Loki sighed, unable to bite back a smile.

"That all depends. Are you very fond of men?"

"What, she's going to kill all of the men on the planet? That sounds pretty tricky."

Loki chuckled, shaking her head.

"No, slaughter would be a kindness compared to what she does. She manipulates and controls various men with a terrifying amount of ease."

"Is that how she managed to rope you into becoming a cookie-cutter student?"

"I would hardly say that's a fair analysis. I do not succumb to her tricks as many others do."

"Right. So, she's taking down men, is she? Why, is she like one of those ridiculous Victoria's Secret models who don't look like they're real? Seriously, now I really want to meet this girl. You make it sound like she's some kind of monster."

"She very well may be."

Darcy rolled her eyes before standing up, nodding towards the kitchen as an indication that she wanted Loki to follow her.

"Why is my presence necessary? I am already well acquainted with Tabby."

"You can't just sit around studying all day. Trust me, I did the whole college thing and I never studied on holidays. I didn't really study much at all, for that matter."

"I have a lot resting on my grades."

"Do I need to get your girlfriend to come in and enslave you herself?"

"She does not control my behavior."

"Whatever you say, Odinson. I'm going to go see what your girlfriend looks like, if she's busy enslaving so many men, and maybe taste some of the food before dinner starts. Have fun reading about the Enlightenment." Darcy laughed, walking towards the kitchen eagerly.

Loki stared after her for a moment before shaking his head and returning his gaze to his textbook.

* * *

"Tabby, all of this tastes amazing. Where did you learn to cook?" Jane asked with a smile as she swallowed a bite of turkey.

Loki rolled his eyes; Tabby was a subpar cook at best. The cooks in the palace in Asgard were _real _chefs. Jane was obviously lying to the girl.

"Um, well, you know, I had to start cooking for myself at a pretty young age. Hey, do you want to bring home leftovers for your husband? I feel bad that he's missing Thanksgiving dinner with you." Tabby responded, tilting her head towards Jane sympathetically.

"Oh, no, no, he's um…he's away on _business. _I'm sure that wherever he is, he's enjoying a very large meal right now." Jane responded quickly, avoiding Loki's curious stare.

"You're kidding. What kind of job does he have? Doesn't his boss understand that he needs to spend the holidays with his family?"

"My brother is a lack luster ruler. Despite his flaws, he continues to rule with a dedication that I will admit is mildly impressive." Loki answered dryly, picking at the food on his plate with a fork.

Jane kicked him from under the table, causing Loki to jump in his seat, bumping his knees on the bottom of the table.

As he opened his mouth to reprimand her, Jane spoke up again, drawing Darcy and Tabby's attention away from the outraged prince.

"He's a politician. He just gets so wrapped up with work. You know, making sure all of the constituents are happy and allocating the funds. All of that jazz."

"Really? I didn't have you pegged for the wife of a politician. What's his name? Maybe I've heard of him."

"Oh, you undoubtedly have." Loki agreed, causing Jane to kick him from under the table once again.

Loki glowered at her as she rushed to cover up her story.

"His name is Donald. Um, I just call him Donny."

"Donny Odinson? No, I don't think I've heard of him. What kind of politics is he involved in? Does he work in Washington, or is he local?"

Jane face reddened as Loki and Darcy watched her in amusement.

She seemed intent on lying about Thor, something that Loki was very curious about, but was a very poor liar. Only a silly girl like Tabby Baker would believe her ridiculous lies.

"Um, no, he works in Washington, which is why he's always away. Sometimes he has to travel abroad too, because he's…um…he's an ambassador, kind of."

Tabby's eyebrows furrowed as she nodded, obviously not understanding what Jane was trying to say.

"You know what, it's fine. I never really understand it when people try to tell me what their jobs are. I'm sure that Donny is an amazing politician. The fact that Loki said he was lackluster politician means that he's great. Loki always feels obligated to throw rocks at shiny things." Tabby said, shooting Loki a teasing grin before focusing on Jane again.

Loki raised his eyebrows at Tabby, but didn't argue as the girls giggled loudly.

He was outnumbered. He knew better than to start a fight when he was outnumbered. He had learned from New York, as it turned out.

"So do you guys have any plans for Christmas yet? I think Jane was telling me that Donny will be home just in time for Christmas Eve and our apartment is always full of people. You should come over." Darcy said through a mouth full of mashed potatoes.

"Oh, I really don't want to intrude, especially since Donny is going to be there." Tabby responded, taking a lengthy sip of wine afterwards.

"You know, I would enjoy seeing my brother for the holidays. Perhaps we could set up another dinner." Loki said, smirking at Jane, whose face was progressively getting paler as the conversation continued.

Loki did not know why Jane Foster felt obligated to lie about Thor, but he enjoyed watching people get tangled in their lies.

Darcy grinned, seeming to enjoy watching Jane squirm just as much as Loki did.

"Yeah, definitely! Why don't we just have a casual dinner on Christmas Eve? That way you can still spend Christmas day with your boo thang." Darcy agreed, grinning at Jane, who scowled back at her.

"Okay, that sounds...nice." Jane said, forcing herself to smile.

"Really? Okay, great, now I'm excited! I've been dying to meet Loki's younger brother." Tabby chirped excitedly, beaming at Loki, who rolled his eyes.

"I assure you, my darling, he is quite unimpressive."

"Really? I think he's the opposite. When we first met him...oh, my god. He's built like a Calvin Klein model! I mean, we thought he was crazy at first, but Jane _did _hit him with an RV," Darcy blurted out, giggling as she held her empty wine glass.

Loki's face darkened as the subject shifted to Darcy Lewis praising his idiotic younger brother, while Jane scowled at Darcy once again.

"Wait, you hit him with an RV when you first met him? Wow. I hit a guy with my car once, but that was because I caught him cheating on me. Why'd you hit Donny?" Tabby asked, unable to stifle a laugh.

"It was an accident. He was standing in the middle of the field during a thunderstorm, how was I supposed to avoid hitting him?" Jane responded, smiling slightly as she brought her wine glass up to her lips.

Loki smirked at the mental image of Thor getting knocked over by a large vehicle while the girls giggled.

"Jesus, what was he doing out there?"

"Oh, he was landscaping. Yeah, it was one of the projects that they were doing in New Mexico. Something about redistricting." Jane responded, shrugging as her face reddened slightly.

"Ah, that makes sense. Well, now I'm really excited to meet him. He sounds really interesting." Tabby said, smiling easily.

Loki rolled his eyes.

Hopefully Tabby would be very disappointed when she met Thor.

* * *

"Wow, what a day. I'm so tired." Tabby groaned as she flopped onto the bed next to Loki, who was flipping through the pages of his textbook with a look of disdain plastered on his face.

"Yes, you made quite a spectacle of the feast. I still do not understand what its purpose was."

"Y'know, just to get together with friends and have a day away from school and work. Don't tell me that you didn't have fun."

Loki shrugged.

"It was not entirely unpleasant."

"Whoa there, don't overwhelm me with all of this emotion. Are you at least excited for Christmas? How long has it been since you've seen your brother?"

Loki raised his eyebrows.

"Not long enough, I assure you."

Tabby rolled her eyes, snuggling against Loki's side as he scowled down at his textbook.

She remained quiet for a moment, watching Loki study before speaking up again.

"So, what do you want for Christmas?"

"Pardon?"

"You know, Christmas. You buy your friends and family presents. I want to buy you something. Do you have anything that you want?" Tabby explained, her eyes twinkling as she grinned up at a very confused Loki.

"I would enjoy waffles." Loki responded decidedly.

Tabby rolled over onto her back laughing.

"Okay, I'll take that as an 'I don't know'. Do you have any idea what we should get Donny? I can't just go for a sweater, because I've never met him. Think he'd just like some nice liquor or something?"

"My brother is very fond of drinking." Loki replied, shutting his textbook and placing it on the side table next to his side of the bed.

"Great, then I'll try to find something at the liquor store tomorrow. I already needed to go there - I'm planning on pre-gaming before we go bar-hopping tomorrow night."

Loki nodded, hardly paying attention to Tabby's words.

"What? What could possibly be running through that complicated brain of yours right now?" Tabby teased, noticing Loki's distant expression.

"You do not control me." He muttered, more to himself than to Tabby.

Tabby raised an eyebrow at him, an amused smile flitting across her face.

"Is that a challenge?"

Loki looked at her in surprise.

"No, simply an observation. I was having a conversation with Darcy Lewis about your exceptional talent when it comes to manipulation."

"And you think that I don't control you?"

"I know that you do not."

"Hm. I guess you are a little harder to boss around than Chad or Mike, but only because you insist on being such a pain in the ass all of the time."

"Or perhaps it is because I am above your skill set."

"Hey, the year's not up yet, bud. You're going to fall in love with me and when you do, you'll be as whipped as they come."

Loki raised his eyebrows, staring at the grinning Tabby curiously.

"You do not honestly believe in that delusion?"

"With all of my heart."

"Oh, my poor darling, you will be cruelly disappointed, then."

Tabby just smiled.

"We'll see about that."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

"Are you seriously wearing that to Jane's? Loki, it's _Christmas._" Tabby complained upon seeing the outfit Loki had selected for himself.

"Yes, you have been telling me that repeatedly." Loki said, his eyebrows furrowing as he struggled to understand why his outfit was unacceptable.

"You're wearing like, all black. Black is not a Christmas color. You wear green all the time, go change into one of your sweaters or something."

"No."

"Ugh, please don't be difficult right now. I promised Jane that we would be at her house twenty minutes ago."

"Your lack of time management skills does not reflect on me, nor does it make me feel any inclination to change my clothing."

"You're just going to be difficult until I give up, aren't you?"

"I fully intend to be, yes."

Tabby frowned, surveying Loki's clothing once more before leaping onto his back, taking the demi-god by surprise; something that rarely occurred.

"Change your clothes!" She yelled, wrapping her arms around his neck as Loki flailed, attempting to get the young woman off of his back.

"No!" Loki choked out, spinning around in the hopes of disorienting Tabby.

"I'm not letting go until you agree to change your clothes! Come on. Just wear that green sweater you wore to class on Monday!"

"I will not."

"If you loved me, you would change your clothes."

"Unfortunately for you, I do not love you."

"You're a shit liar. Love me and put on a different goddamn sweater."

"I will do neither."

"Love me Loki!" Tabby hollered, starting to laugh as Loki backed up towards the couch.

"You're insufferable." Loki growled, attempting to throw Tabby off his back and onto the couch.

"Just love me." She giggled, tightening her grip on his neck.

"Release me."

"Not until you admit that you love me." She responded, kissing his neck teasingly.

"I suppose I'll have to carry you to Jane's, then."

"I'll tell you what, I'll make an exception. If you change your sweater, I won't make you admit your true feelings for me."

"You're trying to manipulate me."

"Is it working?"

"It is not."

"You're impossible." Tabby groaned, sliding off of Loki's back as he chuckled.

"Shall we put the presents and dogs in the car?" He responded with a smirk.

"Yeah, yeah, come on."

Loki gathered the stack of presents in his arms as Tabby guided the dogs towards her car, scolding Louis every time he tried to make a break for the neighbor's cat instead.

"You know this isn't over, don't you?" Tabby questioned as she started the car, grinning at her smug boyfriend.

Loki smirked back at her.

"I would be disappointed if you did not challenge me further."

* * *

"Hey, Tabby, Loki, welcome! Aw, you brought Louis and Marie, how cute! Come on in. Loki, Th-um, _Donny _is in the living room watching a movie. I don't know where Darcy is. I think she might be last-minute shopping at the Target down the street. Oh, Tabby, this is Eric Selvig. Eric, this is Loki's girlfriend, Tabby." Jane rambled as she let the couple in, along with the two dogs following them.

Eric eyed Loki wearily, but quickly moved to shake Tabby's hand.

"Nice to meet you Tabby," he murmured, not taking his eyes off of Loki.

Loki smirked at him, amused that he still struck fear in the heart of the astrophysicist, even after he had been humbled by the Avengers.

"It's nice to meet you too, Eric! Loki told me that you worked with him on some kind of project. It sounds like you're super smart." Tabby beamed.

Jane's eyes widened as she turned to look at the smirking Loki.

Eric just smiled nervously, nodding his head.

"Well, thank you. I'm sure he doesn't do the story proper justice. He was definitely the mastermind behind the whole thing."

Tabby smiled back at Eric for a moment before whirling around to face Jane and Loki.

"Did you say that Donny is in the living room? I'm absolutely dying to meet him. Come on Loki, you have to introduce me." Tabby insisted, reaching down to snatch Loki's hand.

Loki withdrew his hand before she could grasp it, staring at her disdainfully.

"I am sure you are perfectly capable of introducing yourself. I have seen you do it numerous times before."

"He's your brother. You have to introduce me to him. It's your job as a boyfriend and as a brother. This isn't negotiable."

Loki raised his eyebrows at her, understanding that she was challenging him in front of Jane Foster and Eric Selvig.

"You cannot command me to do it."

"Fine, don't come. That's fine. Donny and I will just talk all about you. Or maybe we'll talk about each other and fall in love. I guess you'll just have to find out." Tabby finally said; shrugging and smiling at Loki before turning around and walking towards the living room.

Loki stared after her irritably before following Tabby, shooting a dark look at Eric and Jane as he did so.

Tabby was walking through the doorway to the living room cautiously, hoping to get a better glimpse of the burly blonde man lounging on the couch before he noticed her, but her stealth was compromised when Louis and Marie bounded into the room, eager to meet someone new.

Thor looked at the dogs curiously before looking up and noticing Tabby and Loki standing in the doorway.

Smiling broadly, the god of thunder scooped up both of the large dogs in his arms.

"Are these yours?" He asked excitedly.

Loki rolled his eyes as Tabby smiled back, nodding.

"Um, yeah, that's Louis and that's Marie." She answered, nodding towards the respective dogs.

"Hello Marie and Louis, I am your uncle Thor!" Thor boomed, beaming down at the two dogs, who were trying to wriggle out of his firm grip.

"Brother, they are not children. Neither of us gave birth to dogs. Tabby adopted them from a local shelter." Loki drawled, leaning against the doorway as Thor began to play with the dogs, his bright eyes sparkling with excitement.

"Did he just call himself Thor? Like the Avenger?" Tabby whispered to Loki in confusion.

Jane popped up from behind them, having heard Thor's identity slip from the other room.

"No, no, that's just a nickname. Everyone always tells Donny that he looks just like Thor. Sometimes people on the streets even stop and ask him for an autograph. I guess you need to spend less time at the gym and more time at the barber shop, honey." She laughed nervously, slipping past Tabby and Loki to sit down next to Thor, shooting him a strict look.

"Oh, uh, yes, my father gave me the name Donald Odinson. Jane Foster tells me that Loki is currently courting you, Tabby Baker. I am very pleased that my brother has found a companion. For many years, we believed that he may have been more interested in Asgardian men…"

"Brother," Loki hissed, glaring at his grinning younger brother.

Tabby just laughed, approaching the couch and sitting on the other side of Thor, who was still playing with Louis and Marie.

"Yeah, he's not really a smooth-talking kind of guy, believe it or not."

"Nonsense, everyone in Asgard refers to Loki as 'silver tongued'." Thor objected.

"Y'know, I think they might actually call him that for a different, more personal, reason." Tabby responded, shooting Loki a devilish grin before returning her eyes to an obviously confused Thor.

"I do not understand. Does Loki's tongue serve another purpose?" Thor asked, his eyebrows knitting together as he turned to look at Jane questioningly.

"Ah, brother, you have not changed one bit." Loki chuckled, sinking into an armchair across the room from the two women and Thor.

"Um, so Tabby, why don't you tell Donny a little bit about yourself? I was trying to do it myself earlier, but I figured you would be able to answer his questions a little bit better than I could." Jane interjected, resting a hand on Thor's arm lightly.

"Oh, yeah, sure. Um, well, I'm studying history at Princeton and I'm dating your brother even though he's a giant pain in my ass. Is there anything else in particular that you'd like to know?" Tabby questioned, smiling in amusement.

Thor's bright eyes squinted slightly as he focused on the girl in front of him.

"Do you have intentions to marry my brother?"

Tabby choked on air, Loki's eyebrows shot up to his hairline and Jane sank her face into her palms, frustrated that Thor couldn't hold a normal conversation with anyone on Earth.

"You know what? Maybe we should just start eating some of the food in the kitchen." Jane suggested quickly, jumping up off the couch and gesturing in the direction of the kitchen.

"That sounds like a perfect idea." Tabby agreed, rushing to join Jane.

"Ah brother, still so naïve in the ways of Midguard." Loki teased once the women had left the room, leaning back in his armchair comfortably.

"I do not understand. Was my question out of line?"

"Very much so."

"Father would have asked the same question."

"Father is naïve in the ways of Midguard as well. They do not behave as we do. They do not like being straightforward about their intentions. It seems that having ulterior motives is normal, but professing them is a crime."

Thor nodded, staring ahead at Loki thoughtfully.

"It seems that you have learned much from your stay in Midguard. Would it be safe to assume that you have also learned much from Tabby Baker?"

"I suppose I would have to credit some of my knowledge to her, though I gained my knowledge largely from observing her."

"I like her. She makes you smile. Very few people throughout the nine realms can make that boast."

"She is a fool."

Thor threw his head back laughing.

"Loki, you believe everyone to be fools. Jane assures me that she is intelligent. I see that she is also very beautiful. She will bear fine children."

"I do not intend to marry her in the nearby future."

"Intentions and actions are two entirely different things. When I was banished to Midguard, I planned to return to Asgard immediately and end the civilization of frost giants. Instead, I met Jane Foster and realized the error of my ways. I am excited to see what you learn from Tabby Baker."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I cannot imagine what she has to teach me."

* * *

"Hey, are you guys done eating yet? I'm dying to open these presents." Darcy Lewis complained from the living room as the rest of the group sat at the kitchen table, stuffing their faces with the various foods that Jane had prepared.

"Are you even finished wrapping?" Jane countered, throwing a glance over her shoulder towards the living room.

"I found a bunch of gift bags under the couch. C'mon, it's _Christmas. _We eat all the time! Let's open some gifts!"

"You know, I wouldn't object to opening some presents." Tabby said, shrugging as she set down her fork and knife next to her plate.

Thor looked up from his plate, food still hanging out of his mouth, while Loki continued to scoot the remains of his Christmas dinner around his plate with his fork, not particularly fond of the feast Jane had prepared.

"I am not sure that my brother is capable of departing from his plate long enough to open Christmas presents." Loki said coolly, smirking at Tabby, who rolled her eyes.

"Donny, is there any chance that you could take a quick break from eating to unwrap a whole bunch of presents? It'll be super fun. Loki even got you something." Tabby informed Thor, as if she was speaking to a small child, instead of a large, muscular man.

Thor's eyebrows shot up as he looked from Tabby to Loki, seemingly convinced by her argument.

"Yes, I would enjoy opening gifts. Come; let us congregate in the living area!"

Tabby smirked at Loki as they all walked towards the living room, with Thor leading the way.

Loki bit back a smile as his eyes met hers, unable to help feeling pleased that his girlfriend had manipulated his brother so easily. Of course, Thor was very unintelligent; many women stood a fair chance at manipulating him. However, having one of those women at his disposal was bound to come in handy for Loki eventually.

They all found seats in the living room as Jane began to pass out presents to their respective recipients.

Once the presents were all distributed, Loki looked down at the pile in his lap in surprise.

Not only had Tabby purchased him presents, but it seemed that he had received gifts from everyone sitting in the room, including a very suspicious Eric Selvig. How strange.

"Open my present first." Tabby instructed with a grin, rattling the gift that Loki had purchased for her next to her ear.

Loki glared at her for a moment before obliging, opening the gift that Tabby had given him while everyone else in the room began to open their presents.

Tearing away the paper, Loki scowled at the present sitting on his lap.

She had given him an Avenger's playset, completed with action figures of each of the Avengers, as well as a poorly constructed action figured that appeared to be a replica of himself.

Darcy burst out laughing at the sight of Loki holding a small Captain America with a look of disgust on his face, drawing further attention to the situation.

A look of outrage crossed Thor's face; forcing Jane to lean closer to her oblivious boyfriend and explain that it was just a toy, instead of an actual person minimized to the size of a doll. Meanwhile, Eric Selvig looked at Tabby in concern, clearly wondering just how much the demi-god's girlfriend really knew about S.H.I.E.L.D.'s most well-known agents.

"I was grabbing a toy for the Toys for Tots drive in the dining hall when I saw this and I just _had _to get it for you. You know, because of the time you were talking about them on Halloween. See? It comes with the bad guy, too. You can reenact the whole thing and let him win, if you want." Tabby explained with an amused smile.

A grin crept up on Loki's face.

"You mean to tell me that I can reenact the glorious battle with a different outcome?"

"Yeah, sure, as long as you don't become one of those crazy comic book guys because of this. Donny, are you okay? Don't tell me that I should have picked you up a set too." Tabby teased, smiling at Thor, who was staring intently at the box on Loki's lap.

"Oh, yeah, he's really into the whole superhero thing. Um, why don't you open the present that Loki got you, sweetie?" Jane interjected, redirecting Thor's attention to the gift bag resting on his lap.

Thor nodded, pulling the issue paper out of the bag and peering down at the gift lying inside.

"What is it?" Jane asked, trying to get a better look at the gift.

"It is a hammer." Thor replied with a wide smile, reaching into the bag to pull out a small hammer with a pink base.

Tabby looked at Loki in surprise. She had trusted her boyfriend when he had informed her that he could handle the responsibility of getting his younger brother's Christmas present and he had gotten him a _pink hammer. _Worse than that, his brother either _really _liked pink hammers, or he was way too good at pretending to like terrible Christmas presents.

"My brother loves hammers." Loki smirked, watching Thor in amusement as he proudly showed the hammer to Jane, Darcy and Eric.

"Thank you for this most generous gift, brother." Thor boomed, setting the hammer down gingerly before standing up and approaching Loki with outstretched arms.

Before Loki could refuse his brother's display of affection, Thor scooped him up off the couch, pulling him into a crushing hug.

"You are most welcome." Loki choked out, patting Thor's back in the hopes of being released from the tight hug.

"Oh, Tabby, it looks like you still have a present left." Darcy observed as Thor returned to his seat, picking up his hammer to better examine it.

"I know. I was saving my present from Loki for last. That way if he got me some kind of torture device or something he secretly wanted to buy for himself, you could all shame him into buying me a real present." Tabby laughed, starting to tear the paper away from the box on her lap.

Loki rolled his eyes, shaking his head at his girlfriend's lack of trust.

Jane and Darcy 'ooh'-ed when Tabby pulled a black jewelry box out of the remnants of the wrapping paper.

Tabby's eyes flicked around the room and met Loki's briefly before she opened the box.

Inhaling sharply, Tabby removed an emerald necklace from the box, staring at Loki with wide eyes.

"Holy shit, is that real?" Darcy demanded instantaneously.

Jane didn't even bother reprimanding Darcy for her comment as she stared at the necklace in Tabby's shaking hands. Thor had given her a coffee pot, because he knew that she liked drinking coffee in the morning. Meanwhile, Loki, who had been dating Tabby for maybe three months, had gotten his girlfriend a necklace that looked like it belonged in a museum. This was not fair.

Loki glanced at Darcy in amusement before returning his gaze to the awe-struck Tabby.

"Yes, each and every jewel on the necklace is an authentic, hand-set emerald. The stones reminded me of your eyes." He responded, gesturing towards the necklace as a silent offer to put the necklace on Tabby.

Tabby handed the necklace to him, staring at him in surprise.

"Wow, Loki, that was really nice of you." Jane finally said, forcing herself to smile.

Loki simply smirked at Tabby, ignoring Jane and Darcy as they began to chat about where they had seen similar pieces of jewelry throughout their lives.

Selecting the necklace appeared to be the correct move. Tabby's eyes were shining, her peers seemed very impressed and most importantly, not even Thor could attract Tabby's attention away.

Maybe he liked this Christmas holiday after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

"There you are, Tropical Thunder, I thought you'd bailed on us to elope with your girlfriend. So, how was Christmas with the family? Did anyone try to enslave an entire population, or did you guys just decide to keep things kind of low-key this year?" Tony Stark questioned as Thor walked into the conference room at S.H.I.E.L.D.

"It was a most pleasant celebration." Thor responded, sitting down next to Steve Rodgers, who was eying him curiously.

"Were you able to keep your identity hidden?" Nick Fury demanded from the head of the table.

"Yes, Tabby Baker was under the impression that I am a politician named Donald Odinson. Why must I lie to my brother's companion? I do not believe she poses a threat." Thor answered, his eyebrows furrowing.

"On a scale of one to ten, how stupid _is _this girl? She lives about an hour away from New York, is dating Loki, who I'm positive isn't trying to be subtle about his past and for god's sake, Thor is a pretty recognizable guy." Tony stated, gesturing towards Thor, who looked taken aback.

"Jane Foster restyled my hair." Thor objected.

"Oh, for fuck's sake." Tony muttered, rolling his eyes as he leaned back in the chair.

"So just to clarify, Thor, Tabby doesn't know anything about S.H.I.E.L.D.? She didn't say a word about the Avengers while you were in her presence?" Fury questioned, ignoring the exasperated Tony Stark.

"She did get my brother a most curious gift. It appeared to be each of us, although we were all smaller. We were also in a box. She said it was some sort of toy."

"You mean, like action figures?" Bruce Banner asked, removing his glasses as he stared at Thor in surprise.

Thor nodded, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Tabby Baker spoke of reenacting the battle and allowing the villain to win. She did not seem to exhibit any knowledge of who the villain was, however." He explained.

"Then why would she get him the action figures? I'm pretty sure Loki doesn't have Captain America posters hung up in his room." Natasha Romanoff reasoned.

"She spoke of a conversation they had in October. I do not know what about. I believe she is unaware of Loki's past, as well as my current occupation. Jane believes similarly."

"I think we should investigate this a little further. Is there any way we could find out what she knows? Anyone we could talk to? Could Jane ask her about it?" Steve asked.

"Good thinking, Captain. Thor, I want you to speak to Jane. See if she can meet with Tabby Baker for lunch, or however the hell these girls communicate, and find out just what Tabby knows about the Avengers." Fury instructed.

"And what if it turns out that she knows everything about us? What then? Do we just kidnap some girl because she knows too much?" Bruce questioned, glancing around at the rest of the Avengers to gauge their reactions to the situation.

"She would be a threat internationally." Natasha reminded him.

"We'll decide what to do when we figure out just how much she knows. Until then, we are to proceed as we always do." Fury growled, sliding files to each of the Avengers before striding out of the room.

"So, Rapunzel, tell us a little bit more about Christmas with your big bro. Did he get anyone any Christmas presents? I can't really picture Reindeer Games going Christmas shopping." Tony asked, leaning back in his chair as the rest of the group sifted through the files they were given.

"My brother presented a hammer to me. It was a very welcomed gesture. He gave Jane Foster a book that she seemed pleased with. He gifted Eric Selvig with a gift certificate to what I understand is called a 'spa' and he gave Darcy Lewis a Taser."

"Did he get his girlfriend anything?" Bruce questioned curiously.

"Yes, he purchased a very expensive emerald necklace for Tabby. She seemed quite pleased with his selection."

"Better than getting her a slave or some alien weapon." Clint Barton reasoned, glancing at Natasha to gauge her reaction to Thor's response.

Natasha shrugged, nodding her head.

"I must go speak with Jane about Tabby Baker's knowledge regarding each of us. Good day, friends." Thor boomed, nodding towards the Avengers before heading out of the room.

Tony Stark watched the god of thunder's departure before speaking up.

"Does anyone else think that this Tabby Baker chick is going to be a very bad thing in the making?" He asked, glancing around at the rest of his colleagues curiously.

Each of the Avengers raised their hands, each of them wearing a frown.

"Right. Just making sure we're all on the same page here. I'll see you all when it's time to fight the diva and his little Tabby cat."

* * *

"Hey, Tabby, sorry about the short notice, the department chair just decided to cancel office hours for the day and I thought I would ask if you wanted to join me for lunch, especially after what a nice time we all had on Christmas Eve." Jane Foster said, forcing herself to smile at an unsuspecting Tabby, who was happily devouring her pasta salad.

"Don't even worry about it, I've been trying to focus on my winter semester class, but it's hard to care when you only have one course in your schedule." Tabby responded, waving off Jane's apology with a wide smile.

Jane bit her lip as she stared down at her sandwich nervously.

She hated that S.H.I.E.L.D. was making her spy on Tabby. Loki was the one that had wreaked havoc in New York, not Tabby. She hadn't even been in the country when the crisis was unfolding. She didn't even have a fair warning that she was being monitored so closely.

"Right. Hey, so, that was a really beautiful necklace that Loki got you."

"Oh, my god, I know, can you believe he did that? He's always so obnoxious, I thought that he would give me a cookbook or maybe clothes that he found 'less offensive'. I think he secretly really liked Christmas. He insisted on getting everyone's presents. I even caught him playing with his little action figures the next morning when he thought I was still asleep."

Jane smiled at the laughing Tabby, still feeling guilty about having to spy on her. She was just a normal girl who was blissfully unaware that her boyfriend was a war criminal.

"Yeah, why did you get him that play set? I can't really see Loki as the superhero type."

Tabby laughed, shaking her head.

"Oh, definitely not, if anything, he's the bad guy. We just had this conversation on Halloween; he saw these kids running around dressed like the Avengers, said something about how he didn't really like them and felt bad for the bad guy. So, when I saw the whole play set in the toy store that included the bad guy, I thought it would be cute to see him sitting in the living room pretending to rule the world as the bad guy." She explained, still laughing.

Jane smiled, nodding her head in relief.

Not even Nick Fury could misconstrue Tabby's reason for buying Loki the Avenger's action figures; it just wasn't possible.

"That's so funny. All this time I thought that Loki was this warped, condescending guy, but somehow, you've actually turned him into a real person. I'm so glad that he's got you." Jane sighed, unable to resist smiling.

Tabby rolled her eyes, giggling slightly.

"No way, he's always been a sweetheart, he's just afraid to show people. I don't know what kind of family issues he's had – it would be hypocritical of me to be pushy about the whole 'talk about your past' thing – but I'm pretty sure he's terrified of being himself. It took him _weeks _and a whole lot of sex just for him to call me 'darling' without denying that he likes me."

Jane nodded, smiling as Tabby returned her focus to her pasta salad.

"Well, I'm really glad you've made him comfortable enough to be himself. I think I like this new Loki."

Tabby smiled, nodding to herself.

"You know, I think that I do too."

* * *

"Have you spoken to Tabby Baker, Miss Foster?" Nick Fury growled from the head of the conference table, his back turned to the Avengers, plus Jane Foster, who were all gathered around the table.

All eyes focused on the squirming Jane.

"Um, yeah, we talked about it. Apparently Loki saw some kids dressed up like Tony, Cap and um…the 'big guy' when they were at a fair on Halloween and Tabby mistook his curiosity for interest. He explained to her that he was rooting for the bad guy – without actually telling her who the bad guy was – and she decided to buy him a few action figures so he could let himself win against these guys. Apparently she doesn't know a whole lot about what happened in New York. She was studying abroad and we'd all be lying if we said that the news coverage of the whole thing was unbiased. She knows about as much about everything as your average eight year-old would." Jane explained slowly.

"So this girl is completely oblivious to everything that happened at New York? She's dating the war criminal and has no idea what even happened during the war?" Barton asked, smirking at Tony Stark, who chuckled.

"I'm having a real hard time believing that _Loki, _the biggest pre-Madonna since Madonna herself, didn't tell his girlfriend just how great he thought he is." Tony agreed, staring at Jane cynically.

"I have seen the proof myself. Tabby Baker does not understand my brother's past. It is good for Loki to have a new start with a woman." Thor stated, folding his arms across his chest.

"I don't care what is and isn't good for Loki, I care about the good of mankind. Now, Miss Foster, is Tabby Baker a threat to us?" Nick Fury interrupted, turning around to face the group at the table.

"Definitely not; if anything, she's making Loki _nicer. _I mean yeah, she's gotten into trouble like every college kid, but she's such a sweetheart. I would trust her with my own life." Jane responded.

Fury smirked before nodding his head, not meeting Jane's eyes.

"Luckily, it won't come down to that. Barton, I want you to see if we can keep our eye on Ms. Baker without getting too close. Don't try getting too close to Loki; I'm sure she'll be easier to watch than him." The director instructed, nodding towards Barton, who quickly sat up in his chair, focusing on the task he was being given.

"Y'know, Director, spying on civilians is generally _not _an excellent way to calm things down. If Loki finds out that you're spying on his girl - "

"Stark is right, Nick, I don't think we should be spying on this girl. She hasn't done anything wrong and Jane said it herself, she probably won't do anything wrong in the future." Bruce interrupted, staring at Fury with furrowed eyebrows and a pen resting on his bottom lip.

"Boys, don't be so naïve. Loki isn't going to do a bunch of little things that would raise our suspicion. If he's going to make a play, it's going to be one very big play and it's going to be through someone that we wouldn't suspect." Natasha argued, rolling her eyes.

"And you think that if he was going to act through someone we wouldn't suspect, he would go around introducing his sidekick to Thor and Jane as his girlfriend?" Tony asked, raising his eyebrows as he gave Natasha the most condescending stare he could muster.

"I don't think we should be ruling anybody out yet." Natasha responded coolly.

"Tabby Baker is under my protection. I do not condone any spying or tampering with her until she has proven herself unworthy of my protection. I will not stand for her to be treated as a criminal." Thor thundered, standing up out of his chair and glowering at Fury.

"We're not acting on anything yet. We're just keeping an eye on her, making sure that Loki isn't manipulating her." Fury reminded Thor, eying him cautiously.

Thor glowered at Fury, but didn't say a word.

Nodding towards the door, Fury made to exit the room with Barton at his heels.

"I don't know about you guys, but I really want to meet this girl." Tony commented as soon as the doors closed behind the two men.

Thor looked at Tony curiously while Natasha, Steve and Bruce rolled their eyes in unison.

"I think that would be the worst idea in the world." Bruce replied with an amused smile.

"Let's just focus on keeping up with her files and making sure that Loki is doing what he's supposed to." Steve murmured, shaking his head as he stared down at the file in front of him.

"Guys, I wouldn't worry about Loki and Tabby even a little bit. He's made straight A's this semester. He'll probably be in Asgard by the end of next semester. And Tabby, oh my goodness Tabby is changing him for the better. He's smiling more and he even spoke to Thor without saying anything about Odin, or ruling over people. As far as I'm concerned, he's a completely different person." Jane asserted with a wide smile.

Natasha rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.

"Yeah, I'm not banking on that. People don't change, Miss Foster, no matter how bad you want them to."


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

"Loki, I don't have time for this, where are my keys?"

Loki smiled as he watched Tabby running throughout the rooms of her house, accompanied by her two dogs following her every move with wagging tails.

Loki had since moved into Tabby's house; he still kept his apartment, in order to keep S.H.I.E.L.D. from raising any eyebrows, but he spent all of his free time at the mortal girl's residence. It had been six months since Tabby informed Loki that he was her boyfriend; six months since the horrifying evening when he had first referred to her as 'my darling'. Five months since Tabby forced him to endure the holiday she referred to as 'Thanksgiving'. Four months since Christmas, when he was forced to make the acquaintance of Thor and Eric Selvig for the first time since the episode in New York. More importantly, it had been four months since he had seen Tabby's eyes light up at the sight of the emerald necklace and had not been able to stop thinking about it since.

Since then, the relationship had accelerated. Tabby accepted it without any teasing or questioning, understanding that the development in their relationship was alarming enough for Loki without her rubbing his nose in it.

Instead, she had quietly observed the changes, doing her best to encourage him at any opportunity she got.

Now, however, she was beginning to wish that she hadn't done so.

"I'm sorry, darling. I haven't the slightest idea where your keys are."

"Ugh, come on, you always do this. I have to meet my partner in ten minutes at the library. Can you at least give me a hint?"

Loki shrugged with a smirk.

Tabby rolled her eyes, stomping into the living room where Loki was lounging.

"Come on, Loki, I really need to go. Do you want me to fail out of this class and become a hobo? Do you want an uneducated girlfriend?"

"It might be a refreshing change. Would she be quite as difficult?"

"This isn't funny."

"And you're doing a fine job of not laughing."

Tabby bit her lip to hide her smile, setting her hands on her hips.

"Is there something you want, or are you just being an ass for fun?"

"God of Mischief." Loki reminded her, sliding her keys from his shirt sleeve into his hand and jingling them in amusement.

Tabby rolled her eyes, snatching the keys from his hand quickly.

"Sometimes I wish your parents had named you after the God of Helpfulness or the God of Not Being an Ass."

"I'm not named after anyone. I am the God of Mischief." Loki responded automatically.

Tabby still didn't seem to understand who she was dealing with. She continued to assume that he was just another mortal man, instead of the God that he was. Loki had learned to accept her ignorance; she was, after all, just a silly little girl. Jane Foster's lies about Thor's true identity did not help Tabby's perception of Loki's true heritage any, either.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll see you in a few hours, God of Mischief. Ugh, I'm already so late. Wes is going to flip all shits." She murmured as she wandered towards the front door.

Loki's ears perked up.

She was meeting _Wes _at the library? The same Wes who had made many efforts at fueling a romantic relationship with her? The same Wes who had defied Loki at every chance he was given?

Well, that simply wouldn't do.

With a sigh, Loki stood up out of his chair, striding towards the front door slowly. He grabbed his coat off of the hook by the door and exited the house with a look of determination plastered on his face.

* * *

"Hey, Wes, sorry I'm late." Tabby breathed as she hurried to the table in the back of the library.

"Let me guess, Loki held you up again?"

"Um, why don't we just focus on the project instead of getting into this argument for the hundredth time? I found some really great sources that would help with the whole presentation. There was this one really great graph in particular. Hang on. Let me pull up the source on my phone, so I can email it to you."

"I just don't understand why you're with a guy like that."

Tabby sighed, her shoulders sinking as she met Wes' eyes.

"Or we could just jump right into this argument again, either way. Look, Wes, you're a really awesome guy, but you're just not the right type of guy for me. I need someone who can challenge me, someone who's not afraid of getting on my nerves sometimes, and trust me, Loki is definitely that someone. You'll find someone else, I wouldn't sweat it. I'm a nut job, anyway. You really dodged a bullet."

"This isn't about me. I just don't think he treats you very nicely. Sometimes I think that you're just with him because he can give you things like that necklace." Wes muttered, gesturing towards the emerald necklace hanging from Tabby's neck.

Tabby raised her eyebrows at him, an amused smile playing on her lips against her will.

"What has Loki ever done to make you think he doesn't treat me nicely?"

"He just looks at you like you're, I don't know, a piece of meat, instead of an actual person."

Tabby couldn't help but laugh.

"You've only hung out with us like, once or twice, and one of those times I was in a slutty dress and I was throwing myself at him. You can't judge him off of that."

Wes sighed, leaning forward in his seat.

"You've also changed since you met him. You don't come out with us as much. You hardly ever eat with us in the dining hall. You're always with Loki, or that hot physics professor."

"That's because I'm in an actual committed relationship. When I wasn't dating Loki, I went out with you guys so I could look for someone to hook up with; you guys were either my wingmen or my bodyguards. Now that I have Loki, I don't really need to worry about finding someone to hook up with. Besides, Loki and Jane are really fun to hang out with. You should try hanging out with us sometime, instead of waiting to pick a fight with me in the library."

"Whatever, I just think it's a damn shame that you're settling for someone so fast."

Tabby's eyes narrowed.

"Wes, I've spent my entire life getting abandoned by men. My dad left when I was six, a year after my mom went to rehab. My Uncle, who I was stuck with afterwards, left me with my grandma when I was eight. I started dating when I was eleven and I've never had a relationship that lasted longer than two months. Then I met Loki and he's this great guy who actually cares about me. He's the only guy in the world that I can count on, and you're telling me that I'm settling? No, I'm not settling, I'm just appreciating what I have, because I know what it's like to not have anyone. Now, can we please do the project, or am I going to have to stab you with this pen to get you to leave me alone about my boyfriend?"

Wes stared down at the table, avoiding Tabby's harsh gaze.

"I'm sorry, I…"

"No, just forget it. Actually, I…uh…I left some of my sources at my place, so I'm going to pull a few books off of the shelf. I'll be right back."

Tabby quickly jumped out of her seat and marched towards the towering shelves, wiping her eyes quickly as she did so.

* * *

Loki watched Tabby scurry towards the bookshelves from the table he had been sitting at, his eyebrows knitted together as he thought about the conversation he had just overheard.

Tabby had never discussed her family or her upbringing with Loki; she had never expressed much interest in talking about family backgrounds and Loki was not keen to talk about Odin or Thor with her in the near future.

Still, the conversation had been very revealing, more so than any conversation he had personally had with Tabby.

She had been vulnerable, honest and direct about her feelings as well as her weaknesses and concerns. She had essentially handed Wes an instruction manual on how to properly destroy her emotionally and did not seem to hesitate for one moment in the process. Now, of course, she was realizing the grave error she had made, but it was too late.

Loki rested his chin on his hand as he observed her walking through the stacks of books.

Tabby Baker _relied _on him. She _needed _him. He had succeeded in making her completely dependent on him. She did not have any tricks up her sleeve. Instead she was burning all of the bridges that would be wise to keep around, in the event that Loki decided to abandon her. She was completely at Loki's disposal; a thought that both terrified and pleased him.

Standing up, Loki strode towards the aisle of books that Tabby was currently meandering through, not caring how conspicuous he was or was not behaving.

He quietly stopped behind her, watching her as she looked through the shelf of books carefully, observing the amount of care she used while running her fingers along the spines of the books.

Feeling his eyes boring into her back, Tabby turned around quickly, her eyes widening in surprise.

As a smirk stretched across Loki's face, the library went pitch black.

"Aw, come on!" The students whined in unison, frustrated at the unexpected power outage.

Loki took a step towards Tabby, who leaned against the book shelf behind her for support.

"You know, there's a backup generator. They'll probably have the lights on in like, five minutes, and I'm pretty sure students have gotten kicked out of the library for indecent exposure before. I don't really think that would look too good on a resume." Tabby whispered as Loki's lips found her neck.

Loki smiled against the soft flesh of her neck.

"Don't you worry about the generator, my silly little girl. It is not a pressing threat." He responded softly.

"Hey, are we going to get the lights on, or what?" A male's angry voice hollered roughly from the other side of the library.

"The generator isn't working. We're calling the campus police right now to figure out what to do." A librarian called back in frustration.

"How did you…?" Tabby whispered as Loki leaned against her.

"God of Mischief, remember?" he muttered quietly, brushing his lips against hers.

* * *

When the lights finally flickered back on, Tabby was sitting on the floor, propped up against the bookshelf behind her with a satisfied smirk overtaking her face.

Loki was nowhere to be seen; something that didn't surprise her at all. He was always disappearing without saying a word, or giving any indication that he intended on leaving. Sometimes, it was almost as if he just magically vanished on the spot.

"Hey, Tab, are you alright? I mean, I tried to find you when the power went out, but it was too dark and the librarians kept telling everyone to stay where they were." She heard Wes' voice say from the other side of the isle.

She looked at him in surprise.

"What? Oh, yeah, um, I was reaching for a book when the lights went out and I guess I fell pretty hard. Um, would you mind if I just emailed you the half of my paper? I'll make the slideshow if you really want, but I think I should probably get back home to take some Advil."

Wes' eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Are you okay? Do you want me to take you home? You don't look so good."

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"I'll be fine. You don't need to worry about me. I just wanted to make sure you were cool with me taking off before you totally screwed me over on the peer evaluations."

"Yeah, no, of course, go home if you need to. Uh, just email me your part of the paper tonight so I can throw it together. I could always come over to work on the slideshow tomorrow, if you want."

Tabby bit her lip.

Loki and Wes didn't exactly get along, so inviting Wes over to work on a project probably wouldn't go over too well with Loki. Of course, he had classes on Wednesdays, which meant that she could probably work around his schedule, making sure that Wes was over when Loki wouldn't be around to pick any fights.

"Yeah, I'll email you about a good time for you to come over when I send you my paper. Um, do you mind giving me a hand? I guess I banged up my leg pretty good when I fell." She said with a smile, outstretching her hands towards Wes hopefully.

Wes smiled back at her, grabbing her hand and pulling her up.

"Take your time. The project isn't due until next month." He replied gently.

"Thanks, you're a life saver. I'll see you tomorrow."

Wes nodded, still smiling, as Tabby turned and stumbled towards the door.

With a smile, Tabby slid into her car, unable to stop thinking about her asshole of a boyfriend.

Loki was the perfect paradox. He was unpredictable, but Tabby knew that she could count on him when she really needed him. He might show up at the library when she was supposed to be doing her group work, but if she begged him to participate in an impromptu Thanksgiving, he would grin and bear it without too much complaining.

The stubborn fucker wouldn't admit it, but he cared about her.

As much as Tabby hated to admit it to herself, she cared about him too.

* * *

"You're home early." Loki observed as Tabby walked through the front door, smirking at her as she entered into the living room.

Tabby smiled as she looked back at him.

Both Marie and Louis were lounging on the couch with Loki as he flipped through one of his textbooks. As much as he complained about her two large dogs, he seemed to love them just as much as she did, just in his own way. He would slip them treats when he thought that she wasn't looking, he would allow them to lay with him when he was reading, and he would scold Louis when he was being a jerk to Marie, which happened fairly often.

"Yeah, you know, some asshole decided to interrupt my meeting at the library and I guess I just lost all motivation to do schoolwork afterwards. So, you three look cozy. Are you still going to argue that you're not a dog person?" She teased, plopping down on the couch next to him.

Loki smirked at her.

"I cannot help that your dogs are drawn to me. Many creatures desire my presence. You should know this, as you are one of those creatures."

Tabby shrugged, also smiling.

"Maybe or maybe you're just some guy who refuses to leave my house because he can't bear the thought of being away from me for more than an hour or two."

"Would you like for me to leave?" Loki questioned, raising his eyebrows as he continued to smirk.

Tabby returned the smirk, meeting Loki's gaze evenly.

So he was going to make this a battle of wills. Alright, if he wanted to have a battle of wills, he was going to get a battle of wills.

"I'm not going to beg you to stay."

Loki raised his eyebrows.

"You beg me to stay and protect you every evening during your night terrors, if my memory serves me as valiantly as I believe it does. What will you do at night when there's no one to protect you?"

Tabby frowned.

"I managed without you for years. I think I could probably survive without you."

"Is that so?" Loki challenged, looking thoroughly amused.

"That is so."

"Very well, I will sleep in the guest room this evening."

"Fine."

Loki nodded, returning his eyes to his textbook, a satisfied smirk still plastered to his smug face.

Tabby watched him reading for a few minutes before rolling her eyes and striding out of the room, contemplating visiting Jane Foster, since Loki was being such a difficult pain in the ass.

Jane had been able to help Tabby through a lot of issues with Loki. She had explained that Loki was brought up in some foreign country, which explained a lot of strange things about him a little better, as well as explaining that Loki had been through hell and back because of his dad, causing him to become so difficult. Tabby could certainly understand that.

Jane was probably busy, though. It was the end of April; finals were just around the corner and Tabby had heard that Jane's physics class was nearly impossible. Her students would undoubtedly be storming her office for the next few weeks.

Sighing slightly, Tabby entered the kitchen, where her laptop was lying on the table.

Like Jane's frenzied students, Tabby knew that she should probably start studying for her finals. She had all B's this semester; something she wasn't particularly proud of. If she did poorly on her finals, she would drop to having C's, something that would not translate well on her GPA.

She would worry about Loki later. For the time being, she really needed to focus on just who the hell won that battle in the Polynesian War.

* * *

"I'll give you one last chance to admit how heavily you rely on me." Loki jested, leaning against the door frame of Tabby's bedroom as she crawled into her bed.

She smirked back at him.

"Not a chance. Go on, I think the spare bedroom is calling your name."

"Very well. Goodnight, my darling."

"Nighty night, Loki."

Loki smiled at her for a moment before continuing to the spare bedroom.

He was unbothered by her challenge. He did not mind sleeping in his own bed, without Tabby taking over the majority of the space. He did not mind sleeping on a pillow that wasn't coated in his girlfriend's thick, dark hair. He certainly did not mind sleeping through the night without being awoken to another one of Tabby's night terrors.

All of that was assuming, of course, that Tabby would not cave and beg for him to return to her bedroom, which she very likely would.

Smirking to himself, Loki slid into the bed in the guest room, picking his book up off of the side table.

After attempting to read a chapter of the ridiculous book one of his professors had assigned, Loki fell asleep, the book lying across his chest.

Some things were just too absurd for a god to endure.

A few hours later, he awoke with a start, hearing an all-too familiar noise.

With a sigh, he rolled out of bed and trudged down the hall, throwing open the door to Tabby's bedroom and sliding into bed with the panicked girl.

"There, there, darling, there is no reason for fear. You are very far out of harm's way." He assured her softly, gathering her in his arms carefully.

"I don't want them to get me." Tabby whimpered.

"I have told you countless times, my silly little girl, no one will harm you. If any being so much as considered harming you, I would make them suffer a very long and excruciating death."

Tabby nodded against his chest, sniffling miserably.

Loki stroked her hair, staring down at her intently, waiting for her to either request more comforting sentiment, or hopefully simply fall back to sleep.

"I love you." She murmured against his chest, her body beginning to go limp as she drifted off.

Loki's eyebrows shot up.

That was certainly unexpected.

He stared down at Tabby in confusion as she quickly sank into a heavy sleep, seemingly oblivious to the impact she had just had on Loki.

Careful not to disturb the sleeping girl, Loki slowly lifted her body off of his chest, placing her head on her pillow gently. Once he had removed the sleeping girl from himself, he slid out of the bed and returned to the guest bedroom, where he sank back into his own bed, a look of confusion still etched on his face.

Tabby loved him. She _loved _him. Worse than that, she had openly admitted it. She had not simply spoken to a peer about it. She had said it directly to his face.

He let out a frustrated sigh.

When he had first met Tabby, this was exactly what he had desired. He had wanted the girl to need him, to rely on him, to submit to him openly. He had wanted to force her to lean on him heavily, so he could step back and watch her fall to his feet.

Now that she had leaned on him, the thought of walking away made him sick to his stomach. He wanted to protect her from things that would make her cry, instead of causing her to cry himself. He couldn't stand the thought of Tabby crying out in the middle of the night without being there himself to comfort her.

"The woman has ruined me." He declared miserably.

* * *

"Hey Loki, listen, this really isn't a great time, I'm swamped with meetings for the next few weeks. Any chance this can wait until the weekend?"

Loki sank into one of the chairs in Jane's office, staring at his brother's girlfriend tiredly.

"I'm afraid it's a very pressing matter. Please," he responded, gesturing for Jane to sit down.

Jane's eyebrows furrowed as she slowly sat down at her desk chair.

She had never seen Loki so subdued. There was no hint of a smile playing on his lips. She couldn't hear the smirk in his voice when he spoke. There wasn't even a hint of the mischievous glimmer that was usually in his eyes. His posture wasn't as rigid as it usually was. Something was definitely very, _very _wrong.

"Um, sure, okay, what's up?"

Loki fidgeted in his seat.

"What is love like?"

Jane's jaw dropped in surprise.

"Are you in love with Tabby?" She asked, unable to hide the shocked tone in her voice.

Loki's eyes flicked up to meet hers.

"I am not entirely sure. That is why I am consulting you."

Jane nodded, chewing her upper lip.

"Right, um, so you wanted to know what love is like then?"

"Correct."

"Uh, I don't think there's really ever been one definition of it, exactly. It's like…even when they're being totally impossible, you would share your last piece of candy with them," Jane shrugged sheepishly, "that's really the only way I know how to explain it."

Loki nodded, his eyebrows scrunched together.

"Please, let me see if I understand what you are trying to tell me. Are you saying that being willing to sacrifice things is a sign of love?"

Jane shrugged again.

"Kinda, I guess. Why don't you just tell me why you think you're in love with Tabby? That might be easier than trying to give you an explanation of what love is."

"Yes, that would be much simpler. I have been courting Tabby Baker for six and a half months now and I believed that once she made herself vulnerable and submitted herself entirely to me, I would leave and crush her spirits. However, she confessed that she loved me last evening and I no longer have any desire to hurt her."

"Loki, that's terrible!"

"I know," Loki moaned, "I am falling victim to the emotions that govern Midguardians. I have never had this problem before."

"It's not terrible that you can't dump Tabby, it's terrible that you started dating her just so that you could hurt her."

Loki looked at Jane in surprise.

"You do realize who you're speaking to, do you not?"

Jane rolled her eyes.

"It's pretty terrible even for you."

"I take that as a compliment."

"Let's just focus on what you came in to talk to me about. So, you think that you're in love with Tabby. Why are you so upset about it? Being in love is really great. I think you could really enjoy yourself."

Loki's eyes narrowed.

"I do not wish to be in love. Love makes its victims bow down, it makes them weak, yet they still reach out for more. I have seen the effects it has had on my brother. Love has ruined him."

"You know, I'm pretty sure I should be offended by that."

Loki rolled his eyes.

"I did not say that _you _have ruined Thor, I said that _love _has ruined Thor. Prior to meeting you, Miss Foster, my brother was on the path to becoming king of Asgard. He was a noted warrior who would gladly bash in the skull of any of his inferior opponents. Now, he is already speaking of refusing the throne and hesitates before beginning any sort of violent excursion. Did you know that he stopped me from destroying a civilization that he wanted to wage war on before his visit to Midguard?"

"It sounds to me like he's become a better person." Jane sniffed.

Loki laughed.

"I did not come to quarrel with you over my brother, Jane. His lost interest in the throne has done nothing but benefit me. I have simply come to ask for your advice. I knew that you would have much more experience on the subject matter."

"Look, Loki, I appreciate that you're talking to me about this, but I don't really know what to tell you. You're in love with Tabby and I think that's great. Why don't you just give being in love a try? Maybe it'll be good for you."

"You're suggesting that I become a slave to my emotions?"

"Well, yeah."

Loki frowned.

"Thank you for your consultation." He muttered, standing up quickly.

"Anytime." Jane responded cautiously.

Loki nodded to her curtly before storming out of her office.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Loki entered Tabby's house to find her sitting about a foot away from her television, grasping a forgotten bowl of soup in her hands as she stared at the television screen with wide eyes and a gaping mouth.

Smiling to himself, he set his coat on the hanger by the door before entering the living room and sitting down on the couch, unnoticed by an incredibly focused Tabby.

She was watching a documentary on Caligula, from the looks of it, and a very inaccurate one, at that.

As one of the 'historians' featured in the documentary listed off incorrect facts about the Roman emperor, Loki snorted, snapping Tabby's attention back to reality.

"Oh, hey, where did you go? I woke up this morning and couldn't find you anywhere. I thought that you had gone back to your apartment for the night." She said, smiling as she set the bowl down and joined Loki on the couch.

Loki shook his head.

"No, I met with Jane, but only briefly."

"Oh, really? I wish you would have told me that you were going to see her, I've been too afraid to call her for the past few days. Apparently students are totally flocking around her office 24/7."

"She is very busy."

"Apparently not too busy to meet with her brother-in-law. So, what did you guys talk about? Was she giving you tips for surviving finals?"

"Something along those lines."

"Well, next time you decide to visit Jane without me, tell her that she needs to call me soon. I miss hanging out with her."

Loki nodded.

"I will be sure to do just that."

"Great. Oh, shit, um, I just realized that I'm running super late for my doctor's appointment. Would you mind feeding the dogs when they wake up?" Tabby questioned, glancing down at her watch with a startled expression.

"You're visiting a doctor? Are you ill?" Loki questioned in alarm, his eyes scanning every inch of her body for an indications of an illness.

Tabby laughed, waving off Loki's concern.

"Relax. I'm just feeling a little bit off and after throwing up everything I've eaten today, I figured I should probably get someone to check up on that before I stay sick forever and fail all of my finals."

"Why didn't you tell me that you were unwell?" Loki demanded.

"It's not like I'm _dying, _I probably just have the flu or something. I didn't realize that you would be so concerned about it. Don't tell me you actually care about your silly little girlfriend?" Tabby teased, kissing Loki's nose swiftly before jumping up off the couch and skipping towards the front door.

Loki turned to stare after her irritably.

"I would have extended you the courtesy of informing you of my illnesses."

"I'm sure you would have, and I'm sure that you would have been a total pain in the ass about the entire experience. I'll see you in an hour or two." She smiled as she slipped out the door, not paying any mind to Loki's concern.

Loki groaned, throwing his head back against the couch.

He shouldn't have been so concerned about Tabby. She clearly did not want him to worry about her. A few months ago, he would not have cared at all. A few months ago, he had not yet been violently assaulted by love.

With another loud groan, Loki jumped up off of the couch, grabbing his coat off of the hook roughly as he headed out the door, slamming it shut behind him.

* * *

"Well, Ms. Baker, you should have come to see me earlier. You have Mycoplasma pneumonia. We'll set you up with a course of antibiotics and you should be back to normal in about fourteen days. Do you have any questions?" The doctor asked, handing Tabby a sheet of paper with some illegible words scrawled on it.

Tabby glanced down at the paper before smiling up at the doctor.

"Nope, I think you've covered it all. Thanks, Doc."

"You're very welcome."

Tabby smiled once more before exiting the tiny room, checking her watch to see if the pharmacy would be open yet.

As she wandered towards the exit, she was surprised to see a familiar figure skulking near the exit, clearly making everyone else in the room extremely uncomfortable.

Loki noticed Tabby right away and strode over to her, an annoyed expression clearly written across his face.

"Hey, I told you that I would be home in an hour or two. Don't tell me, you set the house on fire trying to make breakfast for yourself?" She teased, taking Loki's hand in hers and leading him out of the doctor's office.

"Are you going to be all right?" He questioned, ignoring her playful grin.

Tabby rolled her eyes at him.

"I already told you that I would be. I just have pneumonia, it happens. The doctor wrote me a prescription for some medicine and I'll be good as new in fourteen days. Look at you, worrying about me. It's almost like you'd be sad if your girlfriend died."

Loki followed her to her car, unsmiling.

"You should have told me about your illness sooner."

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were so crazy about people being sick. I would promise to give you a heads-up next time, but then you might just stay in your apartment until I'm better. Now that you know I'm sick, you have to take care of me."

Loki raised his eyebrows at her.

"Take care of you?"

"Yeah, you know, make me soup, buy me ice cream and movies, cuddle with me because I'm a miserable sack of bones, try to stop me from drowning my miseries with a bottle of vodka, the usual. Don't tell me that you've never taken care of someone when they're sick before."

"I cannot say that I have."

"Then you're in for a whole lot of fun." Tabby laughed, starting the car up.

Loki looked at her curiously as she stepped on the gas pedal, a smile still stretched across her face.

* * *

Loki had never taken care of an ill person before, but he was sure that there could not be a more demanding mortal than Tabby.

At her request, Loki had taken care of the dogs for days, had made mediocre meals thrice a day, had cleaned the apartment, which he suspected had been filthy for longer than Tabby was letting on, and had sat through dreadful films that seemed to do nothing but make Tabby cry and wail "they love each other" every other minute.

Of course, at the end of each of these unpleasant activities, Tabby would smile up at him with tired eyes and would whisper an exhausted "I love you", effectively silencing any complaints that might have been running through Loki's mind at that moment.

The girl was much better at manipulation than he had given her credit for.

"Loki?"

Loki's shoulders slumped at the pathetic sound that had become the bane of his existence.

"Yes, my darling?" He answered, repressing a sigh as he entered the bedroom, where Tabby was sprawled across the bed with the dogs.

Tabby looked up at him with her big green eyes, mustering a small smile that made Loki's heart sink.

She was going to ask him to do something she knew to be unpleasant. Fantastic.

"Do you know what would make me really happy right now?"

"I cannot even imagine."

"I would _love _some broccoli cheddar soup from Panera."

"We have soup in the pantry. Would you like me to make you some?"

"I really want it from Panera."

"It's one o'clock. It will take me a minimum of thirty minutes to get you soup."

"Pretty please?"

Loki stared down at her in annoyance.

"I have classes to study for."

"I'm too sick to get it myself, otherwise I would."

With a sigh, Loki rolled his eyes, knowing that arguing with her was useless. She would get her way. She always did.

"You requested broccoli cheddar soup, correct?"

Tabby smiled.

"You're the best. I love you, and not just because you're bringing me soup, though that does help."

"You do understand that the combination of ingredients suggested in the name sounds repulsive, don't you?"

"What, you've never had their broccoli cheddar soup before?"

Loki stared back at her blankly.

"Hey, you know what, more for me. Can you please hurry? I'm starving and my throat has been killing me all day." Tabby urged with a small smile.

"I will try to have the soup to you in an hour's time." Loki mumbled, skulking out of the room.

Grabbing his wallet on the way out of the apartment, Loki walked down a few blocks to Panera, where a flock of hungry students had already accumulated.

As he stood in line, stewing in his own annoyance, Jane Foster approached him with a wide smile.

"Loki, hey, what are you doing here? Where's Tabby? Is she meeting you here for lunch? I feel like I haven't eaten with you two in ages! How are things going? Did you ever tell her that you loved her?"

Loki glanced at his brother's romantic interest dully.

"Tabby has been ill for the past few days. She has demanded broccoli cheddar soup and has learned to manipulate me with an appalling amount of ease." He responded, returning his eyes back to Panera's large menu as Jane stared at him in surprise.

"Wow, it sounds like she's got you right under her thumb. Well, good for her. Maybe I should talk to her about it sometime. I could use some tips on how to get Thor to bring me a bowl of soup every once in a while." Jane laughed, not sensing Loki's annoyance.

Loki looked down at Jane in surprise.

"Thor does not perform similar favors for you?" He questioned, working to maintain a calm, collected exterior.

Jane raised her eyebrows, confused by Loki's surprise.

"No, not really, I mean, he's great and I totally appreciate him, but he's usually too busy saving the world to pick me up some soup. I'm lucky if he even joins me for lunch." She replied with a laugh, tucking a strand of brown hair behind her ear.

Loki nodded, not really listening to Jane's rambling.

Thor didn't even stoop to the levels that he had stooped to. Not even _Thor, _the idiotic oaf that had lectured him on the importance of love, had allowed himself to sink to the depths of fetching his romantic interest soup because she suddenly desired it.

Loki had sunken lower than Thor. He was no longer simply a slave to love; he was a slave to _Tabby. _He had lost the war, not the battle. She had won. She controlled him entirely, while still allowing him to think they were on equal playing fields by uttering the words "I love you" every so often.

This was unacceptable.

Something had to be done.

"It was nice speaking with you Jane, as always, but I'm afraid I must be on my way, now." He choked out, feeling his face flush as he backed away from Jane, nearly bumping into the group of students that had gathered behind him.

"What? I thought you were getting Tabby soup?" She reminded him, staring back at him like he was crazy.

Loki swallowed hard, shaking his head as he worked to regain his composure.

"I just realized that she requested the soup for dinner. I must leave now. I have a class to attend."

"Oh, okay, well, I'll see you later."

Loki stared back at her for a moment before exiting Panera, not bothering to look back at the confused Jane Foster he had left in his wake.

Staring straight ahead with a determined scowl, Loki returned to Tabby's house.

Throwing open the front door, he stomped upstairs towards Tabby's bedroom, not caring whether or not he caused the dogs to bark.

"Wow, that didn't take long at all! Oh, hey, where's the soup? Did you put it in the kitchen?" Tabby questioned with a smile, skipping out of her bedroom to meet Loki in the hallway.

Loki stared back at her, his eyebrows knitting together.

"I did not get you soup."

Tabby looked noticeably confused at his answer. She had grown so accustomed to always getting her way when it came to Loki that hearing 'no' sounded inexplicably foreign.

"Oh, was the line too long?" She asked in a small voice, intimidated by the dark look in his eyes.

"I am leaving." Loki stated coldly.

"Why? You don't have a class for another two hours."

"No, I am leaving this. I am leaving _you._ I am leaving your home, I am leaving Princeton and perhaps I am leaving Midguard."

Tabby's eyes widened as she came to understand just what Loki was saying.

"Is this about me asking you to take care of me when I'm sick? I didn't think you minded. I wasn't trying to be bitchy. Please, just tell me what's wrong. You don't have to leave. _Please _don't leave."

Loki averted his eyes as soon as he saw tears welling up in Tabby's bright eyes.

"I am sincerely sorry. Goodbye, Tabby Baker." He muttered, leaning down to kiss the wide-eyed girl's forehead as she worked to sputter out something, _anything_ to make him stay.

He turned on his heel, ignoring all of her pleas and calls as he walked towards the front door, determined to get as far away from the manipulative young woman as he was able to.

_She is dangerous, _he reminded himself as he walked out of the house, _she could destroy an entire civilization if she were given the chance._

Taking one last deep breath, Loki closed his eyes, escaping Midguard, and, more importantly, Tabby Baker.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

"Alright Fury, what the hell is it this time? It had better be real god damn important, because for the second time now, one of your agents interrupted me and Pepper at a very inconvenient time." Tony Stark growled as he sank into a chair next to Bruce Banner, who was looking around the room uncomfortably.

Nick Fury folded his arms across his chest, glowering at the Avengers sitting at the table in front of him.

"Loki has gone missing."

All of the Avengers immediately sat up; Clint Barton's jaw clenched, Natasha Romanoff glanced at Bruce nervously, Thor's muscles tensed, Bruce stared down at the paper in front of him, Tony's eyes widened and Steve Rodgers snatched his shield off of the table, as if he expected Loki to barge into the room at any minute.

"I had my brother's word that he would not leave Midguard until he did well in Jane Foster's school. Jane was looking after him. I spoke with him at Christmas. I believed all was well." Thor boomed; his eyebrows furrowing as he stared at Fury.

"I think your brother's word is shot to hell. We've had reports from all of his professors saying that he hasn't been to class in weeks, none of his established social connections have seen him and a young woman he was romantically linked to said that Loki explicitly stated that he had every intention of leaving Princeton as well as Midguard. Any other questions?"

"I'm sorry. Did you just say that Loki broke up with his girlfriend? _Loki _dumped someone?" Tony questioned, leaning back in his chair as he stared at Fury in a combination of amusement and shock.

Fury's good eye narrowed.

"We're bringing her in for questioning now. She might be useful to us when it comes to dealing with him."

"Have you spoken to Jane Foster? Is she still serving as an educator at Princeton?" Thor demanded, looking around the room.

"Whoa, whoa, let's backtrack for a minute. Did you just say that you want to use a college student as a bartering tool for Loki? Fury, I know that he's dangerous, but this doesn't sound right." Bruce interjected, scratching the back of his head as he looked at Fury cautiously.

Fury glared back at Bruce.

"Dr. Banner, the God of Mischief is running lose in one of the nine realms. Ethics are a luxury that we really don't have time for at the present moment. Thor, the last I heard, Jane was with agent Hill, giving us any information she had on Loki. Once we're through speaking with her, we'll let you know." He growled.

Bruce rubbed his eyes in frustration as Thor relaxed slightly.

"How long are we keeping the girl?" Natasha questioned, glancing at Bruce momentarily before setting her gaze on Fury.

Fury sighed, beginning to pace in front of the table.

"As long as it takes," he responded, not meeting Bruce's indignant stare.

Steve's eyebrows furrowed as he looked around the table, gauging everyone else's reactions before speaking up.

"Where are we keeping her, sir? With all due respect, this is a military establishment, not an apartment complex."

"We have already modified a room in the building that will serve as her living quarters for the time being. One of you will have to monitor her periodically to make sure she's not communicating with Loki."

Natasha scowled.

"Director Fury, when I joined S.H.I.E.L.D., I didn't sign up to be a babysitter." She hissed, raising her eyebrows at him expectantly.

Tony smirked at her before looking at Fury.

"Hey, I'll pick up her shifts if she doesn't want them. I don't mind watching a twenty-something year-old hang around an apartment. It's just like a reality show. I'll bet you _anything _she's hot, too. Loki might be, uh, how can I put this nicely, sort of _unfortunate _in the looks department, but with his ego, I doubt he would pick out a dog." He chuckled.

"If Thor picks up on you calling Loki ugly, you'll probably want to suit up." Bruce muttered to Tony, sliding Tony's arm bands closer to him subtly.

"Dare you insult the appearance of my brother? He may be adopted, but he was raised to groom himself as a proper Asgardian." Thor thundered, beginning to stand up.

"Yup, you're going to need to suit up." Bruce sighed in a strained voice.

"You might need to suit up with me, buddy." Tony agreed, not taking his eyes off of Thor.

"Dr. Banner, you might want to remove yourself from this stressful environment. Stark is particularly talented at causing trouble." Steve suggested, his eyes flicking between Bruce and Tony cautiously.

"It's okay Steve. I wouldn't be in the United States if I couldn't handle Tony. I'm pretty well-adjusted to his personality." Bruce assured him with a small smile.

"Yeah, Cap, Bruce here loves me." Tony agreed with a satisfied smirk, draping an arm over Bruce's shoulder.

"Stark, we must discuss your blatant disrespect for my family." Thor reminded Tony, folding his muscular arms across his broad chest.

"Right, yeah, I know, you guys are great and you all fart rainbows and shit. Now that we've settled that, Goldilocks, can we please get back to the issue at hand? Fury, tell us more about the shit storm we're about to enter."

Thor glowered at Tony, who was focused on Nick Fury.

"There are six infinity stones throughout the nine realms. Thor knows this. The Tesseract was one of them. We believe that Loki is seeking out one of the other five infinity stones. He is still a man with a vengeance and this is a way for him to destroy Earth once and for all."

"Loki may seek power, but I do not believe he would go back on his word." Thor stated, looking around at everyone sitting at the table before focusing in on Nick Fury.

Fury snorted.

"I'm not taking any chances. He went missing and he knows where one out of the six infinity stones is. Thor, I want you to look under every rock of every realm, every place that he might have been able to crawl into, I want you to check. I want you to find him, chain him up until he can barely _breathe, _and bring him in, do you understand me?" Fury snarled.

Thor fidgeted under the Director's intense gaze, but nodded his head once.

"I understand you well. I will begin my journey immediately."

Fury nodded as Thor stood up and stormed out of the room.

"I don't think we should put all of our chips on Thor finding Loki. He's an Avenger, but Loki is his brother, and somehow, he's convinced Thor that going to school has changed him. Thor trusts him more than any of us do. Is there any way we could track down Loki ourselves?" Steve asked; his eyebrows furrowing as he glanced at Bruce questioningly.

Bruce chewed on the end of his pen, staring ahead thoughtfully.

"No, I don't think so, if Loki doesn't want to be found, he's going to make it impossible for us to find him. If he's really looking for the infinity stones, we might be able to locate the stones and limit our search for Loki to those areas." He explained, beginning to scribble down algorithms as he thought about the known scientific properties of the Tesseract.

Tony looked over Bruce's shoulder curiously, focusing on the equations as they were being written.

"We could locate the Tesseract, since we've had time to understand the basic scientific properties. That doesn't do much for us, though, because everyone knows where it is. Loki isn't stupid enough to be anywhere around it, he knows we'd bag him in a second." He objected, glancing at Fury before returning his gaze to Bruce's notepad.

"Right, but we could analyze the properties that the Tesseract has, compare it to any information we can find on the other stones and derive the amount of gamma radiation we would be scanning for," Bruce started, glaring down at the information he had written down.

"To look for an average level of gamma radiation the Tesseract might have in common with the other infinity stones. If we're going to do that, we're going to need to," Tony interrupted, nodding his head.

"Access all of the spectrometers to set up some possible perimeters, yes, which means we're going to have to call every lab and get our equipment set up." Bruce finished, meeting Tony's focused stare.

"I'm ready whenever you are, big guy." Tony grinned, gesturing towards the door.

Bruce nodded, standing up out of his chair and following Tony towards S.H.I.E.L.D.'s lab, throwing a glance over his shoulder at Nick Fury before exiting the conference room.

"I never understand a word they say." Barton muttered as he watched them rush towards the lab through the glass hallways, both of them grinning from ear to ear.

"I think they were saying they have a way of finding out where the other five infinity stones are, which might help us find Loki faster." Steve responded, glancing at Fury, waiting for a confirmation or denial.

"Agent Romanoff, I want you to go talk to Tabby Baker. I want you to find out everything about her. If she makes any movements, I want you to know about it. If she so much as sneezes, I want you to be aware of every single second of it." Fury barked, throwing a file down in front of Natasha.

She looked up at him irritably.

"Do you really think that she knows where Loki is?" She asked cynically, glancing at Barton before returning her annoyed gaze to Fury.

"I think that she will be a very important resource to us. This is not a negotiation or request. It is an order, Agent Romanoff." Fury responded aggressively, his eyebrows lowering as he glowered at her.

"Uh, Director Fury, if you don't mind, I think I'll talk to the girl with Natasha. I want to see what she knows about Loki and how it could help us when we catch him." Steve said, jumping out of his seat as Natasha turned to glare at him.

"Alright, Captain, you may accompany Agent Romanoff to Ms. Baker's room. Barton, I want to talk to you about 24-hour surveillance of S.H.I.E.L.D. buildings nationwide." Fury said, gesturing for Barton to follow him.

Barton nodded, following Fury out of the conference room quickly.

Natasha turned to glare at Steve once the conference room was emptied.

"Look Steve, I know that you think that this is some super important mission, but this is nothing more than glorified babysitting. You _really _don't need to put up with this. It's already bad enough that I do." She huffed, getting out of her chair.

Steve raised his eyebrows as he followed Natasha out of the conference room towards Tabby Baker's room.

"With all due respect, Natasha, I'm taking this situation more seriously than you are. Loki has a vengeance against all of us, as well as everyone on Earth. This girl _dated _Loki. There's a very real possibility that he either brainwashed her, or convinced her to help carry out one of his plans. I don't intend to blow her off until I'm positive that she isn't a threat." He replied, staring down the hallway with a determined expression.

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Rodgers, you can't be serious. I read her profile. She's five-five and one hundred and ten pounds. Even if Loki did manipulate her, she wouldn't stand a chance against any of us."

"She could provide him with information. She could be a trained soldier. You're short and light and you've killed at least a couple dozen people."

Natasha sighed as they reached Tabby's room.

The walls were glass, allowing them to see the young girl before entering the room. Neither of them could see her face, because she was focused on the magazine that she was flipping to, but it was apparent that she had dark brown hair and a petite frame. She was wearing sweatpants and a flimsy tank top with her dark hair pulled into a loose side braid, clearly opting for comfort.

Steve swallowed hard as he followed Natasha into Tabby Baker's room.

He had never been very good at talking to women.

Tabby looked up as Natasha and Steve entered her room, shooting them a dazzling smile as she set down her magazine.

_Oh no, she's beautiful, _Steve thought to himself, his shoulders slumping as he met the girl's bright green eyes.

"Oh, hi, um, hey, aren't you Captain America?" She asked, cocking her head to the side as she looked at Steve eagerly.

Steve nodded, feeling himself blush.

"Uh, yeah, hi, I'm Steve Rodgers. Please, just call me Steve. It's very nice to meet you." He responded, outstretching a hand towards Tabby.

Natasha folded her arms across her chest, rolling her eyes as Tabby accepted the handshake with a wide smile.

"Alright, now that we're all friends here, let's get this over with. Tabby, we need you to tell us everything you think we might need to know about Loki." Natasha said, pulling over a chair to sit in front of Tabby, staring at her intently.

Steve looked down at Natasha in surprise before pulling up a chair of his own and sinking into it.

"I already told like, five of your agents, I dated Loki for about half a year before he broke up with me. I haven't seen him since then and I don't really know what he's up to. He told me that he was leaving Princeton and maybe Midguard, whatever the hell that is, and then he just kind of fell off the face of the Earth. No one has been telling me what kind of trouble he's in, though I'm assuming it's some pretty serious stuff. Please tell me I'm not in trouble too, because I have finals coming up. Dealing with this breakup already put me _way _behind schedule." Tabby responded, her eyes shifting between Steve and Natasha anxiously.

"Did Loki ever mention where he was from?" Natasha questioned, looking at Tabby curiously.

Tabby chewed her upper lip before answering the question.

"Yeah, I think he said he was from some place called Asgard. Jane told me that it was in some foreign country, I didn't really ask where." She responded slowly.

Steve smiled at her warmly as Natasha rolled her eyes again.

"Asgard isn't on Earth. It's a completely different realm. Director Fury said that you were a history major, right?"

Tabby nodded, eying Natasha carefully.

"How much do you know about Norse gods?" Natasha questioned.

Tabby shrugged.

"Not a _whole _lot, my focus is mostly European history. I know that Loki was named after the God of Mischief, and I know that the Nordics believed that he was a god and a jotunn, which was like some weird ice creature. Didn't he give birth to a whole bunch of weird animals, too?" She questioned, racking her brain for any information she could produce on the subject matter.

So maybe her ex-boyfriend had been crazy. Maybe Loki wasn't teasing when he said that he was the real God of Mischief. Maybe he had genuinely believed that he was. That would sure explain a whole lot of things about him.

"Give birth to animals?" Steve echoed, looking at Natasha for an explanation.

Natasha waved off his concern, still focused on Tabby.

"Right. Did Loki ever mention anything about having the same name as a Norse god?"

"Well, yeah, he said that he _was _the God of Mischief, but I always thought that he was just joking around. I mean, obviously the Norse gods are just stories, so I thought he was playing along with the hand he was dealt. Please don't tell me that he's some escaped mental patient who really thinks he's a god. Oh my god, please don't tell me that he tried attacking the Avengers, either. My self-esteem is at an all-time low already. Dating a mental patient would just shoot whatever was left straight to hell." Tabby moaned, looking from Natasha to Steve anxiously.

Steve smiled at her sympathetically, waiting for Natasha to explain the situation at hand.

"No, he's not an escaped mental patient. He really is Loki, the God of Mischief. He was the guy who caused all of the trouble in New York City. Now we're afraid he's trying to cause even more trouble, which is why you're here. Are you sure that you have no idea where he could be?" Natasha questioned, her face softening as Tabby's eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

"Wait a minute. You're trying to tell me that I was dating a Norse god for six months without even knowing it? Um, can you please show me the warrant for my detention again?" Tabby asked, eying both Natasha and Steve nervously.

Natasha let out a frustrated sigh.

Steve held up his hand, indicating that he had something to say.

"Ms. Baker, I know that this is a lot to process. I didn't believe Director Fury when he told me that the bad guy was a god from a different realm, but believe me when I say that there are a _lot _of strange things out there just waiting to come to the surface. You've got to roll with the punches a little bit if we've got any hope of finding Loki." He explained, smiling at Tabby warmly.

"If Loki is really a god, why was he at Princeton? Is the education system in Asgard subpar?"

Natasha rolled her eyes while Steve chuckled.

"No, Thor, Loki's younger brother, seemed to think that Loki would learn how to act like an upstanding member of society in graduate school. Unfortunately, he ran off without any of us knowing until it was too late and now we have to track him down before he tries to enslave mankind again." He responded, seemingly unbothered by Tabby's constant stream of questioning.

"No, no, no, I met Loki's younger brother. His name is Donny."

Tabby frowned as Natasha rolled her eyes once more.

"Unless I'm a complete idiot, and Loki's brother who looks kind of like Thor really is the Thor that has the giant hammer and controls thunder and lightning."

"He's the very same."

"Just to clarify, you do understand how completely insane all of this sounds, don't you?" Tabby asked, staring at Steve like he had three heads.

Even Natasha couldn't bite back a smile as Steve laughed.

"I know, it sounds crazy, I thought the same thing when I got briefed last year. Unfortunately, the world just keeps getting stranger and stranger. Now that we've sort of explained our predicament, do you think there's anything at all you can tell us that would help us find Loki?" He prodded gently, keeping his crystal eyes trained on Tabby.

"I really don't think so. I mean, he seemed like this great guy for the longest time then one day he just snapped when I asked him to get me some soup and told me that he was leaving. He didn't say where he was going, or why he suddenly decided to leave, he just…left." She answered, staring down at the ground with watering eyes.

Steve cleared his throat before standing up, glancing at Natasha as he did so.

"Great, well, thanks for being honest with us, Ms. Baker."

"You can call me Tabby."

Steve smiled shyly as Natasha sauntered towards the door, ignoring Tabby and Steve's interaction.

"Then thank you for being honest with us, Tabby."

Tabby smiled as Steve turned to walk towards the door, where Natasha had already exited.

"Hey, Steve?"

Steve turned around quickly, his eyebrows raised.

"Hm?"

"Do you know how long I'm going to have to stay here? I mean, I have finals and I have two dogs that are probably just freaking out right now. They've never been away from me for more than two days before."

Steve smiled slightly.

"We're doing the best we can, but I can't say that I know when exactly we can let you go. Don't worry about your finals right now, both Director Fury and Ms. Foster have already spoken to all of your professors about your situation. Your dogs are at a kennel right now, but I'll see what I can do about getting them into a more comfortable living space. You just hang in there, alright?"

Tabby smiled back at Steve, nodding.

"Yeah, I'll do my best. Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

Steve smiled to himself as he walked out of Tabby's room.

The girl had nothing to do with whatever Loki was involved in. Like Jane Foster, he would have been willing to bet his life on it. She was simply an unfortunate girl who had taken a very unfortunate risk in dating the universe's most wanted criminal.

Natasha, who had been waiting outside of Tabby's room, punched Steve roughly in the shoulder upon seeing the smile on his face.

"Hey! What was that for?"

"What do you think you're doing?" She demanded as Steve rubbed his shoulder, eying her reproachfully.

"I asked you first." He mumbled, following her down the hallway towards the lab.

"Steve, this isn't a joke. That girl could be the difference between normalcy and the _destruction _of Earth."

"I know that she's on the threat list, but do you really think that she's capable of hurting anyone? I mean, you saw her Tasha, I think that she's just a regular college student. I think Loki wasn't completely honest with her and she got blindsided by this entire thing."

"Oh, please,"

"Do you believe differently?"

"Yes, I do. She was with Loki for over six months. This is the same Loki that turned Barton and Eric Selvig into his personal slaves in a matter of minutes."

Steve sighed, shaking his head as they walked into the lab.

"I don't know, I just don't really think that she's up to something. I think we should be focusing on Loki."

Bruce and Tony looked up from their research, staring at Natasha and Steve curiously.

"What, did you meet Loki's main squeeze? Alright Rodgers, own up, is she hot? Banner and I have a bet on this one, and – "

"It's not a bet, I just disagreed with you. Not all of the students at Princeton look like the students on the pamphlets. That's a fact of life. Maybe he just liked spending time with her." Bruce interrupted, blushing slightly as Tony rolled his eyes.

Tony rolled his eyes, turning to look at Steve expectantly.

"Ignore World Peace over here. You've got to throw me a bone before I go down and check her out for myself."

Bruce scowled at Tony, but also shifted his attention to the squirming soldier.

Natasha intervened, smirking at Steve slightly.

"Rodgers' heart has already been compromised by our new guest."

Tony punched Bruce's shoulder, howling with laughter.

"I knew it! I fucking _knew _that Loki would find a smoke show. Pay up, Banner."

Bruce's eyes narrowed as he glanced at Tony before folding his arms across his chest and focusing on the incredibly uncomfortable Steve Rodgers.

"Steve, do you really think it's a good idea to get yourself involved with a girl like her? She's already been through so much. I don't know if throwing more curve balls her way would be the kindest thing to do." He said softly.

"I think a little action would do Rodgers some good." Tony argued with a grin.

Natasha rolled her eyes while Steve raised his eyebrows, confused about the meaning behind Tony's statement.

Bruce just shook his head, staring down at his shoes in frustration.

"It's already immoral for us to be keeping a civilian locked up in here when we have no evidence that she's done anything wrong. Taking advantage of her would be unimaginably vile." He responded.

Steve's eyes widened as he came to grasp the subject that the scientists were arguing about.

"No, no, I'm not, I didn't, I just…" He spluttered; his face reddening as he looked around at all of his peers desperately.

"I'm not saying Rodgers would _rape _her. We know that you wouldn't, test tubes. Don't have an aneurism over there. I'm just saying, if he liked her and she liked him, why shouldn't they both have a little fun with the shitty situation on their hands? I mean really, Rodgers, have you ever had sex with a woman?" Tony questioned, shifting the attention back to Steve.

Steve's eyebrows shot up in surprise at the question.

"I…uh…that's not something I'm willing to discuss, Stark." He responded stiffly, training his eyes on a piece of lab equipment nearby.

Tony chuckled, turning to look at Bruce again.

"Are you boys done being perverts yet? We have another meeting with Fury to designate patrol duties." Natasha questioned, glowering at all of the men.

"Why am I being lumped in a group with Tony? If it was up to me, the girl wouldn't be here. Really, if it was up to me, I wouldn't be here, either." Bruce responded.

"I agree." Steve muttered, glancing at Natasha for any sign of approval.

"Hey, since when am I the bad guy for caring about my friend's sex life?" Tony demanded, staring at both Bruce and Steve indignantly.

"We're not friends." Steve reminded Natasha quietly, glancing back at Tony briefly.

"Hey! I heard that! You would be lucky to have me as a friend, buddy. I could get you into all of the playboy parties, I could introduce you to women that don't even look real, I could probably help you out with your new lady friend, Tabby Baker. Tell him, Bruce. He'd be one lucky son of a bitch."

Bruce chuckled, shaking his head at Tony.

"I think you'd better run before Tony takes you under his wing, Steve." He told the burly soldier next to him, ignoring Tony's feigned surprise.

"And I'm the one who doesn't play well with others? Ouch, guys. Way to hit me where it hurts." Tony muttered with the hint of a smile showing as he stared at the guys in front of him.

Bruce smiled sheepishly, returning to his work on one of the monitors.

"You'll get over it, you always do." He chuckled, ignoring Tony's forced frown.

"Do you guys see what I have to put up with? Bruce is afraid to just admit that he loves me. I hope that Tabby treats you better than Bruce treats me." Tony said, patting Steve's shoulder teasingly before returning his focus to the computer monitor across the room from Bruce's.

Natasha rolled her eyes, shaking her head at Steve, who was opening his mouth to object.

"Come on. Let's just let the boys play in their lab for a little bit longer. Don't forget, you two, we're meeting with Fury in a couple of minutes. Try to play nice until then."

Tony and Bruce nodded at Natasha as she exited with Steve in tow, hardly paying attention to her warning.

"What do you think about the algorithms for tracking the other six stones? Think they stand even a remote chance at working?" Bruce asked with a small smile as he continued to sift through the equations covering the screen.

Tony cleared his own monitor, glancing over at Bruce curiously.

"Maybe; the real question is, will Thor tell his brother to stay away from the stones while we're on his case?"

"You don't really think that Thor would help Loki." Bruce argued softly, slipping on his glasses as he focused on one equation in particular.

"I don't know, I'm just saying, I don't think that I would put it past Hammer Time. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed and Loki can mindfuck people pretty easily. How else do you think he got a girlfriend that _Rodgers _is drooling over?"

"You seem pretty fixated on Loki's girlfriend. Should I be warning Pepper about this?" Bruce teased, attempting to reach a lighter subject.

Tony snorted, rolling his eyes as he approached Bruce, peering at his monitor from over the scientist's shoulder.

"I'm still in the doghouse for spilling scotch on the new Persian rug she put in the tower. She might kill me if you add anything else to the mix."

Bruce shrugged, chuckling to himself.

"Then I suggest you stop fixating on Tabby Baker. I'm sure she's just an average girl who met the wrong person at the wrong time. The sooner we get her out of here, the better."

Tony turned off Bruce's monitor, staring him dead in the eyes.

"You can't tell me that you're not at least a _little _curious about the girl who dated _Loki. _I mean, come on Banner, she dated him for _six months _and lived to tell the tale! I'll bet she's really interesting. Maybe she has a bunch of tattoos. Once I dated a woman with a tattoo on her lower back. She was stupid, really, she had gotten this quote, and – "

"Tony," Bruce interrupted, taking off his glasses and rubbing his temples, "the less involved she becomes in S.H.I.E.L.D., the better off she'll be. Let's just try to find Loki so they'll let her go."

Tony folded his arms across his chest.

"Let's go to her holding area and check her out for ourselves."

"What?"

"Oh, don't look at me like that. I know that you're curious too. You're a _scientist. _It's your job to be curious. Really, you would be neglecting your field of study if you didn't come with me."

Bruce shook his head, trying to bite back a smile.

"There's a difference between being curious about the laws of physics and being curious about a prisoner of a secret government agency."

"You were curious enough to inject yourself with a serum that makes you turn into the Jolly Green Giant. Just admit it. You're dying to meet her too. I won't judge you. Hell, I'll encourage you. I think it's great that you're coming out of your shell and interacting with people."

"If I agree to go with you, will you please stop pestering me about this poor girl?" Bruce asked with a grin.

Tony's eyes lit up as a smile broke across his face.

"Alright, let's go meet this girl, shall we? Did you read the file on her? She sounds like a complete badass. Fucked up past, of course, that sort of explains her thing with Loki, but she's had multiple run-ins with the cops and was never written up. All of her friends were, but her record is as clean as Thor's plate on taco night." He said, walking out of the lab with Bruce at his heels, staring ahead thoughtfully.

"Maybe she wasn't the one doing something wrong."

"Or maybe she found a way to get out of trouble scott-free. Every officer that she's interacted with has been male. Think that's a coincidence?"

"What are you saying, that police officers will just decide not to arrest someone because they're pretty?" Bruce questioned, staring at Tony in disbelief.

Tony shrugged.

"Pepper's gotten out of some speeding tickets before."

Bruce chuckled as they walked down the hallway towards Tabby Baker's holding area.

"Do you know what kind of things she's gotten out of? Maybe it was an 'I'll let you off with a warning' kind of thing." He reasoned, shrugging as Tony craned his neck to get a first look at the girl they had been focusing on for so long.

"Honestly, does _anyone _do their homework on this team? Her friends were charged with possession multiple times, she's been involved in some pretty intense parties and I'm pretty sure she's gone streaking more than once." Tony chuckled, grinning widely as he came into the line of vision of Tabby Baker.

Bruce raised his eyebrows, unable to help sneaking a peek at the girl.

"Uh oh." He mumbled to himself, bowing his head as Tony opened the door.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

"Oh, my god, you're Tony Stark!" The girl squealed, jumping up out of the bed she had been sitting on as she gaped at Tony, completely oblivious to Bruce, who was still keeping his eyes trained on his shoes to avoid staring at the girl that had already caught Steve Rodger's attention.

Tony smirked.

"Yes, I am. You're Tabby Baker. We've been hearing a lot about you. No one is quite sure what to make of you yet. Dating a villain is a pretty badass move."

Tabby's eyes widened slightly.

"Oh, right, yeah, apparently Loki is like some international criminal. Who knew?" She said, trying to smile as she blinked back tears.

Tony shrugged, sitting down in one of the chairs sitting in the room.

Bruce, on the other hand, tried to remain as unnoticed as possible by leaning against the wall, glancing around the room briefly before returning his eyes to the ground.

"I'm stunned that you didn't know sooner. Loki is a full-tilt diva. He didn't try to terrorize anyone or put you down? For Christ's sake, you met _Thor. _How did that get past you?" Tony demanded, an amused smirk playing on his lips as Tabby raised her eyebrows at him.

"Tony, don't, she's already been through so much." Bruce objected, finally drawing attention to himself as he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder, shaking his head in a disapproving manner.

"It's okay, I kind of deserve it. I was a little stupid, I guess. Um, hi, I'm Tabby. Are you with S.H.I.E.L.D. too, or are you some kind of psychiatrist who's protecting me from mean billionaires?" Tabby asked, shooting a dazzling smile at Bruce, who quickly averted his eyes.

"Oh, uh, yeah, um, I'm with S.H.I.E.L.D., but I'm not a psychiatrist. I work with Tony, so I know how insensitive he can be. I'm Bruce." Bruce murmured, nodding towards Tabby without making eye contact.

Tony glanced back at his friend and laughed.

Before Tony could comment on how anti-social Bruce was acting, Tabby moved towards the scientist with a smile stretched across her face and an outstretched hand.

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Bruce. So, are you guys here to ask me more questions about Loki? Because honestly, I'm pretty sure that the redhead, Natasha, and Captain America already know everything about my relationship with Loki. Are all of the Avengers going to come in here and ask me stuff? Ooh, am I going to get to meet the Hulk? I want to re-meet Thor, too. He has some explaining to do." Tabby rambled, shaking Bruce's hand before staring at the two men quizzically.

Bruce smiled shyly as Tony turned to smirk at him.

"I don't think you'll be meeting the Hulk anytime soon, but Thor has been chomping at the bit to talk to you. I think he feels really bad about lying." Bruce explained, still smiling.

"Well, he should feel really bad. To make it up to me, he should introduce me to the Hulk." Tabby huffed, biting back a smile as she folded her arms across her chest.

"What is your deal with the Hulk? You already fucked Loki, are you in the market for a new monster?" Tony questioned, leaning back in his chair as he smirked at Tabby.

She rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"Of course not, I just think that if I'm going to be a hostage or whatever, I should get to meet _all _of the Avengers. It's not that you're not impressive, Tony, but c'mon, the Hulk is definitely the coolest. He even saved your life!" She explained, not seeming to notice Bruce, who was beaming in the corner.

"You think the Hulk is better than Iron Man? You're joking. I can fly!" Tony objected, his eyebrows furrowing.

Tabby snorted.

"Yeah, but when your suit failed you, the Hulk just kind of jumped across a few buildings and caught you. You were like a rag doll in his hands. I mean, I might like Tony Stark better as a person, but as far as superheroes go, I think the Hulk takes the cake." She countered.

Bruce coughed to suppress a chuckle, causing Tony to glare at his smug friend.

"What do you think, Bruce? Hulk or Iron Man?" Tabby asked with a smile.

Bruce raised his eyebrows in surprise before shaking his head and holding up his hands, indicating that he didn't want to be a part of the conversation.

"You know, this is between you and Tony, I think you guys should work it out." He murmured, returning his eyes to the floor to avoid Tabby's bright eyes.

"No, no, Banner, it looked like you had something to say over there." Tony said, a smug grin taking over his face.

Tabby nodded, smiling at Bruce expectantly.

Bruce sighed, folding his arms across his chest and staring down at the ground.

"Okay, well, you're saying that the," he sighed again, "the _Hulk _is a better _superhero _than Iron man, right?"

Tabby nodded.

"Well, uh, how do you know that he's one of the good guys?"

Both Tabby and Tony looked surprised as Bruce's dark eyes rose from the floor to meet Tabby's brighter eyes.

Tabby faltered at the combination of Bruce's question and the unexpected eye contact.

"He fought the bad guy – um, I mean, Loki, I guess – in New York. Usually everyone that fights the bad guy falls under the 'good guy' category." She responded, looking noticeably confused at the question.

"No, no, no, I don't think it was that rational. I think he was fighting whoever was shooting at him. I don't think that the Hulk processed the good guy/bad guy thing. I'm not sure that he's capable of that." Bruce contested.

Tony leaned back in his chair further, watching Bruce's interaction with Tabby curiously.

"I don't think you're giving him nearly enough credit, then. Obviously I don't know _everything _about what happened in New York, but I did see what they put on the news, which was basically anything involving Tony Stark. I saw the Hulk rush to save Tony when he fell from the sky. None of the other Avengers did that."

Bruce shrugged, glancing at the wall to avoid Tabby's intense gaze.

"Maybe the Hulk has a soft spot for Tony, but that doesn't make him a superhero. He's killed people before. He's destroyed entire towns. He's just a monster who got lucky in New York." Bruce argued.

"You've got a soft spot for me, Banner?" Tony teased, grinning at Bruce.

Tabby's cocked an eyebrow at Bruce, who was distracted by Tony's question.

"Wait, you? Are you…?"

Bruce's eyes widened as he returned his gaze to a very confused Tabby.

With a cough, he shuffled towards the door.

"Uh, Tony, we really need to get to the conference room. Natasha's texted me ten times. It was really nice meeting you, Ms. Baker." He mumbled, throwing open the door and making his escape without waiting for Tony.

Tabby turned to look at Tony with a puzzled stare.

"Sorry about him, he's not used to speaking to women. He's...a scientist," Tony explained, rolling his eyes as he stood up, "try to take it easy on him. I'm sure I'll see more of you, Tabby."

"Yeah, okay." Tabby muttered, nodding as Tony exited the room.

As the door shut, she moved to pick up the magazine that she had been reading, prior to being interrupted by each of the Avengers that had decided to question her. With an impressed smile, she nodded to herself, flipping through the pages carelessly.

"Meeting four Avengers in one day; not too bad, Tabby, not too bad."

* * *

"Thanks for finally deciding to show up, gentlemen." Nick Fury growled as Bruce and Tony sank into their seats at the conference table.

"Oh, sorry Nick, I was just meeting our new prisoner. Y'know, the smoking hot brunette with those eyes? I think you're already acquainted with her, Cap." Tony explained with a smirk.

Steve's eyes widened slightly as he turned to look at Tony in surprise.

"I should have known that you'd get involved with her somehow. It's like waving a red flag in front of a bull." Natasha said, rolling her eyes.

"Whoa there, little red, someone is a little spitfire today. I never said that I was going to get it in with Tabby. I just said that she's an attractive woman. Is that such a crime?" Tony asked, feigning surprise as Natasha shook her head.

"Are you children done yet?" Fury snarled.

"By all means, what's the sitch, Wade?" Tony responded, nodding towards Fury.

Fury took a moment to glare at Tony before speaking up.

"Since you all now know Ms. Baker, you should all know that it is important for us to monitor her each and every moment of the day. Loki is still at large and probably knows by now that we have her. We're unsure of whether or not she's working with him, so we need all eyes on each and every action she makes." Fury explained with a frown.

"Don't you think that's a little excessive? We have her in custody. She can't get away with a whole lot in the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters." Bruce reminded Fury.

"Really, Banner? I thought you'd be all for watching her." Tony chuckled, smirking at Bruce, who glowered back at him in response.

Steve sat up straighter in his seat.

"You, uh, you met Tabby too, Dr. Banner?" He questioned, his crystal eyes flicking towards the scientist anxiously.

Bruce smiled slightly, nodding his head.

"I did. She's very interesting. I don't think anything of her beyond that." He responded softly.

"Tabby Baker is my brother's girlfriend." Thor growled, glancing around at the guys sitting around the table.

"Actually, L'oreal, your brother dumped the girl before taking off. She's fair game." Tony argued with a smirk.

Thor's eyes narrowed.

"Loki knew not of his actions. Jane Foster assured me that his brain was much affected by his studies."

"Alright ladies, if we're done scripting the next episode of Degrassi, I want to assign times to each of you. During your specified times, you'll be required to keep an eye on Tabby Baker. You don't have to sit in her room and stare at her like a jackass, but you had damn well better check on her at least once an hour. The last thing we want is a repeat of the episode in New York." Fury snapped.

Natasha rolled her eyes in disgust.

"You expect our schedules to revolve around the girl? Trust me, Director, she's nothing special." She contested.

"Be as that may, I already had Agent Hill write up a schedule that would best suit each of your personal lives. They've already been programmed into your phone. Now, Rodgers, I believe you're up first. Don't take this lightly." Fury stated, nodding towards Steve before striding out of the room.

Steve perked up as he glanced down at the cell phone Tony Stark had taught him to use. Just as Director Fury had said, it was his turn to watch Tabby for an entire three hour period.

"Excuse me, I should, uh, I should go check on her." Steve choked out, ignoring Thor glare and Tony's smirk as he stumbled towards the door.

* * *

Steve took a deep breath as he turned down the hallway leading down to Tabby Baker's room.

She was just a girl. She was just as human as he was. Well, maybe even _more _human than he was. He was, after all, sort of a super human.

"Come on, Steve, you've been talking to Natasha for months now. You can do this." He assured himself quietly, staring down at the ground nervously.

Talking to Maggie had been difficult enough and it had been her _job _to speak to him. Tabby Baker owed him nothing; she was a prisoner who didn't want to be there. She definitely didn't have to be nice if she didn't want to.

Letting out a heavy sigh, Steve knocked Tabby's door.

"Hey there, Steve, what can I do you for?" Tabby asked as she opened the door, a smile playing across her lips with her bright eyes searching Steve's face.

"Uh, hi, Tabby, I, um, well, actually, Director Fury told us that we have to monitor you, uh, not because we think you're doing anything wrong, but it's just, well, you know, for safety. So, here I am. You know, as long as you don't want your, uh, privacy." He stammered, feeling his face redden as Tabby continued to smile at him.

"Ah, you have Tabby duty? How exciting. For me, anyway. Come on in, I don't bite entirely too much." She replied, inviting Steve into her small living area.

Steve nodded, walking into the room, still staring at the ground nervously.

"So, that mean guy, Mr. Fury, is making all of you watch me? What exactly are you going to watch for? Like, I don't do a whole lot. Are you going to count how many pints of ice cream I eat or something?" Tabby teased, sitting down in one of the chairs pulled up to the tiny table that S.H.I.E.L.D. had given her.

Steve sat across from her at the table, scratching the back of his head as he mustered a nervous smile.

"Uh, I mean, we don't think that you're doing anything wrong, but you _were _with Loki. I don't mean to offend you, but he is sort of on our threat list. By associating with him, you accidentally flew onto S.H.I.E.L.D.'s radar. Hopefully we'll get this all figured out soon, so you can get back to school."

"Eager to get rid of me already, Steve?"

"What? No, no, of course not, I just, I know that you probably don't want to be here. Uh, I'm actually kind of glad that you're here. Uh, I don't mean that I'm glad you're here in the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, but um, I'm glad I met you. I guess." Steve replied, closing his eyes in frustration, unable to stop the flow of words from escaping his mouth.

Tabby watched Steve struggle to find the right word combination with a small smile, knowing better than to laugh at the poor guy.

He was sort of weird, but he was sweet. God knew that Tabby could use a sweet guy after being abandoned by Loki.

"Steve, relax. This isn't some interrogation." She said, reaching out to rest one of her hands on top of his.

Steve looked up at her in surprise, yanking his hand away reflexively, as if he had been burned. Realizing that Tabby didn't have ill-intent, he smiled sheepishly, staring down at her hand.

"I'm sorry. I'm not really good at speaking to women. Before I became this," Steve gestured towards his toned biceps, "I was this scrawny kid who never got a second glance. Suddenly I'm this incredible super soldier and women just expect me to be, well, like Stark. Then, once I think I've finally gotten everything under control, I wake up ninety years later. Now everything is completely backwards and I just don't think I'll ever figure it out."

"I don't want to speak too soon, but I think you might have already figured it out. Most women don't want Tony Stark; Tony Stark is an _asshole. _I think that if you start out with the whole 'I don't know what I'm doing' speech, you'll have more girls than you'll know what to do with."

Steve raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"You're joking."

Tabby giggled, shaking her head.

"No, I swear to god, girls go crazy over the whole 'I'm a clueless sweetheart' thing, it could really work for you. If all else fails, you look like a fucking Calvin Klein model mixed with a marine. Why don't you just use that to your advantage?"

Steve chuckled, shaking his head.

"I don't want a woman who only likes the way I look."

"Oh, would you prefer a woman who likes you for your money? I'm sure you're raking it in with all of the Captain America costumes and action figures." Tabby teased, leaning forward as she smiled at Steve.

Steve nodded, a good-natured smile stretching across his face.

"I was thinking more about a woman who likes me for the fame."

"Ah, see, now you're talking."

They both laughed before moving to a lighter conversation.

"So, how are you going to keep me entertained while you're on Tabby duty? I mean, I would be all for playing your wingman at a bar, but somehow, I don't think that Natasha or the pissed off guy with the eye patch would let me out long enough for that." Tabby said, smiling at Steve, who was still chuckling.

"No, I don't drink, anyway. One side effect of this," another gesture towards his bicep, "is that I can't get drunk. It just won't work. I'd be happy to entertain you, though. Do you like playing card games?"

Tabby couldn't help but laugh as Steve produced a pack of cards from his pocket with a small smile.

"Jesus, you're like a Disney princess, Steve, I love it. Um, yeah, sure, I like card games. Do you know how to play strip poker?" She asked, accepting the pack of cards from the super soldier with a smile.

Steve choked on air as his crystal eyes widened with surprise.

"_Strip _poker?"

Tabby laughed, rolling her eyes.

"Don't be such a baby! You're like twenty five years old, plus the ninety years that you were doing time in the ice. At one hundred and fifteen years old, you should really be mature enough to handle strip poker."

"I just, it's not very," Steve coughed nervously, "it's just not right."

"Who's to say what's right and wrong? Look, we all take our clothes off at the end of each day, don't we? As far as I know, no one's died of it. What's so bad about taking them off a little bit earlier, depending on the hand you're dealt?"

Steve ran his hand through his hair, sighing nervously.

"Y'know, I'm just not sure that it's proper under the circumstances. You're already being forced to stay here with these glass walls. I don't want you to feel obligated to take your clothes off in front of me in addition to that. You deserve at least some rights to modesty."

Tabby laughed, shaking her head.

"Modesty is _highly _overrated, Captain. C'mon. If you mind the whole glass wall thing, I'm sure you could find a different room for us to play in. I'm just thinking about a way to stay entertained. Isn't that what Tabby duty is all about?"

"I don't think that Director Fury would like - "

"Don't be such a goodie-goodie! I'm not asking you anymore. Either we can play here, or we can play somewhere without glass walls. Your call." Tabby declared, folding her arms across her chest.

Steve balked under her intense gaze, unsure of how to proceed.

Sure, Maggie had been a handful when he was dating her, but the worst that she had ever done was shoot at him. She had never stared him down like Tabby was currently doing. She had certainly never spoken to him the way that Tabby did.

Tabby Baker was a different kind of woman entirely.

"Uh, why don't I show you the media room? Agent Coulson had it built a while ago. We're supposed to watch films of each other fighting so we can learn how to make up for weaknesses and work with strengths." Steve finally managed to choke out, his face getting progressively redder as Tabby smirked at him.

"Alright, let's do this thing. You're going to have to show me the way. Otherwise people might think that I'm trying to escape in order to chase my ex-boyfriend through all of the realms." Tabby giggled, waiting for Steve to stand up before moving.

Steve exhaled deeply as he opened the door, nodding for Tabby to follow him.

This was a very, _very _bad idea. This was stupid. This was not protocol. Bucky would have been disgusted at how easily Steve had let Tabby manipulate him. Bucky would have pulled him aside and told him just how stupid he truly was for letting a girl with sparkly eyes and adorable dimples trick him. And Maggie, well, there was no accounting for what Maggie would have done.

Noticing his panicked expression, Tabby rested a hand on Steve's muscular arm, staring up at him curiously.

"Hey, are you okay? I mean, I know I was kind of being a pushy bitch back there, but I thought that was just the game we were playing. If you're really freaking out about this, we can go play go-fish in my room." She said softly, smiling up at the anxious super soldier.

Steve's eyebrows furrowed as he glanced down to make eye contact with the girl.

Upon seeing the hopeful glimmer in her bright green eyes, he sighed, shaking his head.

"It's fine, I'm sorry, I'm just not used to what everyone considers normal right now. I guess I've got some catching up to do." He replied with a small smile.

Tabby smiled back as he opened the door to the media room for her.

"You know, I think that it's better this way. I like that you're not like all of the other guys born in the last fifty years or so. You're a true gentleman. It's nice."

Steve smiled down at Tabby in surprise.

"Thanks."

Maybe he wasn't stupid after all. Maybe Bucky would have liked this girl; Bucky hadn't really ever met a girl that he didn't like. Maybe even Maggie would have liked Tabby.

Maybe, just maybe, Tabby Baker was going to be a blessing in disguise.

* * *

Natasha glowered down at her phone as she walked through the hallways of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

She hated that Nick Fury was making the Avengers babysit some girl who had been too stupid to realize that she was dating the fucking god of mischief. Seriously, how did that even happen? Thor had showed up to their Christmas dinner!

Well, that didn't really matter now. It was Natasha's turn to babysit, whether she liked it or not.

She frowned as she glanced at the glass walls of Tabby's room; the girl wasn't there. Steve, who was supposed to be watching her, wasn't anywhere in Natasha's line of vision, either.

Upon closer inspection, Natasha noticed a note taped to the door.

_Natasha,_

_I read that you have 'Tabby-duty' after me. I took Tabby to the media room. She wanted to play cards. You're welcome to join us. We might play Go Fish._

_Sincerely,_

_Steve Rodgers (Captain America)_

Natasha rolled her eyes as she ripped down the note.

Only Steve would take it upon himself to treat this 'Tabby duty' as a serious assignment. Only Steve would happily play card games with the ex-girlfriend of a war criminal instead of focusing on doing more adult things.

Tossing the note to the ground, Natasha strode towards the media room, irritated that Steve was treating the girl like she was some sort of child that needed to be attended to.

Now she would have to find a way to convince the girl to go back to her room, where she would sit quietly until one of the other guys stepped up to the plate and babysat her. Of course, Stark would probably make the poor girl uncomfortable, Thor would _undoubtedly _make the poor girl uncomfortable, Barton would avoid any interactions with the girl – Natasha would make sure of that – and Bruce would be too uncomfortable or too busy to even notice that he was babysitting the girl.

Biting back a smile that was stemming from the mental image of all five of the guys trying to entertain Tabby at once, Natasha turned the doorknob to the media room, shoving it open roughly.

Natasha's jaw dropped with an audible 'pop' as she observed the scene laid out in front of her.

Tabby was sitting at the table wearing a bra instead of a shirt, joined by Thor, Tony and Steve, all of whom were shirtless, and undoubtedly missing more than just their shirts. Bruce and Barton were lounging in chairs across the room, observing the card game the group at the table seemed to be playing with amused grins.

"Really guys? Strip poker? I would have expected this from Stark, but Thor, Steve, you should know better." She barked, shooting Barton the most venomous look she could muster before turning to face the offending party.

Tabby smiled at her newfound playmates before looking at Natasha.

"Don't get mad at them, I was the one who insisted on playing. Steve was just trying to be nice; plus I kind of shamed him into it. Then everyone else came into the media room for something or the other, and I tried to shame them into joining us. Those two totally wimped out." She explained, winking at Bruce and Barton, both of whom immediately looked directly at the ground.

Natasha's eyes narrowed as Steve and Thor's stares sank to the floor as well.

Tony, of course, looked very pleased with himself.

"Uh, I'm sorry, she just…" Steve tried to explain, giving Natasha a shamelessly apologetic look before returning his stare to the ground.

"Barton, Fury wants to talk to you about setting up a special perimeter in case Loki tries to show up. I'm going to go get some files from New Mexico to see if there's anything that will help us figure out what Loki is up to. Dr. Banner, please try to keep these guys from getting even more inappropriate." Natasha said, surveying the scene once more before exiting the room with Barton, who looked like he was going to be sick.

"Ten bucks says he's going to have a black eye the next time we see him." Tony chuckled, setting down the hand of cards he had been holding.

"We're lucky that she didn't report us to Director Fury." Steve sighed, also setting down his cards.

Tabby looked at the men in surprise.

"You make it sound like you're boy scouts who were caught smoking. Seriously, you guys are the _Avengers_, can't you kind of do whatever the hell you want? I mean, who's going to stop you?"

"Power must be regulated." Thor responded gruffly.

"Plus, we can't really do whatever we want when we've got a, uh, a guest with us. I'm not even sure Fury wants me in the same room as you." Bruce agreed with a small smile.

Tabby raised her eyebrows at Bruce, mustering a challenging smile.

"Why, is he afraid that I'm going to fall desperately in love with you? If that's the case, Dr. Banner, I've got to tell you, he might be a little bit too late." She teased with a wink.

Bruce smiled back, shaking his head.

"No, it's a little bit more complicated than that." He responded, avoiding Tony's amused stare.

"Alright, then why don't you tell me why it's so complicated over a nice wholesome game of strip poker?" Tabby replied with a flirty grin, shuffling the deck of cards in front of her.

"No, it's really for the best that I don't play. I don't handle losing very well." He explained, his face reddening as Tabby continued to smile at him.

"Then don't lose. Come on, you're starting out ahead of everyone and you'll probably beat Tony, at least. I'm pretty sure he's losing on purpose, so he can show off a little bit of skin there." She giggled, glancing back at Tony, who shrugged with an impish grin.

"I don't think that's such a good idea. We're not supposed to put you in any kind of danger while you're here. No offense, Dr. Banner." Steve replied hesitantly, eying the awkward scientist in front of him.

"None taken, Steve." Bruce agreed with a small smile.

"Now, hold on a minute. When we were in New York taking on our favorite diva, you seemed astonishingly in control for a giant rage monster. I don't see any problem with Bruce joining our game." Tony interjected.

Tabby's eyebrows shot up as she smiled at Bruce curiously.

"Are you finally going to tell me what your deal is? You ran out of the room last time Tony said something about you being the Hulk. Do I get to know the secret, or are you going to wipe out my memory?" She asked, grinning at each of the men expectantly.

Bruce sighed, his dark eyes meeting Tabby's bright eyes.

"Alright, I guess I should warn you about it," he muttered, sitting down in one of the chairs at the table, staring down at the floor as he did so.

Tabby cocked her head to the side curiously.

"Gamma rays are my primary field of study. I thought that maybe gamma radiation was the way to recreate the serum that made Rodgers the way he was. Recreating that serum would increase the human life span by at least twenty years; it would be an immediate cure for cancer, as well as a preventative for so many other tragedies." He began, not making eye contact with anyone in the room.

Tabby nodded her head, working to follow Bruce's anecdote.

"Anyway, when I finally thought that I found the formula for the serum, I injected some into myself. I don't believe in animal testing and no one would agree to stick a needle full of green stuff into their arm for any amount of money. It turns out my equations were just a little bit off," Bruce mustered a small smile as he finally met Tabby's eyes, "so whenever my blood pressure rises past a certain level, I…"

"You turn into the Hulk?" Tabby asked, sensing that Bruce was unwilling to finish the sentence.

Bruce nodded, shifting his eyes down to the table in front of him.

"That's so awesome."

Bruce looked up in surprise.

"You're not scared?"

Tony chuckled while Thor and Steve continued to watch the scene unfolding in front of them curiously.

"Of course not. I'm not afraid of you, Dr. Banner. You're a really nice guy, you wouldn't hurt me. Besides, the Hulk was always my favorite Avenger; he was the only one who didn't need to be saved, remember? Plus, green is my favorite color." Tabby responded with a coy smile.

Bruce looked at her curiously, ignoring the looks he was receiving from the rest of the people in the room.

"Have you seen the footage?" He asked, unable to believe the young girl was so quick to accept him for the monster that he was.

Tabby shrugged.

"Yeah, you saved a lot of people, Tony included. That doesn't sound too bad. Why, were you hoping that I would finally leave you alone once I knew? I hate to break it to you, Bruce, but you're stuck with me, now." She teased.

Bruce's eyebrows furrowed in disbelief.

"No, I just…well, no one is ever okay with the other guy." He explained quickly, his eyes darting towards a blushing Steve.

"Hey, what about me? I've always loved the giant green ragemonster! In fact, I think you should turn into the Hulk right now." Tony exclaimed, standing up and crossing his arms against his bare chest.

Steve's eyes widened, while Bruce stood up slowly.

"Hey, yeah, you should!" Tabby agreed enthusiastically.

"No." Steve, Thor and Bruce answered in unison.

"Fine. I'll see it eventually. I've been fending for myself since I was a child, Dr. Banner. I always know what I want and just how to get it." Tabby threatened, approaching Bruce with a devious grin.

Bruce coughed nervously, averting his eyes to the walls of the media room so he wouldn't be distracted by how much bare skin Tabby's lack of clothes revealed.

Strip poker had been a bad decision on Steve's part.

"Right, well, guys, I think it's time for us to leave Tabby alone; she could probably use some sleep and we need our science department to kick it into gear to find the other, uh, things Loki might be looking for." Steve stated, glancing around the room anxiously.

"Yeah, the scan we ran is probably just about done. Sorry Banner, you'll just have to resume your play date a little bit later. Actually, if you're looking for a venue, I was scoping out the building the other day, and there's this one room…" Tony's voice trailed off as he followed Bruce out of the room and towards their makeshift lab.

"I must find Jane Foster. Excuse me, Tabby Baker." Thor announced, bowing in front of Tabby before exiting the room.

Steve turned to face Tabby, knowing that he had to take her back to her holding area before he could go about his business.

"Hey, Steve?"

"Hm?" Steve questioned curiously.

"I'm sorry that I got you in trouble earlier."

Steve smiled, shaking his head.

"It's okay, it's my own fault. I should be taking this more seriously. I just hope that Natasha is a little nicer to you once she gets to know you better."

Tabby shrugged as she walked over to Steve.

"It's okay. I survived high school, I can survive this too. I mean, she doesn't have to be nice to me while I'm here, but at least she can't rip my head off without getting into some pretty hardcore trouble."

Steve chuckled as he walked Tabby back to her room.

"She's not so bad, once you really get to know her. She's only being tough on us because we're not really used to having girls around here. It's…different."

Tabby smiled up at him.

"Good different?"

"I think so."

"Well, thanks for being so nice to me, Steve. I really appreciate it. It kind of makes up for the whole 'accidentally dating a super villain, then getting dumped and taken by a government agency' thing." Tabby said with a grin.

Steve laughed, nodding.

"I'm glad you're happy."

"You know, I sort of am. Thanks. I guess I'll see you next time you have Tabby-duty."

Steve nodded again, smiling as Tabby headed into her room.

"Looking forward to it."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Bruce paced in front of the hallway leading to Tabby's door anxiously.

It was his first time on Tabby-duty; it was going to be the first time that he was alone with the green-eyed girl that had taken the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters by storm.

Steve was clearly falling for her after just one day and Bruce feared that he might be on the same damgerous track.

Sighing to himself, he ripped the band-aid and knocked on the door to Tabby's room.

"Mmm, hey Bruce, what's up? If you're looking for another game of strip poker, I think we should probably postpone that until tomorrow. It's like, two in the morning." Tabby mumbled, rubbing her eyes as she opened the door to her room.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I forgot that normal people sleep for more than a few hours at a time. Uh, I just wanted to let you know that I've got Tabby-duty now. Sorry." Bruce apologized, his eyes widening as he realized he had woken Tabby up.

"Oh, no, hey, I really don't mind being woken up by a tall, dark, handsome scientist in the middle of the night. It's much better than waking up to Barton perched on a chair in the corner. He almost gave me a heart attack earlier." She laughed, waving off Bruce's apology.

Bruce smiled down at the ground as Tabby opened the door wider to allow him to enter the room.

"Yeah, they call him Hawkeye around here. He likes to keep an eye on everything without getting directly involved."

"I guess I get that. So, are you always up at this time, or were you just so excited to monitor for a few hours that you just couldn't sleep?" Tabby teased, grinning at Bruce as he shuffled into the room.

Bruce laughed, nodding his head.

"Something like that. I don't really sleep a lot any more. When you've had a past like mine, you have trouble sleeping soundly at night."

Tabby's smile faded.

"What kind of past have you had?"

Bruce raised his eyebrows in surprise.

"I turn into an uncontrollable monster every time my blood pressure rises to a certain level, remember? I've killed people before. I'll probably kill people again."

"Tony said that you're under control. Bruce, I know that I haven't known you for a super long time, but I don't believe that you would hurt a fly if you didn't have to."

Bruce snorted.

"I've destroyed entire towns."

"You didn't want to do it, did you?"

"Of course not."

"Well, then you're already better than my ex-boyfriend. That's something, huh? You were out of control. It wasn't you doing all that stuff, it was the serum."

"I made the serum."

"You were trying to make a serum that would help mankind. You took it yourself so that nobody else would get hurt – not even a little bunny rabbit. You're trying harder to be a good person than anyone I've ever met. That's got to count for something."

"No, it doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter what I want, or try to do. The other guy just comes out and destroys everything."

Bruce sank into a chair in the corner of the room, resting his head in his hands.

Tabby frowned, staring at the broken down man in front of her.

She crept over to where he was sitting and leaned against the arm of the chair, resting her hand on Bruce's back lightly.

"Bruce, sweetie, you have to come to terms with your past and move on. This will kill you if you don't."

Bruce let out a humorless chuckle.

"I wish it would kill me."

Tabby shook her head.

"You have got to stop thinking that way. Isn't there _anything _you like about the hulk?"

"No."

"There's nothing at all? You aren't happy that he was there to save Tony back in New York? You aren't happy that he saved your life when you were subjected to all of that gamma radiation that Tony says would have otherwise killed you?"

Bruce sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Thor could have saved Tony. Thor would have saved Tony. My life would have been a welcomed sacrifice to spare the world exposure to the other guy."

"I wish you didn't feel that way." Tabby sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. That just means that I have to go out of my way to cheer you up every time I see you. I don't want you to hate yourself. I want you to be able to see you the way I see you, because I've got to tell you, Bruce, I think that you're the most incredible person I've ever met."

Bruce glanced at Tabby, a small smile creeping across his face.

"Thank you. Believe it or not, that means a lot."

Tabby grinned back at him.

"I'm always happy to help. Now, would you mind it terribly if I went back to sleep, or should I put you on suicide watch?" She teased, shifting her hand from Bruce's back to his arm.

Bruce shook his head, chuckling.

"I couldn't kill myself if I tried. By all means, go back to sleep. I'll, uh, I'll let you have some privacy. I'll check back in with you later. Hopefully you'll be asleep by then, but if not, I'll try not to be such a downer."

"Don't you even worry about it. I need to practice being a good listener, anyway. Maybe if I had focused a little bit more on being a giver instead of a taker, none of us would even be in this mess. Loki might have stayed."

Bruce smiled at Tabby sympathetically.

"Is it my turn to cheer you up?"

Tabby looked at him in surprise for a moment before shaking her head, removing her hand from Bruce's arm.

"No, my problems are ridiculously small. Don't even give them a second thought. Um, well, I think I'm going to go to bed now. Thanks for a great middle of the night heart-to-heart. Honestly, if it wasn't for you Avenger boys, I don't think I would survive this."

Bruce smiled, standing up out of his chair.

"I can't imagine you facing something you couldn't handle."

"You haven't seen me in a relationship, then."

Bruce nodded, still smiling.

"Uh, well, have a good night. I guess I'll see you tomorrow. Or, uh, maybe later today."

Tabby smiled, nodding as she climbed into her bed.

"Night, Bruce."

Bruce nodded to Tabby with a smile before exiting the room.

* * *

Bruce couldn't help but smile to himself as he walked down the hallway to Tabby's room.

She was most likely asleep, but he didn't really feel the need to talk to her. It had been so long since a woman had taken an active interest in him, and even longer since he had allowed himself to let a woman this close to him. He was completely out of his element. He didn't know what he would say to her the next time that he saw her, but he knew that she would come up with something. She always did.

Bruce stuffed his hands in his pocket, smiling to himself as he walked in front of the glass walls, his dark eyes focusing on the lump under a pile of covers, which he assumed was Tabby.

He stood there smiling for a moment before the lump under the covers shifted, uncovering Tabby's face.

Bruce frowned when he observed the panicked look on her face.

She was still asleep, or at least pretending to be, but she was shifting and grimacing as if something, or someone, was scaring her.

He stared down at his feet nervously. Simply barging into her room would be a violation of her privacy; something that could get him into some real trouble with S.H.I.E.L.D. On the other hand, Bruce felt liked he owed Tabby something after she had been so understanding about the other guy. Something was upsetting her. If something had been upsetting him, Bruce knew that Tabby would have done something about it, regardless of the rules. Still, Nick Fury was not a force to be reckoned with, especially when there was a prisoner at stake.

Bruce squeezed his eyes shut before forcing the door open.

Hopefully Fury would understand.

Tabby let out a few small whimpers as Bruce approached her bed slowly.

"Hey Tabby, are you okay?" He inquired softly, eying her cautiously.

"Please, don't leave." Tabby whispered in a strained voice.

"Leave? Who's leaving? I've still got two hours of Tabby-duty. I'll stay for as long as you want me to." Bruce responded kindly, kneeling next to Tabby's bed and resting a hand on her shoulder.

She sighed, her body relaxing under his touch.

"I've missed you."

Bruce cocked his head as Tabby drifted off into a sound sleep once again. He had only been gone for a few hours, certainly not a time span that merited missing him.

She was snoring softly before Bruce could even think of a proper way to ask her what she had meant by her question, leaving him to think about all of her possible answers while he waited for her to wake up.

* * *

Tabby tried not to think about her dream as she woke up the next morning.

She had been doing so well when it came to forgetting about Loki.

She had been keeping herself busy between making friends with the Avengers and pretending to study for exams that she knew she would be forced to miss. Then suddenly, he popped right back in her mind.

The dream had felt so real; she couldn't remember the last time she had had such a vivid dream. It was like Loki had really been there. Like he had never left her.

"Ugh, Tab, you have got to get over it." She murmured to herself, rubbing her eyes as she sat up.

"Get over what?" A male voice inquired from across the room.

"Jesus Christ, Steve, how long have you been standing there?" Tabby gasped, working to catch her breath as she focused her startled gaze on the super soldier standing a few feet away.

Steve shrugged, smiling apologetically.

"About an hour. Nowhere near as long as Dr. Banner," he began, nodding towards Bruce, who was asleep in a nearby chair, "I'm sorry if this is some kind of violation of your privacy, but he just told me that you were having some kind of nightmare and we figured we should keep an eye on you, just in case."

Tabby glanced at Bruce before smiling at Steve.

"That's really sweet of you guys. Um, was I talking a lot in my sleep? I know that people have told me I do that."

"Uh, no, not that I'm aware of. Dr. Banner might be able to answer your question better once he's awake."

Tabby nodded, brushing hair out of her eyes as she climbed out of her bed.

"Okay, just making sure you guys don't find out that I dream about each and every one of you every single night. That might get me into some trouble with your boss, right?"

Steve chuckled, nodding.

"It probably would. Uh, I actually came by earlier to tell you that I spoke to Director Fury about your dogs."

Tabby perked up immediately.

"Oh, yeah? What did he say?"

"We can't have dogs running around a government facility, but as long as you sign a form agreeing to let me be the temporary guardian of them, Director Fury doesn't have the jurisdiction to prohibit me from keeping them in my apartment."

"Aw, Steve, I don't know if I can ask you to keep my dogs in your home. They're big and they're obnoxious. I wouldn't want you to feel obligated to put yourself through that."

"Are you kidding? I love dogs! I always wanted to get a huge German shepherd, but my mom never really went for it. I had asthma and some bad allergies before the serum. Watching your dogs would be a real treat."

Tabby smiled.

"If you're really sure that you wouldn't mind, I would really appreciate it. I think you'll like Louis and Marie. They're sweethearts when they're not running all over the place."

"I'm sure they are. I'm very excited to get to know them. Uh, I have to pick them up from the kennel at eight, so I should probably get going soon. I'll see you later." Steve said, nodding towards Tabby with a smile.

"Say hi to my puppies for me! Thanks again for watching them. You really are a super hero."

"You're very welcome." Steve grinned, his crystal eyes locking with Tabby's before he exited the room.

Once Steve was out of the room, Tabby turned to look at the still sleeping Dr. Banner.

She didn't want to wake him up, especially after he had told her how difficult it was for him to get sleep. She did need to get on with her day, though.

With a shrug, she skipped over to her tiny closet and grabbed an oversized sweater and a pair of leggings. Bruce was at least forty years old, from what Tabby had observed. The chances were, if he woke up while she was in the middle of changing, he wouldn't see anything that he hadn't seen before.

She managed to get dressed and put on her makeup before he finally stirred; his head had slipped off of the hand it was propped up on, causing him to wake with a start.

"Morning, sleepy head. Did you have a nice nap?" Tabby teased as she scientist stretched, his eyes still half-closed.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You were having some kind of nightmare last night and you asked me to stay. I guess I fell asleep sometime between then and now."

Tabby kept a straight face at the mention of the nightmare.

So she had talked in her sleep.

Damn it.

"Really? That's so weird, I don't even remember that. Did I say anything else to you? Did I mention anything about wanting to rip your clothes off? Because that's supposed to be a personal thought, not something that I share with you and Steve."

Bruce shook his head with a small smile.

"There was nothing about ripping anyone's clothes off, so I, uh, I think your secret is probably safe. You did say that you missed me. I had only been gone for a few hours." He responded, glancing at Tabby curiously.

Tabby forced herself to continue smiling.

For a genius, Bruce really didn't catch on to some things.

"Well, maybe you were gone for longer than that in my dream."

Bruce nodded with a small smile.

"Yeah, maybe. Uh, well, I should go. I promised Tony that I would meet him in the lab. We're apparently supposed to be working around the clock.

"I know, I know, you're a world-class genius, you don't have to rub it in."

"S.H.I.E.L.D. dragged you out of _Princeton. _As far as I'm concerned, you're just as smart, if not smarter, than I am."

"I'm a history major."

"I'll try not to hold that against you."

Tabby laughed as Bruce ducked out of the room, shaking her head.

He was quirky and shy, but he made her laugh, and Tabby Baker _desperately _needed something to laugh about.

* * *

"There you are, Banner. I was beginning to think that you ditched our lab date to get with our little Tabby cat. Wait a minute. Weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday?" Tony asked, a devilish smirk overtaking his face as Bruce looked down to examine his clothes.

"Oh, uh, yeah, I guess I was. Tabby had some nightmare while I was watching her, so I had to stay there for a while. I ended up just falling asleep in one of the chairs. Coulson must have spent a decent amount of time picking out the most comfortable chairs possible." He answered, rolling up the sleeves of his crumpled shirt.

"You don't have to lie to me, buddy. I'm all for scoring on hot girls. Does Rodgers know? Please tell me that I can be the one to break the news to him. I want to see his face when he realizes that he lost a girl to you."

Bruce raised his eyebrows as he placed his glasses on his face.

"I think that I should probably be offended by that. Regardless, I didn't do anything with Tabby last night. She had a nightmare, she asked me to stay, and I stayed. That was about the extent of it. Steve was even there for part of the time, so don't try to make up one of those infamous Stark stories."

Tony shrugged, toying with a piece of lab equipment.

"Pro-tip: if a girl asks you to stay the night, she usually wants to have sex with you. Honestly, what do you even talk about with women?"

Bruce chuckled, focusing on a computer monitor.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't exactly associate with women every day of my life."

"You talk to Natasha."

Bruce met Tony's stare, causing the two men to burst out laughing.

"Yeah, okay, I didn't even believe myself on that one. How about this, you talk to Pepper whenever she visits the lab. That's something." Tony asserted.

"Tony, I'm not sure what you're trying to say, but I just want to make it very clear that when I talk to Pepper, I'm not trying to flirt with her. I'm just talking."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Don't flatter yourself, I'm not worried about you and Pepper. I'm saying that you've talked to a woman on a fairly regular basis. There's hope for you. Now you just have to figure out how to seal the deal with one."

Bruce shook his head.

"I just want to do my job. I don't recall even asking you for advice on women."

"Maybe not, but you sorely need it."

"That's debatable. I think it would be best for me, the other guy, and the entire female population if I just stuck to doing my job and nothing more."

"So you're just going to be a loner for your entire life?"

"That's the plan."

"Not a great plan. If I know anything about women – and I do – I know that Tabby isn't going to let you get away with that. If she wants you, the hell if she isn't going to have you."

"And you think that a twenty-three year-old girl wants me, the monster who nearly destroyed New York?"

"She did say that her favorite color was green."

"You're unbelievable."

"And you're naïve."

"You're wasting your energy talking about this. Tabby Baker isn't even remotely interested in me."

"You'd better hope not, big guy. If she does, you're going to be in a shit load of trouble.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

"Natasha, I get the feeling that you don't like me very much." Tabby commented, watching the agent flip through files from across the room.

Natasha scowled back at Tabby.

"I'm sorry. I meant to make that perfectly clear."

Tabby shrugged off Natasha's comment; jealous girls had never bothered her. They were petty and hardly found anything constructive to do with their time, leaving them entirely too much time to put down other girls. Natasha didn't seem to be much different. It was obvious that she liked being the only woman among the group of attractive men; she was always wearing that low-cut spandex suit and seemed to want to keep all of the guys away from Tabby at all costs.

Well, she could try all she wanted. Tabby already knew that it wouldn't do any good. The guys liked her, and yelling at them all of the time was only going to make Natasha less popular.

"We're not in high school anymore, you know. I don't have a problem with you and I've tried to play by your rules. Is there any specific reason that you don't like me?" Tabby questioned, setting down the crossword puzzle she had been half-heartedly attempting.

"I've met girls like you before. You flirt with all of the guys without committing to any of them, you pretend that dressing that way is more comfortable than wearing something more modest, and you act like you just don't understand why you got dumped." Natasha responded coolly, setting down the file to focus her intense stare on Tabby.

Tabby raised her eyebrows.

"Natasha, I'm not trying to flirt with the guys, we're just joking around. I'm sorry that you don't like my clothes, they're honestly the only clothes that I have here, but I can promise you, I really don't know why I got dumped. Like I said, I asked Loki to grab me some soup and for some reason, that just totally freaked him out. Look, I don't know how long I'm going to stay here, but it's not going to be fun for either of us if we don't at least try to get along."

Natasha scowled again.

"This isn't supposed to be fun."

"Little fun fact about myself, I like defying what things are and are not supposed to be."

"I'm not sure you should be telling that to a government agent."

Tabby shrugged.

"I haven't done anything wrong and I'm not asking to do anything wrong. Why are you so determined to hate me? Were you one of those girls in high school?"

"I had already killed a dozen people by high school."

"You're kidding. You were a spy in high school?"

Natasha snorted.

"I started as a child. I didn't have a very _conventional _childhood."

"So I'm guessing you didn't have a whole lot of girl friends."

Natasha rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"Yeah, I really didn't either. I didn't really kill anyone as a kid, though. I was just trying to avoid getting taken away by social services." Tabby said, smiling to herself.

"Am I supposed to feel bad for you?" Natasha asked dully.

"No, definitely not, I think everyone here has a pretty serious back story. Um, I was just trying to say that maybe that's common ground for us. So, maybe instead of trying to talk to each other like catty high school girls, we should try to talk to each other like real people."

"Uh-huh."

"I'm serious! You know what? Let's have a sleepover. I never got invited to any when I was a kid, but I'm almost positive that's how everyone learned to get along in junior high."

"A sleepover?"

Tabby nodded.

"No, definitely not." Natasha muttered, shaking her head and returning to the file she had set aside.

"Oh, why not? You're on Tabby-duty all night on Tuesday anyway. It could be really fun. We could get some snacks in here, maybe call up Pepper, Jane and Darcy, and just kind of hang out like normal people."

Natasha glowered at Tabby, who was still grinning hopefully.

"This isn't some kind of trick, is it?" Natasha demanded.

"Why the hell would I focus on everyone with zero super powers if this was some kind of trick? I think I would probably have to be the worst villain in the world." Tabby replied, laughing.

"If I find out that you're trying to betray _anyone _in S.H.I.E.L.D., I will personally rip you apart." Natasha responded coldly.

"That sounds an awful lot like a yes." Tabby said hopefully.

Natasha glared back at her.

"Fine." The agent sighed, returning her focus back to the file in her hands.

"Great! Can you tell Jane, Pepper and Darcy for me? I'd call them myself, but you guys don't seem to think that I should have a cell phone."

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"Fine."

Tabby beamed at the scowling agent in front of her.

This sleepover was either going to be one of the best nights of her life, or Natasha was going to end up killing her. Tabby wasn't sure which it was going to be yet, but she was sure as hell excited to find out.

* * *

"I can't believe we're having a sleepover in the media room at the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. Do you think people at the FBI have sleepovers?" Pepper Potts asked, giggling.

Tabby grinned, popping a piece of popcorn into her mouth.

"I know it's kind of weird, but I thought we should all kind of get to know each other." She explained, smiling at the women who were lounging around the media room.

"I think it was a great idea, Tabby. I could use some friends that I can complain about Thor to. My colleagues would probably tell the dean to fire me if I tried to tell them that my demi-god boyfriend won't stop throwing coffee mugs on the floor." Jane laughed.

"Oh, yeah, he does do that a lot! Tony ended up making him drink out of a sippy cup when he stayed in Stark Towers." Pepper responded, laughing along with Jane.

"I remember that. I thought Barton was going to laugh himself to death." Natasha muttered, a small smile creeping across her face.

"Speaking of Barton, what's going on between you two? Are you a couple or what?" Tabby questioned, a coy smile playing on her lips as she stared at Natasha knowingly.

Darcy, Jane and Pepper looked between the women in surprise; no one ever talked to Natasha in such a straightforward way. She was one of the scarier agents at S.H.I.E.L.D. She was far from being easy to speak to.

Natasha's eyes narrowed.

"Why do you ask?" She demanded, sitting up slightly.

Tabby raised her eyebrow.

"I mean, you guys are always together and he's always staring at you with this totally intense look on his face. I just want to know if you're a couple." She replied, shrugging.

"I'm kind of curious too, actually. You guys would have smoking hot babies." Darcy chimed in.

Natasha glared at Darcy.

"We have a mutual understanding." She allowed.

"I thought you guys had something going on." Tabby grinned, pleased that she was getting Natasha Romanoff, the local badass, to talk about boys.

"What about you, Tabby? You've been flirting with Steve and Bruce ever since you got here. They've been killing each other over who gets to cover whenever anyone needs to miss Tabby-duty. Which one of them do you really like?" Pepper questioned with a smile.

The rest of the women nodded, smirking at Tabby knowingly.

"What? No, Loki and I just broke up a few weeks ago! Steve and Bruce are just really nice guys." Tabby objected, shaking her head quickly.

"Get real. You and Loki broke up like two months ago and as far as I can see, you've stopped crying over it. Seriously. It's between a built super-soldier from the 40's, or a super smart DILF, minus the kids. Either way you're not going to end up losing." Darcy argued, grinning at Tabby.

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"As badly as she phrased that, she isn't wrong. You've cheered up a considerable amount since you've gotten here and you do seem to have a soft spot for those two. Let's just say it was a theoretical decision. Who do you think you would choose, Rodgers or Banner?" Natasha inquired.

Tabby bit her lip, her eyebrows furrowing as she thought about Natasha's question.

"No, I don't think I could make that call. They're both such great guys." She sighed, shrugging.

The women laughed, shaking their heads at Tabby, who smiled back sheepishly.

"One of these days you're going to have to decide for yourself. You can't keep stringing them along forever." Jane reminded her with a smile.

"I'm not stringing anybody along. Who knows, maybe I'm still holding out for Loki. Some girls really dig the whole 'international villain' thing." Tabby joked.

"What did you ever see in Loki in the first place?" Pepper asked.

"Everyone keeps asking me that. You know, Loki really isn't as bad as everyone thinks. I mean, yeah, he did try to take over Earth and that looks pretty bad. I'm not going to lie, I don't even know why he did that, you'd have to check with him. But once you really get to know him, he can be a really good guy. He punched a guy in the face at some haunted house because I got a little scared, he would comfort me when I had these really weird nightmares and, I don't know, I guess I just knew that I could count on him." Tabby explained, smiling to herself.

"Except he left." Natasha reminded Tabby dryly.

Tabby shrugged, her smile fading slightly.

"Yeah, he did. I don't know what happened there. I guess you guys don't either." She sighed.

Natasha shrugged.

"Okay, let's get off this heavy topic. It's only going to be a downer. Jane, if you had to date either Captain Hook or Shrek, who would you choose?" Darcy interrupted.

Jane's eyes widened in surprise slightly, but her eyebrows quickly knit together, indicating that she was giving the question a surprising amount of thought.

"Um, I think I would probably go with Shrek. He at least turned out to be a pretty nice guy at the end." She replied, laughing.

"Really, you don't mind the whole gross green monster thing? Huh." Darcy muttered, looking moderately surprised.

"Hey, Shrek was a sweetheart in that movie. Hook was always a jerk. I would totally date him too." Tabby said, nodding towards Jane, who rolled her eyes.

"Okay, my turn. Pepper: Einstein or Isaac Newton?" Jane asked, grinning at Pepper.

Pepper raised her eyebrows, a smile playing on her lips.

"I don't know if I would want to date another genius. From what I've learned thus far, they're kind of a pain in the ass. Um, if I had to choose though, I would probably go with Einstein. He seemed like a sweet old man." She answered.

"Yeah, I think I'd probably go with Einstein too. Newton was one of those frilly guys who wore buckles on his shoes. I don't think I could trust a guy with buckles on his shoes." Darcy agreed, wrinkling her nose at the thought.

"Are you kidding me? Newton's hair was flawless." Tabby objected, unable to keep a straight face as she spoke.

"So you're rejecting Einstein because he's old and has bad hair?" Darcy asked, staring at Tabby expectantly.

"Old? No. Bad hair? Yes." Tabby responded, laughing.

"Okay, okay, Natasha, James Bond or Jason Bourne?" Pepper challenged.

"James Bond." Natasha answered automatically.

"James Bond." Darcy, Tabby and Jane agreed unanimously, laughing as they looked at each other.

"Alright, guys, I've got this. Tabby, I don't even need to ask you who you would date, because I already know. You said that you'd date a green monster, you don't mind older guys and you like fluffy, curly hair on a guy. Now, let's see…who do we all know that's sometimes green, maybe a little bit older and has a pretty nice head of hair? Oh, right, that would be…" Darcy was interrupted by an abrupt knock on the media room door.

"Dr. Banner, hi." Tabby breathed, forcing herself to smile as the awkward scientist looked around at the women in surprise, clearly not expecting to walk in on a party when he entered the media room.

The rest of the Avenger boys were behind Bruce, also surveying the scene curiously.

"Hi." Bruce responded, smiling slightly before continuing to look around the room.

Tony pushed past Bruce, grinning at the women.

"Agent Hill told us that you were having a sleepover party and we were just wondering if our invites got lost in the mail."

Pepper rolled her eyes, standing up to speak to her arrogant beau.

"No, you don't play nice with others, remember?" She reminded him with a smirk.

"That's not going to stop me from attending this slumber party. If Agent Romanoff gets an invitation, why shouldn't I?" Tony argued, sitting down next to Darcy on the couch.

"Because you're an icky boy and nobody wants you here." Tabby responded.

Tony chuckled.

"If I'm not mistaken, you were just talking about boys, weren't you? It sounds to me like we're actually helping you out. Instead of acting like lonely sixth graders praying that someone asks them to a dance, you get to interact with guys. C'mon, Thor has some mead he brought back from Asgard. We'll share with you if you just let us join your party."

Tabby shrugged, exchanging glances with the other women.

"I guess I don't really care if he stays." She muttered.

"He's probably going to throw a hissy fit if we don't let him, anyway." Natasha sighed.

"I'll never object to a room full of the Avenger boys." Darcy chirped.

"Thor, why did you think it was necessary to bring your hammer here? You might hurt someone." Jane complained.

Pepper sighed, shaking her head.

"Fine, you can stay, but I'm warning you, Stark, one foot out of line and you're gone."

"I'm not really good with the whole 'stay in line' thing, so we'll see how this goes." Tony replied, grinning impishly as the rest of the men made themselves comfortable.

Thor sat next to Jane in a cramped armchair, Bruce lounged on the floor at a distance from the group, Barton pulled up a chair next to Natasha and Steve sat next to Tabby, something that didn't escape any of the women's notice.

"So, what were we gossiping about? Who has the cutest little outfits? Which movie has the biggest hunk in it right now?" Tony asked, looking around the room eagerly.

"Actually, we were just about to play karaoke. Nobody sings a ballad like you, Tony." Pepper lied, winking at Tabby, who relaxed at the shift in the subject matter.

"Ah, you're going to sing something for us, Stark?" Bruce questioned, grinning at Tony.

Tony rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"Ladies, I know that you think I'm this larger-than-life celebrity and you're right, but I don't really feel like putting you all to shame tonight." Tony responded.

"Coward." Pepper teased.

"Chicken." Tabby added with a smirk.

"Wimp." Darcy giggled.

"Just get up there, Stark." Natasha said.

Tony sighed, standing up from his spot on the couch.

"Fine, you women have shamed me. I'll set up the karaoke machine. You'd better prepare yourselves, though. I don't think you're ready for what you're about to get." He said, grinning as he approached the TV, bending down to set up the machine.

"Is he really a good singer?" Steve asked Pepper in a low voice, looking surprised.

"Oh, god no, he's awful, but he thinks he's really great." Pepper replied with a smile.

"That sounds about right." Steve chuckled, nodding his head.

"What about you, Steve? Any chance that you're going to get up there and sing something for us?" Tabby asked, nudging Steve's broad shoulder as she smiled up at him.

Steve shook his head, blushing.

"Oh, no, I really don't think that's a good idea." He responded.

"Aw, don't tell me that the great Captain America is afraid of singing in front of a few of his friends." Tabby teased, punching his shoulder playfully.

"I don't think I've ever seen you blush before, Steve. Are you really this shy about singing? I mean, Jesus, Tony is about to make an ass out of himself and he doesn't seem to care at all." Darcy commented.

Tony glanced over his shoulder at the mention of his name, but proceeded to work on the karaoke machine.

Steve shrugged, staring down at the floor.

"I just, I don't really know any music from this time period, and the only time I sing is during church."

Bruce hung his head and slumped his shoulders as the women reacted to Steve's statement with doe eyes and loud "aww"-ing.

"That's probably the cutest thing I've ever heard. If you're afraid of not knowing the music, there's a screen where you can read the lyrics. I would help you pick out an easy song." Tabby suggested, leaning closer to Steve with a small smile.

"I don't know, Tabby. I think it would be better if I just let all of you enjoy yourselves."

"I would enjoy it more if you sang. What if I sang with you?"

Steve ran his hand through his hair.

"You're not going to let me out of this, are you?"

"I am not." Tabby responded with a giggle.

Steve sighed, a good-natured smile creeping across his face.

"Okay, you can pick the song. Don't expect too much of me, though."

"Hey, are you two done planning your wedding yet? I'm waiting on you." Tony informed them, gesturing towards the microphone in his hand.

Tabby grinned.

"I'm sorry Tony. I didn't mean to get in the way of your music. Please, grace us with your voice." She responded, glancing at Steve, who chuckled.

"Only because you asked so nicely. Pepper, I just want to remind you that we're not in Stark Towers, so you will have to keep your pants on." Tony announced with a smirk.

Pepper rolled her eyes.

"I think I'll manage, Tony."

"I don't know if anyone is going to keep their pants on when you're up there." Tabby teased Steve, nudging his arm with a smile.

Steve looked at her in surprise while Tony continued to bicker with half of the room.

Bruce, who had been closely observing Tabby and Steve, cleared his throat loudly and demanded, "Tony, are you ever going to sing?"

Tabby glanced back at Bruce before laughing and nodding her head.

"Yeah, Stark, I think you might be all talk. Maybe you really can't sing." She agreed.

Tony raised his eyebrows, a smirk emerging on his face.

"We'll see about that." He challenged, pressing the button with an overdramatic movement, grinning back at everyone in the media room before wiggling his hips to the beat of the song.

Tabby bit her lip to keep from laughing at the dancing billionaire in front of her.

After glancing around the room, she didn't feel quite as bad. Nearly everyone, Pepper included, was quietly laughing at the performance that was happening before them.

As Pepper had forecasted, Tony was terrible. He jumped around belting out the words to "Back in Black" without a shred of dignity and smirked at them once he was done, clearly under the impression that his performance had been incredible. So – of course – everyone let him continue thinking that it had been.

"Okay Steve, let's get up there." Tabby said, patting Steve's knee before standing up and approaching the karaoke machine.

The rest of the group cheered and wolf-whistled as Steve followed Tabby reluctantly, Bruce being the only exception to the excitement.

"What song are we doing?" Steve asked quietly, leaning closer to Tabby as she examined the karaoke machine.

"I don't know. Is there any chance that you know any of these?" She responded, drawing Steve's attention to the list of songs in front of them.

Steve stared at the list for a moment before shaking his head.

"Not really, no."

Tabby shrugged, smiling.

"Okay, then we'll do a really easy song."

Steve sighed, accepting a microphone from Tabby with a defeated expression, clearly not entirely thrilled about singing a song he didn't know in front of his co-workers.

He managed to stutter out the words to "Marry You," a smile crossing his face as he started to pick up the words to the chorus, at least. Tabby grinned right back at him, hardly able to believe that she had gotten Captain America to attempt to sing (unfortunately, he wasn't much better than Tony had been) karaoke with her.

"Steve, why did you make such a big deal out of telling me that you don't sing? You were definitely having fun. I saw that big smile on your face." She teased as the super soldier escorted her back to her spot on the couch.

Steve chuckled.

"It wasn't as bad as performing during the war, I'll give you that one. I don't think I'll be doing it every day, though."

"Well, that's a shame. I was really hoping that we could sing together all of the time. Maybe tour Europe, grab a couple of Grammy's along the way, who knows? It could have been a pretty fantastic experience." Tabby teased as Jane dragged Pepper towards the karaoke machine.

"You know, I've already toured Europe once. I'm not sure that I would pay to do it again." Steve replied with a small smile, leaning back against the couch.

"Well, yeah, but that was Europe in World War II. Everything is different now. Hydra is gone, Hitler is dead and as far as I know, everyone has since recovered from the whole ordeal. Aren't you even a little bit curious to travel the world and see what's changed?"

Steve shook his head.

"From the changes I've seen here in New York, I can honestly say that I don't even want to think about any changes that happened abroad."

Tabby raised her eyebrows at him, but was quickly distracted by Jane and Pepper, who were singing some song that she had never heard before.

Over the next hour, everyone was shamed and charmed into singing at least one song: Jane managed to get Thor to sing some Asgardian song once he drank about six glasses of mead, Darcy begged Steve until he helped her out with a rap song that made everyone giggle, Tabby miraculously convinced Natasha to do a song with the rest of the girls in the media room, Tony insisted on a "hip hop jam" with Tabby, and Natasha demanded that Barton embarrass himself after she had sung. The only person who had escaped the scrutiny of the group was Bruce Banner, who had been trying his best to fly under the radar.

Tabby, who had been trying so hard to ignore Bruce – primarily for the sake of getting Darcy, Natasha, Jane and Pepper off her back about a crush she wasn't even sure she had – couldn't let the scientist get away with not participating.

"Wait a minute. Tony, before you turn the machine off, I think Bruce should sing something."

Everyone turned to look at Bruce, whose dark eyes widened considerably at the attention.

"Oh, no, go ahead and turn it off, I don't really sing." He mumbled, shaking his head.

"It wasn't really an invitation. Everyone else sang something. It's only fair that you embarrass yourself just as much as the rest of us have." Tabby responded, unable to help smiling as Bruce focused his attention on her.

"And if I say no?"

Tabby shrugged.

"I won't let you."

"What if," Bruce paused as he surveyed Tabby's facial expression, "the other guy says no?"

The Avengers stiffened at Bruce's question while Tabby remained unphased.

"Do you mean the Hulk? Sure, bring him out. I did say that I wanted to meet him, remember?" She responded, ignoring Steve, whose posture had gone rigid.

Bruce ran his hand through his dark curls.

"I think you're the only person in this room who would rather meet the other guy than let me get away with not singing."

"I already told you, I really don't think that you would hurt me. Even if you decided to, I'm surrounded by super heroes. I think I would be okay."

Steve cleared his throat nervously, leaning in to speak to Tabby in a low voice.

"I don't know if we could protect you if Dr. Banner got angry. I don't think we should push him." He warned.

Bruce's eyes narrowed as he looked at Steve.

Tabby waved off Steve's concern.

"I don't understand why you all walk on eggshells around him. I never filter myself and I've lived to tell the tale. Come on, will you please sing something? I'll sing with you if you're scared."

"You're not going to let me be, are you?" Bruce asked with a sigh.

"Nope."

The awkward scientist couldn't hide a smile as he stood up, shaking his head in a lame attempt to appear irritated at the attention he was receiving. Sure, he truly was unhappy about being forced to sing in front of his co-workers, but he felt a certain smugness about taking Tabby's attention away from Steve, who had been the recipient of her flirty comments all evening.

Tabby smiled as Bruce trudged towards the karaoke machine, something that did not go unnoticed by the judgmental eyes of Darcy Lewis.

"Okay, this is going to be terrible, but I want you all to remember that I could crush you between my fingers if you laugh at me." Bruce joked as he picked up the microphone, flinching as Tony cheered loudly.

He ended up choosing an Aerosmith – a surprising selection for such a shy man – and was just as terrible as the rest of them had been. At one point, Tabby had noticed how self-conscious Bruce was getting, and belted out the words to the song along with him, drawing some of the attention off of his subpar singing.

"Well, now that we've all embarrassed ourselves, what else are we supposed to do? Read romantic novels and paint pictures of unicorns?" Tony asked, offering Bruce a glass of mead as he fled from the karaoke machine.

Bruce declined quietly, returning to his seat away from the rest of the group.

"No, we play truth or dare." Darcy answered quickly.

"Truth or dare? Don't you think that's a little childish?" Natasha muttered, staring at Darcy expectantly.

Darcy shrugged.

"No more childish than having a sleepover."

"I'm always down for truth or dare." Tabby chimed in, hoping to settle the debate.

"It would be a pretty funny blast from the past." Jane agreed slowly, glancing up at Thor, who looked confused.

"So, do we have to keep this PG-13 or can we move up to a more mature version of the game?" Tony questioned with an amused grin.

Steve's jaw clenched as he stared at Tony.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with a mature game. We're all adults here." Barton responded, draping an arm over Natasha's shoulder as he grinned at the rest of the group.

"Are you guys crazy? Fury is already angry with us. We've been pushing the limits on what we can and can't do with prisoners. No offense, Tabby, but this is too inappropriate." Steve growled.

"I think Steve might be right." Bruce agreed hesitantly.

Tony shrugged.

"PG-13 it is."

Tabby rolled her eyes as the men stared each other down. Bruce and Steve were entirely too concerned with whatever this Fury guy said. So they made a new friend; big deal. It wasn't like she was a real threat to anyone. That was Loki.

As Tabby's mind wandered to Loki, and just what he might be doing, the rest of the group fired off questions and challenges to each other, laughing at each response.

Tabby only snapped back into attention when she heard her own name.

"Okay Tony, if I died in a horrific accident and you decided that you were ready to move on, who in this room, would you date?" Pepper had asked her smirking boyfriend.

Tony glanced around the room, sizing his options up before making his decision.

"If we're just going off looks, I'd probably go for Tabby. But if I wanted to settle down, I'd definitely hold out for Banner. No offense, Tabby cat, but your lack of science expertise sort of screwed you over on this one." He responded, his dark eyes focusing on Tabby with an amused smirk.

Bruce rubbed his temples in fake frustration.

"You know, Jane knows science, and she's a woman. You like women, remember?" He reminded his friend, unable to bite back a smile as Tony grinned at him.

"Yes, she does, and I'm not saying that I wouldn't prefer you over a man, Jane. However, I think everyone in this room would agree that it would be smarter for me to settle for Banner than to try to steal a girl from Thor."

"Steal Jane Foster?" Thor echoed, gripping the handle of his hammer tightly as his eyes scanned the room with a dangerous glare.

"No one is actually taking Jane from you, buddy, relax." Tony chuckled, reaching over Darcy and Jane to pat Thor's massive arm.

Thor glowered back at Tony before turning his focus on Jane, who quietly explained the parameters of the question.

"You would rather live with the other guy than deal with a pissed off Thor?" Bruce asked in disbelief.

"You would rather marry a man than marry Tabby, just because she doesn't know as much about science as you do?" Steve demanded, his eyebrows furrowing as looked from Tabby to Bruce.

Tony waved off both of the questions.

"I don't mind the Hulk. I already told you that. He likes me. He saved my ass back in New York. As for Tabby: well, you are hotter than doctor B, and you're much more social, but I think you remind me a little bit too much of myself. I don't think I'd want to marry myself."

Pepper snorted.

"Dating you is difficult enough. Trust me."

Tabby shook her head, laughing.

"Hey, you don't need to worry about offending me. I don't want to marry you, Tony. I'm sure you and Bruce would make a lovely couple."

Steve looked down at Tabby, unable to stop himself from smiling.

She was one of the only women he had met outside of S.H.I.E.L.D. that didn't express an interest in settling down with Tony Stark. That definitely won her brownie points in Steve's book.

"Alright, enough hounding me about this. Cap, I think it's your turn. Truth or dare?" Tony inquired, folding his arms across his chest as he smirked at the smiling super soldier.

"Truth."

"Really? You struck me more as the 'dare' type. Alright. Uh, would you hook up with anyone in the room if you had the chance? Just for the record, 'hook up with' really means 'have sex with'."

Steve paled.

"That's an inappropriate question."

Tony shrugged.

"It's PG-13."

"But it's personal." Steve objected.

"So was mine." Tony reminded him.

Tabby could feel everyone's eyes on her as the two men bickered over the question; they all thought that Steve had a crush on her and were just waiting for him to say it himself.

Tabby, on the other hand, wasn't so sure that she wanted him to say it. If Steve said something, he would probably want to talk about it afterwards. The conversation would then culminate into him asking her how she felt about him, which was a question Tabby wasn't sure she could answer. She still loved Loki, and then there was Bruce, who had chosen today of all days to look super hot.

Tony's question had the capacity to ruin Tabby's friendship with Steve and turn it into an awkward situation that she had already dealt with entirely too much throughout her lifetime.

"I don't think that I would 'hook up' with anyone here without entering a serious relationship first. I respect each of the women here entirely too much to think about them that way." Steve replied coolly, his upper lip curling as Tony snorted.

Tabby relaxed at Steve's answer, relieved that she wouldn't have to have 'the talk' with her newfound friend.

Or, at least, not yet.

"Fine, who would you date?" Tony amended, rolling his eyes.

"You already asked a question and got an answer. It's not your turn anymore." Steve replied.

"Hit a nerve, did I, buddy?" Tony teased.

Steve glared at Tony for a minute before turning to look at Darcy, who had been watching the interaction eagerly.

"Uh, Darcy, is it?"

Darcy smiled and nodded.

"Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

Steve scratched the back of his head, glancing around the room for any suggestions his peers might have to offer.

"Dare her to do her best impersonation of a stripper." Tony suggested lazily, ignoring Pepper as she punched his shoulder lightly.

Thor glared at Tony before locking eyes with Steve and shaking his head to discourage the super soldier from using Tony's dare. While the demigod was primarily focused on Jane, he saw Darcy as a younger sister, someone who needed to be protected from men like Tony Stark.

"No, you should get her to try tying a cherry stem in her mouth." Tabby chirped, handing a large bowl of cherries that had been sitting on the table to Steve, who looked puzzled.

"Seriously? I have enough trouble tying my shoes and I use my hands for that." Darcy objected, frowning as Steve handed her the bowl of cherries.

"You're kidding. No one's ever taught you how to do it? It's so simple! Here, I'll show you." Tabby laughed, snatching a cherry from the bowl and popping it into her mouth.

Everyone watched as Tabby played with the stem in her mouth, producing a tied stem a few moments later.

Darcy groaned, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Crap, Tabby. I think I would even date you and I'm as straight as they come; just ask my boyfriend. Can I just skip out of the dare? It's bad enough that I'm starting to get a hardcore crush on Tabby."

Tony and Barton exchanged looks before facing Darcy.

"You'll just have to do something else if you can't do that." Tony replied.

"Please tell me that you aren't choosing." Darcy muttered.

"I can choose." Barton offered.

Natasha shot her boyfriend a dirty look, which he elected to ignore.

"Oh, god, you're not much better than Tony." Darcy complained.

"I was just going to dare you to see how much popcorn you could fit in your mouth. Calm down." The assassin chuckled, still ignoring the dirty looks he was receiving from Natasha.

"An eating challenge? Yeah, okay, I can handle that." Darcy agreed with a wide smile, eagerly placing a handful of popcorn in her mouth automatically.

Tabby laughed as Darcy shoved more and more popcorn in her mouth, completely oblivious to the fact that both Bruce and Steve were watching her intently.

After four and a half large handfuls of popcorn, Darcy shook her head, grabbed her water bottle off of the table and choked down the popcorn in her mouth, signifying that she was done with her dare.

"Okay," she gasped between large gulps of water, "Tabby. Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss whoever you think is the most attractive person in the room. Keep in mind, I have a boyfriend." Darcy challenged, her eyes lighting up as Tabby's face turned bright pink.

Well, after the way Darcy had been teasing her all night, Tabby couldn't say that she was entirely surprised by the dare. Still, this had the potential to get very ugly very fast.

Tony was a definite no-go for reasons beyond the fact that he was dating Pepper, Thor was Jane's boyfriend and Loki's brother, Natasha would _kill _her if she _thought _about kissing Barton, Steve would take the kiss way too seriously, and Bruce…well, if she kissed Bruce, everyone would assume that she kind of had a thing for the scientist. They wouldn't be wrong, but Tabby wasn't sure if she wanted all of S.H.I.E.L.D. to know about it.

Sucking in a sharp breath of air, Tabby opened her mouth to make a decision when she was interrupted.

"Darcy, this is way too inappropriate. She shouldn't have to do anything she doesn't want to with anyone in this room. That's borderline torture and I take that very seriously." Steve snarled, looking enraged at the dare he was witnessing.

"Maybe we should do something else." Jane suggested, glancing around the room nervously.

"Why don't we watch a movie?" Pepper chimed in, eager to remove all tension from the room.

Tony, who was watching Steve through narrowed eyes, nodded his head slowly.

"You know, I heard that new comedy about the talking dog was supposed to be really good." Tabby said, trying her best to ignore Steve, who was staring at her with a stony expression.

"Yeah, why don't we watch that?" Steve agreed slowly.

"Fine by me." Tony muttered.

"I guess it wouldn't be the worst thing about tonight." Natasha murmured.

"If Tasha's in, I'll watch it." Barton shrugged.

"Great, I'll try to find it on the TV." Darcy announced, leaping up from her seat to seize the remote, eager to get away from the conflict that had emerged from her dare.

Everyone settled down as the movie started, much to Tabby's relief.

Steve leaned a little bit closer to her, which she pretended not to notice, while the rest of the Avengers couples cuddled up. Darcy had slid down to sit on the floor in order to avoid being near Tony and Pepper as well as Thor and Jane. Bruce seemed perfectly content sitting far from the rest of the group, his dark eyes focused on the TV attentively.

As Steve shifted even closer to her, under the guise of not being able to see the screen, Tabby gulped down another large glass of mead. That way, if Steve actually made a move, Tabby could blame the alcohol for her reaction.

Luckily, Steve behaved himself for the duration of the movie. He had tried to catch her eye a couple of times, but after a few failed attempt, he had given up and decided to focus on the movie.

As the credits rolled, Barton spoke up.

"Hey, I was just thinking about this video game that came out the other day. You know, that one that took place in World War II? Any chance you could hack the network and set it up, Stark? I heard it's awesome."

"Yeah, I already have it in Stark Towers. You'll like it, Cap, you're a character in it." Tony replied, getting up and approaching the game console resting beside the TV.

Steve raised his eyebrows before standing up and approaching Barton and Tony, who were crouched down next to the console.

Out of the corner of her eye, Tabby noticed Bruce had stood up and was making a break for the door while the other guys were distracted.

"Uh, I'm going to get something to drink, does anyone want anything?" Tabby asked quickly, jumping up from her seat and scooting in the direction that Bruce was heading.

"Yeah, grab me another glass of mead, please." Darcy responded, not taking her eyes off of the guys, who seemed to be entering some kinds of codes into the console.

"Um, yeah, okay!" Tabby called back over her shoulder, skipping out the door behind Bruce.

"Hey, wait a minute!" She whined once the door had shut, drawing Bruce's attention.

"Tabby, hey. I don't think that you're supposed to be walking around the building alone." Bruce said, a small smile creeping across his face as he turned around to face Tabby.

"I'm not, I'm with you." She reminded him with a dazzling smile.

Bruce glanced down at his shoes before meeting Tabby's eyes again, trying his best to bite back the grin he knew was making its way to his face.

"Why are you out here? Aren't you supposed to be hosting the greatest sleepover in S.H.I.E.L.D. history?" He asked, nodding towards the door to the media room.

"I am, but one of my guests is leaving. Did you not like the movie? Or were you offended that no one truth or dared you?" Tabby asked with a playful smile.

Bruce ran a hand through his hair before shaking his head.

"No, no, definitely not."

"Yeah, you don't really strike me as the type that would like playing those kinds of games."

"You don't strike me as the type that would back out of a dare." Bruce countered, leaning against the wall as he watched Tabby with an amused stare.

"Hey, that's not fair. Steve was the one who threw a bitch fit over the whole thing."

Bruce shrugged.

"If you say so."

As Tabby scowled, Bruce turned to walk away again, anxious to get away from Tabby before she charmed him any more than she already had.

It was bad enough behind alone with her during Tabby-duty, being alone with her where there were little to no surveillance cameras or guards walking by was Bruce's worst nightmare.

"Don't you dare walk away from me. Bruce, get your ass over here."

Bruce turned around in surprise; no one had spoken to him in such a stern tone since he had taken the serum. Everyone walked on eggshells around him for fear that the other guy would make an appearance. Tabby, on the other hand, didn't seem to give a damn whether or not she met the Hulk.

"Just so you know, you're not supposed to speak to a guy with anger issues that way." He reminded her, unable to keep the amused tone out of his voice.

Tabby approached the scientist, an amused grin playing on her lips.

Before Bruce could ask just what she was doing, Tabby stood on her tiptoes and leaned in, planting a quick kiss on his lips.

Bruce seized her shoulders and kissed her back. It only took a few seconds for the kiss to deepen; Bruce parted both of their lips aggressively, eager for any progress he could get.

It had been years since had had a physical encounter with a woman, after all.

After a few moments, Tabby broke up the make out session, taking a few steps from Bruce, who quickly tried to follow her in the hopes of continuing the interaction.

Once she was sure Bruce was going to behave himself, Tabby stepped closer to him once more, leaning in to place her lips right next to his ear.

"Just so you know, I never back out of a dare." She purred.

Bruce's posture was rigid as Tabby backed away from him once again.

"I'll see you later, Dr. Banner." She said, smirking as she stole one last glance at the scientist before returning to the media room.

Bruce stared after her with wide, until the door shut behind her.

Letting out a loud sigh, he checked his pulse with closed eyes.

"Calm down, Banner." He growled, taking deep breaths as he tried to forget his interaction with Tabby, focusing on thinking about equations he had been working out with Tony instead.

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Bruce heard Tony Stark's voice question a few minutes later.

He opened his eyes, meeting Tony's curious gaze.

"Hmm?" Bruce answered, his mind still racing.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted to play the game Barton and I downloaded before Rodgers glues himself to it for the night. Tabby told me that you were standing around out here. What's the matter? Is there somebody else? Are you trying to break up with me?" Tony teased.

Bruce shook his head, squinting his eyes as he worked to come up with a valid reason to excuse himself before the other guy joined the sleepover party.

"I just need to go."

"And do what? We're running tests in the lab as we speak. The results won't be ready for a day or two."

"Uh…shower."

"Shower?"

"Yeah, I, um, I really need a shower."

Tony raised his eyebrows before picking up on the underlying meaning of Bruce's statement.

"Did something happen between you and our notoriously flirty prisoner?"

Bruce shrugged.

"You're a terrible liar, buddy. Always have been, always will be. If you want, I can go in there and ask her myself. I'm sure Rodgers would love to hear what she had to say." Tony continued.

Bruce's eyes narrowed.

He tried to walk past Tony, but the taller man blocked his way, folding his arms across his chest.

"Might as well tell me."

"Get out of my way, Tony."

"Make me."

"You don't want me to do that."

"I don't think you would do that."

"Tony, I'm serious. I don't want to hurt you. My blood pressure if already higher than it should be. Please get out of my way." Bruce insisted through gritted teeth.

Tony shrugged, stepping out of Bruce's way and letting his arms fall to his side.

Bruce pushed past Tony wordlessly, walking off as quickly as his legs would carry him.

* * *

"Hey Steve, what are you playing?" Tabby asked, sitting down next to the soldier on the floor, following his intense gaze to the TV screen.

"It's a game based on World War II. I get to play an actual soldier on the lines." He answered excitedly, tearing his eyes off of the screen just long enough to smile at Tabby.

"You know, you actually _were _in World War II." Tabby reminded him teasingly.

Steve chuckled.

"Yeah, but this is better. This makes it look glamorous. This makes it look easy."

"Do you want to tell me about it? I love learning about World War II. It seemed like such an interesting war."

"Sure. Do you see the gun that guy over there is holding?"

"You mean the one that looks like a laser beam?"

"That's the one."

"What about it?"

"That's a Hydra weapon."

"You told me a little bit about Hydra, but I think you skipped the lesson on his weapons. Why were his weapons like that?"

"He took this thing called the Tesseract from a man in Norway. The Tesseract belongs on Asgard, but they were keeping it here to avoid having it fall into the wrong hands."

"And then Hydra found it and made weapons out of it?"

Steve nodded.

"They were devastating. They could disintegrate men in a couple of seconds."

"Wow, they left that out in the history textbooks."

Steve smiled, his eyes still focused on the screen.

"They kept Hydra a secret for as long as they could. The world already had to deal with the Holocaust. People just weren't ready for another terrible threat."

"I can't imagine." Tabby whispered.

"Yeah, it was a pretty rough time for everyone. Everyone saw things that no human should ever have to see during that war."

Tabby nodded, unsure of how to respond to Steve's statement.

Steve paused the game and looked over at Tabby, surprised by her silence.

"Hey, I actually have a question for you." He said.

"Maybe I have an answer for you." Tabby responded with a smile.

"You said that you've been studying history in school, right?"

"That's right."

"Well, uh, I was briefed on the important things that I missed while I was under, but that still left me sort of clueless. I'm tired of trying to learn things on the go, especially when Stark is there to mock me. Is there any chance that you could bring me up to speed on days that I have Tabby-duty?"

Tabby grinned.

"I would love to teach you history, Steve! I've been reading my history textbooks to fill the void while I've been here. I could use another excuse to go full-out history geek."

Steve smiled back at her.

"Thanks, I would really appreciate it. It would be nice to be clued in on what people are talking about every once in a while."

Tabby nudged Steve's shoulder with a smile.

"Hey, Rodgers, mind if I join the game?" Tony asked from behind them.

Steve turned to look at Tony curiously.

"You want to play a game with me?"

Tony shrugged.

"It's the only venue where I can kick your ass without having Fury giving me shit."

Steve smirked.

"Sit down. We'll see who kicks whose ass."

Tabby laughed as the men shoved each other, trying to get the upper hand in the video game.

Maybe she would be stuck at S.H.I.E.L.D. for a while, but now that she had made some friends, the prospect of staying didn't seem so bad. Tony and Steve were kind of getting along, Natasha was actually smiling, the rest of the group was laughing over large mugs of mead, and best of all, Tabby was certain that Bruce Banner was totally into her.

"Not bad, Tabby, not bad." She whispered to herself with a small smile.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

Steve woke up to a whimpering noise later in the evening, disrupting the light sleep he had fallen into during the slumber party.

"Tabby?" He murmured, shifting his sleepy gaze to the other end of the couch, where the S.H.I.E.L.D. prisoner was sleeping.

The rest of the members of the party, aside from Bruce who had long since disappeared, were sprawled all over the media room, sleeping off the large amounts of mead they had consumed throughout the evening.

Tabby whimpered once more, shifting slightly in her sleep.

Steve sat up, focusing on Tabby, whose eyebrows were furrowed.

He knew that she had bad nightmares; everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. did. She had been having them for weeks, which only seemed to bother Steve and Bruce. Everyone else seemed to think that it was fairly normal for someone with a past like Tabby's to have consistent nightmares.

"Hey, Tabby, it's okay." Steve whispered, patting Tabby's head awkwardly.

"Mmm, Steve?" She muttered, her eyes cracking open in confusion.

Steve smiled slightly.

"You were having a nightmare." He explained quietly.

"Oh." Tabby responded, nodding her head sleepily.

"Are you okay?"

"Mhmm," Tabby murmured, shifting so that her head was resting in Steve's lap while her arms wrapped around Steve's nearby arm.

Steve stared down at her curiously.

He had dealt with her nightmares while he had Tabby-duty before, but this was different. This was at a slumber party. He was _sleeping with her. _Well, not by Tony Stark's definition, of course, but still, he was sleeping in a room with a woman that he found incredibly attractive.

His grandmother was probably tossing in her grave.

Bucky, on the other hand, would have been very proud.

"Hey, Tabby?" Steve whispered, his eyebrows furrowing as he stared down at her.

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think you'd maybe want to get some fondue sometime?"

"Ummmm yeah, okay, sure." Tabby responded sleepily.

"Great. I might have to check with Director Fury about going somewhere, but I don't think it would be too…"

Steve was interrupted by the sound of Tabby's light snoring, causing the super soldier to chuckle under his breath.

"Fondue it is."

* * *

"Umm, what time is it?" Jane questioned as everyone in the media room began to wake up.

"I don't know, but I'm going to have to talk to someone about the couches in here. They are so fucking _uncomfortable. _Is anyone else's back killing them?" Tony questioned, stretching out with a large frown.

"I think you might just be old." Tabby teased, sliding away from Steve on the couch with a smile.

"Careful there, Tabby cat. You might be my new drinking buddy, but I can still put on the suit and wreck you."

Tabby rolled her eyes, still smiling.

"You know, I'm not really that scared of you, old-timer."

Pepper laughed as Tony scowled.

"I don't think you should be putting my shit on blast when Rodgers is sitting right there. He's the oldest person in the building. Hell, maybe he's the oldest person in New York at this point." Tony objected, gesturing towards Steve.

Steve shook his head, not wanting to get involved in any arguments Tony was starting.

"My back is fine. I still have the body of a twenty-five year old, Stark."

Tony's scowl grew more intense.

"I can't wait until we do training combat again. I'll have your ass for that one."

An amused grin crossed Steve's face.

"Oh you will, will you? Go ahead. I'm not afraid of you."

"Remember, this isn't a video game anymore. It'll really hurt when I come for you."

Steve laughed.

"You're all talk, Stark."

"Is that a challenge?"

"If it was, would you accept it?"

"Bring it on, Cap." Tony responded with a grin,

Steve launched himself at Tony, sending the two men crashing onto the floor.

Natasha, Pepper and Tabby rolled their eyes at the men rolling around on the media room floor while Thor and Barton watched the fight with a great deal of interest.

"Aw, fuck! My back! My back, Rodgers, _my back_! Barton, tap me out here, man!" Tony howled, managing to shove Steve off of him long enough to slap Barton's arm.

Steve laughed, pulling Barton into a headlock as soon as he entered the fight.

"I wish to join this brawl. Jane, please guard Mjolnir." Thor boomed, flashing a smile at Jane before dropping onto the floor and ripping Steve off of Barton.

"They're going to end up breaking something, aren't they?" Tabby asked, stepping back from the pile of men to avoid getting sucked into the fight.

"I'd be surprised if the media room is intact once they're done." Natasha replied with a small smile.

"Why don't we go get breakfast while the boys kill each other? I think I saw an agent walking down the hall with a bear claw when I went to the bathroom earlier." Pepper suggested, glancing towards the door with a sly grin.

"That sounds like a perfect plan." Darcy agreed, stepping towards the door.

"Wait, don't you guys have to lock me up in my room or something? Mean eye patch guy might think that I'm trying to kill everyone if you don't." Tabby reminded them as they all exited the media room.

Pepper, Jane and Darcy looked at Natasha curiously, waiting for her judgment on the situation.

Natasha waved Tabby's concern off, much to everyone's surprise.

"Nah, you're fine. You're with me. No one will say anything." She responded.

"Wow, Natasha, that's really nice of you. I'm surprised that you're being so cool about this." Tabby commented, following the women down the hallway towards the cafeteria.

Natasha shrugged.

"If you make a wrong move, I'll just kill you."

Tabby laughed.

"That sounds more like you."

"So, who do you guys think is going to win the fight in the media room? Obviously I don't really care, since I don't have a stake in the outcome of the fight, but we could always bet on it." Darcy said as they entered the cafeteria.

"Well, I know Tony isn't winning, so I'd probably bet on Steve." Pepper replied.

"I don't know, it looked like Thor was tossing him around when we left." Jane objected.

"Have you ever fought with Steve? He never gives up. Even if he's getting the shit beat out of him, he'll just stand up and ask for more. Honestly, I'm beginning to think something is really wrong with him." Natasha argued, snatching an apple off a nearby agent's plate as she walked by.

"And speaking of Steve not giving up, Barton told me that he was talking about fondue with you last night." Natasha commented.

All of the women turned to look at Tabby curiously.

"Steve asked you on a date? And here I thought you were going to go for Dr. Banner for sure." Darcy said, staring at Tabby expectantly.

"What are you talking about? I never talked to Steve about fondue." Tabby argued, her eyebrows furrowing as they found a table to sit down at.

Natasha shrugged.

"Clint doesn't lie to me. He said he overheard Steve asking you if you wanted to get fondue. You apparently said yes."

"Did he say when? Maybe I drank too much last night." Tabby muttered, racking her brain to remember every conversation she had had with Steve the night before.

She couldn't just pretend that she remembered having the conversation that Natasha was telling her about, because what Natasha was talking about sounded dangerously like a date. Tabby knew for a fact that she wouldn't agree to a date with Steve when she had kissed Bruce that night.

Oh, shit. She had almost forgotten about Bruce.

She had been pretty buzzed off of the mead Thor had supplied when she kissed the scientist. She hadn't really thought through the whole thing; he had been there, she had had an excuse, and he had been looking hot that night. She hadn't really worried about what the other Avengers would say, what kind of trouble she would end up getting Bruce into, or if she was really ready to move on from Loki. After all, Bruce wasn't the kind of guy you had a rebound relationship with. He was the kind of guy you dated for the long haul.

"Yeah, he said it was in the middle of the night, when everyone else was asleep." Natasha answered.

"What? I didn't talk to Steve in the middle of the night. I was sleeping off the mead." Tabby argued.

"Maybe you talk in your sleep. You already have those insane nightmares. You know, Bruce and Steve totally stalk your room at night because those nightmares give them an excuse to hold you without having Fury chew their asses out." Darcy informed Tabby, laughing.

Tabby rolled her eyes, trying not to read too much into Darcy's statement.

"Maybe I did, but if I talked in my sleep, I need to sort all of this out with Steve. I don't want to give him the wrong idea."

"I think you might be a little late for that. You slept on the same couch as him last night. I'm surprised he hasn't proposed to you yet." Pepper teased.

"I don't think they're wrong, Tabby. You should go on the date with Steve. It might do him some good to get acclimated with the twenty-first century." Natasha commented, taking a large bite out of the apple that she was holding.

"Let me get this straight, you're encouraging me to date one of your teammates?" Tabby asked, unable to believe that Natasha would willingly surrender the attention of one of the Avenger boys willingly.

Natasha shrugged, focusing on the apple as she spoke.

"He's been a lot easier to deal with since you've showed up. All of the boys have been, even Dr. Banner. I think you're good for them. I think you're especially good for Steve."

"I think she's right, you know. Before you showed up, Tony and Steve were always at each other's throats. Now they're still fighting, but Tony hasn't talked about how to actually kill him in a while." Pepper agreed with a small smile.

"I hate being wrong about you and Dr. Banner, but you _were _flirting with Steve all night long last night. Why don't you just go on the date with him? You owe it to him and you owe it to yourself. Obviously you like him and if you cancelled the date, I think you'd kill the guy." Darcy chimed in.

Tabby shook her head, brushing a strand of hair out of her face as she avoided eye contact with all of the women.

"Steve is the nicest, he is, and I know that I would be totally lucky to have someone like him, but I don't think I could possibly go on a date with him. I just wouldn't feel right about it."

"Why not?" Darcy persisted in exasperation.

Tabby shrugged, frowning down at the table.

"I think it might be an actual crime to lead on Captain America."

* * *

"I can't believe you dipshits broke the TV. Fury is going to kill you." Tony chuckled as he and the rest of the male Avengers sat around the media room, recovering from their spontaneous brawl that had reduced the media room to shambles.

Barton chuckled, throwing a piece of glass in Tony's direction.

"You started this, remember? If Fury is killing anyone, I'm going to make sure it's you." The assassin responded, grinning at Steve, who nodded with an amused grin.

"You guys are up the creek without a paddle here. I'll just get Bruce to tell Fury that I was helping him out with science shit while you idiots were fighting." Tony said, smirking at all of the men.

"You dare lie to your authorities?" Thor demanded.

Steve rolled his eyes.

"I'm sure Tony has done a lot worse to a lot more important people. Come on. Let's get this place at least a little bit cleaned up. I don't want Director Fury too upset with me." He said, standing up and brushing himself off.

"Oh, yeah, you have to talk to him about taking Tabby out on a date, don't you?" Barton teased, smirking at Steve.

Steve stared back at Barton as Tony and Thor looked at him curiously.

"I don't know what you're talking about." The soldier muttered, flipping the overturned coffee table over in an attempt to avoid meeting Tony and Thor's stares.

"Do not get too close to my brother's companion. He may be in another realm, but she is his companion." Thor reminded Steve, standing up slowly.

"I don't know how many times I'm going to have to remind you, Shakespeare: your brother broke up with her. She's fair game." Tony reminded the demigod, rolling his eyes.

"Something that Rodgers is taking full advantage of." Barton snickered.

"Hey, show some respect." Steve growled, returning an armchair to its original state with an unnecessary amount of force.

Barton shrugged with an amused grin.

"I'm just saying. I heard what I heard. Tabby had one of her weird nightmares, and since Banner wasn't around, you got to handle it all by yourself. Then you decided to swoop in with the whole 'well, hey, maybe we can get fondue because I'm really cultured and refined'. It was pretty impressive." He chuckled, ignoring the dark look he was getting from the super soldier.

Tony coughed loudly, drawing the attention away from Steve.

"I'm sorry, did you just say fondue?" He demanded, working to regain his composure.

"Yeah, is that a problem?" Barton asked, staring Tony down curiously.

"I do not understand what this 'fondue' is, either." Thor admitted, sitting down on the couch, which had been broken in half sometime during the brawl that had occurred earlier.

Tony glowered back at Thor.

"I know exactly what it is. Rodgers, where did you hear about fondue?"

Steve stared back at Tony evenly.

"I was a soldier during World War II. You taste a lot of things when you're traveling the world." He responded coolly.

Barton sat down on the other side of the broken couch, watching the emerging conflict with a great deal of interest.

"Oh, so you were traveling through Europe killing a shitload of men, but you always stopped for some cheese and bread?" Tony snarled.

"I don't see what difference it makes to you." Steve replied, folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh, I'm going to…" Tony began; his posture stiffening as he slapped on the wrist bands that would call the iron man suit to attention at a moment's notice.

"Whoa, let's just hold on for a minute. Tony, Steve just wants to take Tabby out for some food. What's the big deal?" Barton inquired, jumping up to stand between Steve and Tony, who were glaring at each other, silently daring one another to make the first offensive move.

"I'll tell you what the big deal is. I grew up hearing a man extend invitations to fondue. Those invitations had a funny way of culminating into something a _lot _more serious than cheese and bread, so I'm going to ask you one more time, Rodgers: where did you hear about fondue?" Tony demanded, his eyebrows lowering as he directed his hate-filled eyes at Steve.

"Howard Stark." Steve responded with an equally menacing glare.

"Oh, shit." Barton murmured, glancing in between the two men quickly.

Thor joined Barton in the middle of the two men as Tony launched himself at Steve, both of the men yelling incoherent arguments at each other throughout the process.

The door to the media room opened, revealing a very confused Bruce Banner on the other side.

"Guys, what the hell?" He shouted over the loud argument, surveying the scene warily.

"Oh, hey, Bruce, great. Think you could take Tony to the lab? We, uh, we all have some things that need to get worked out." Barton panted, struggling to keep Tony away from Steve.

Bruce nodded slowly.

"Yeah, sure. Tony, buddy, we need to get to the lab now. You can play with Cap later." He said, striding over to the struggling Tony and placing a hand on his shoulder.

Tony glared back at Bruce.

"Now is _really _not the time, Banner." He growled.

"It never is." Bruce sighed, tugging on Tony's shoulder lightly.

Tony spared Steve one more glare before turning to face his friend.

"On a scale from one to ten, how ready are you to turn into the big guy and kick Rodgers' ass?"

"I'd say the chances of that are in the negatives."

"And you're sure about that?"

Bruce shrugged.

"I'd say so. Now let's get to the lab. We need to look at some of the test results, and you should probably get yourself cleaned up. Is that your blood on your neck?"

"Huh? Oh," Tony murmured, wiping the smeared blood on his neck, then glancing down at his hand in surprise, "no, I think that's Barton's. You missed a few things."

"That's probably for the best. This way. You can tell me all about your night in the lab. Take it easy, guys." Bruce responded, nodding towards the rest of the male Avengers before guiding Tony out of the media room and towards the lab.

"Okay Tony, what happened this time?" Bruce sighed as they walked down the hallway, throwing an exasperated glance at a sullen Tony.

"Steve decided to invite Tabby to _fondue." _Tony replied, looking at Bruce expectantly.

Bruce raised his eyebrows.

"How dare he…?" He responded hesitantly, unsure of why Tony was so outraged.

Tony let out an exasperated sigh, shaking his head.

"You don't get it, Banner. He learned about fondue from my father."

"Your father?" Bruce echoed as they walked into the lab.

Tony nodded, snatching a bottle of scotch out of a nearby cabinet and pouring himself a drink.

"The one and only. Let me tell you something about my old man; I learned everything I know about women from him, and as Pepper has kindly told me, all I know about women is how to get them into bed, and how to blame them when everything goes to hell. Apparently Rodgers also took a few notes on women from my dad."

"So, Steve learned to take women out for fondue from your father?" Bruce questioned.

Tony shook his head.

"Fondue was just a guise for dad. He used to tell me, "Nothing breaks down a woman's walls like a pot of warm cheese". It gives her an excuse to say she's never done anything like it before, which opens up the conversation to _other _things she's never done before. Then, sometime during the date she'll spill something, probably fish for a compliment and after that it's a done deal."

"A done deal? You mean, it was that simple for your father to just…?"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Women aren't that complicated if you're not afraid of them."

"I'm not afraid of them." Bruce objected.

"Right, I forgot, you're just opting out of the whole relationship experience because of the Hulk. I'm surprised you're so calm, actually. It doesn't bother you that Rodgers is planning on going the fondue route with our little Tabby cat?" Tony inquired, setting down his scotch long enough to focus on a computer monitor, scanning the test results quickly.

"Steve is entitled to invite Tabby to fondue, and Tabby is entitled to accept or decline, depending on what she wants." Bruce replied automatically.

"You aren't even a little bit worried about America's wonderboy stepping up to the plate?" Tony demanded cynically.

"You know that we're talking about Steve, right? I'm sure he's harmless." Bruce replied, chewing on the cap of his pen as he examined the test results.

Tony scowled.

"You don't care enough."

Bruce chuckled.

"You care too much. Why are you so offended about this, anyway?"

"I just don't think Tabby is the kind of girl you fondue with." Tony muttered, shrugging.

Bruce rolled his eyes as he continued to analyze the test results, not too worried about Tony's comments. Steve might have invited Tabby to fondue, but there was no pressing danger as far as the scientist knew. Steve had only had a single girlfriend in his entire lifetime and the relationship hadn't lasted more than a few months. The chances were better than not that he had no idea what to do beyond inviting Tabby on the date. Even if Steve did know what he was doing, Tabby had opted to kiss Bruce the previous night instead. As far as he knew, Tabby wasn't even remotely interested in Steve.

At least, he hoped she wasn't.

* * *

Tabby chewed her upper lip as she sat in her room, trying to come up with a nice way of rejecting Steve before it was his turn for Tabby-duty.

If she simply told him that she had been half-asleep when she had accepted his offer for a date, he would just offer again.

She would have to figure out a way to get him to understand that she wasn't interested without hurting his feelings.

There was a knock on the door, sending a wave of panic shooting through Tabby's stomach.

"Um, yeah, come in." She called, trying to regain her composure.

Steve entered the room sporting a sheepish grin.

"Hey, Tabby, how are you?"

"I'm just fine. I'm surprised to see you looking so collected. I thought you were going to get torn apart when Thor joined your little fight this morning." Tabby teased.

Steve chuckled, sitting down in one of the chairs that were scattered around the room.

"As long as he leaves the hammer out of it, it's a pretty fair fight between Thor and I. Barton is the one who doesn't fight fair. He always has a knife or something in those vests of his." He replied, smiling at Tabby.

Tabby laughed, shaking her head.

"I can't believe how intense you guys are. The only time my guy friends from back home would fight would be if they were completely drunk. Even then, they'd all get bloody noses and cry like babies after about five minutes." She giggled.

"Maybe it's a good thing that the average man doesn't fight that much. It could be a small step towards world peace." Steve responded, shrugging.

"Maybe everyone is just a coward nowadays." Tabby countered with a smile.

"That could be it, too. I think that statement would probably hold true for Stark. He's all bark and no bite, unless he's got a suit of armor protecting him. You know, he had a meltdown when I told him that we were getting fondue."

Tabby bit down on her lip.

"Right, about that. Um, Natasha was telling me about it this morning. The thing is, I don't really remember having that conversation with you. I think I was probably half-asleep when you said something about it." She explained lightly with a small smile.

"I guess I should have figured as much. You were sort of slurring your words." Steve chuckled, nodding his head.

"Well, that might have actually been the mead." Tabby reminded him, laughing.

"So, do you still want to get fondue, then?" Steve asked with an easygoing smile, clearly not expecting anything but a positive response from Tabby.

Tabby forced herself to smile.

"You know, I would love nothing more to go get fondue with you, but I need to clarify something with you, first."

Steve nodded eagerly.

"This isn't a date…is it?"

Steve coughed nervously as Tabby stared at him curiously.

"What? No! No, of course not. I just heard about fondue while I was in Europe and never got the chance to try it. I thought that, you know, since you like food, you might like fondue. Uh, I invited the rest of the guys too. Did you…did you want it to be a date?" He rambled, not meeting Tabby's eyes.

"Oh, great. No, I mean, you're a total sweetheart, Steve, and any girl would be beyond lucky to have you, but I'm not really ready to jump into the whole dating game. You know, getting dumped by a demigod kind of messed me up a little bit."

Steve nodded, his eyebrows furrowing.

"You're still in love with him?" He asked, sparing a glance at Tabby.

"Well, yeah. I mean, I'm not going to jump off a cliff about it anymore, but we dated for like, six months, you know? And he was just so different from all of the other guys I dated. You don't just forget someone like that after a few weeks, you know?" She replied, shooting Steve an apologetic look.

"No, you definitely don't. I think I'll always love Maggie. She was, uh, the woman that I left behind when I, you know, went under. I'm not saying that I'll never love again, but I think there'll always be a place in my heart for her." Steve said with a half-hearted smile.

"It's a good thing this isn't a date, then. I think the combination of our emotional baggage would drown us before we even had a chance." Tabby laughed, patting Steve's arm.

"Yeah, you're probably right. So, why don't you tell me a little bit more about Loki? This time I'm not trying to extort information out of you, I'm just curious." The soldier said, his crystal eyes focusing on Tabby, who smiled.

"Of course, but you have to tell me about Maggie when I'm done. Did I ever tell you about the time Loki got jealous of this guy I was working with in the library?"

* * *

"Oh, shit. Hey, Tony, how fast do you think you can get Thor into the lab?" Bruce asked as he scanned the analysis he had run on the test results.

Tony looked up from the sandwich he had been eating in surprise.

"Um, right away, why?" He asked, his voice muffled by the food in his mouth.

"If my assumptions are correct, and I did all of the math to the analysis right, it looks like one of the infinity stones might have shifted while we were running the tests."

"What do you mean 'shifted'?"

Bruce removed his glasses and tossed them on a nearby desk as he turned to look at Tony.

"I think we might have a lead on what Loki has been up to."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

"Director Fury, we got your urgent text. Where's Rodgers?" Natasha asked, surveying the conference room as she and Barton entered.

"He's watching Tabby. Given what we might be encountering in the next few hours, I think it would be good if we kept someone with her." Fury responded, gesturing for the two assassins to have a seat.

"What about Thor? Is he making sure Steve doesn't get too handsy?" Barton snickered.

"I hope that you're not suggesting that Captain Rodgers is being inappropriate with our guest." Fury growled, glowering back at Barton.

Bruce swallowed hard from where he was sitting, hoping that Director Fury was unaware of what had happened at the sleepover party the previous night.

"Well…" Tony said, pretending to be very interested in his coffee as the rest of the table turned to look at him.

Fury spared Tony a brief glare before turning to look at Bruce.

"Never mind. We have more important things on our hands. Dr. Banner and Stark have estimated that one of the infinity stones has been moving throughout the past few hours. We think that Loki may be behind this. Thor is out looking for him now." Fury explained.

"Do we know what the stone he's moving with can do? I don't know if we can handle a repeat of the tesseract." Natasha inquired, looking around the table at her colleagues.

"Uh, no, I don't think that it would be as severe as the tesseract, especially because we're catching it before it enters this realm. If the stone is something that Thor can't handle, he's going to pull backup from Asgard before he asks us for help. They're more equipped to deal with the stones." Bruce explained, nodding towards Natasha.

"If Thor does catch Loki, what are we going to do? Is there any plan of action, or are we just going to make him sit around while we scramble to find a cell for him?" Barton asked, leaning back in his chair as he stared at Fury expectantly.

"We already have a cell designated to Loki. If and when Thor locates him, he will bring Loki back, where we will put him in the cell. In the interest of safety, I'm asking for one of you to guard Loki at all times." Fury explained.

"Seriously? First we have Tabby-duty, now Loki-duty? Fury, are we ever going to sleep again?" Tony complained.

"That's enough, Stark. Both Tabby Baker and Loki are still on our threat watch and need to be treated accordingly." Fury barked.

Tony rolled his eyes, ignoring the looks that he was receiving from his colleagues.

"If Loki is moving with the stone, it should take Thor about three more hours to find him. We should probably get his cell and the watch schedule together before then." Bruce reminded Fury.

Fury nodded, distributing a file to each of the Avengers sitting at the table before gesturing for them to follow him.

Each of the files contained a schedule which included times to monitor both Loki and Tabby, along with the dates for each planned meeting the team would have. Additionally, there was background information on the stone Loki was likely running off with, which, Bruce had to admit to himself, were mostly just scientific guesses that he and Tony took chances on.

The team got up to follow Fury, who had already exited the room, walking towards the direction of the cell.

"This better not take too long. I have to go talk to a prisoner about the dangers of fondue." Tony muttered under his breath, shooting a dark look in Fury's direction before following the rest of his colleagues to the cell that had been made up for Loki.

* * *

"Loki!" Thor roared, relieved and infuriated to see his older brother miles from the coordinates that Bruce Banner had given him.

It was not ideal to be placed in an unexpected situation – Thor had learned this long ago – but he was relieved that Loki was nowhere near the coordinates that Bruce Banner and Tony Stark had calculated as the approximate destinations of the infinity stones.

The god of mischief looked around wildly, surprised to hear his brother's voice ringing through Svartalfheim, a deserted realm that had been hosting him for months.

Loki stood up slowly, unsure of whether to be pleased at the sight of his brother, or concerned about the punishment he would be forced to face after breaking his word and leaving Midgard prematurely.

"Brother. To what do I owe this tremendous pleasure?" He questioned, eying Thor warily as the larger man strode over to him.

"I do not bear welcomed tidings, unfortunately. You must return to Midgard with me. I will take you to the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters to discuss your actions with Nicholas Fury. He believes you may bear ill-will." Thor explained apologetically.

"And if I do not wish to leave my new home?" Loki challenged, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Do not make me fight you, Loki." Thor pleaded.

Loki held up his hands dismissively, smirking slightly.

"I am not challenging you to fight. I have learned my lesson in that regard. I am simply airing my preferences. I would not like to leave Svartalfheim, nor do I believe it is a necessity."

"You may return here once you have spoken to the soldiers at S.H.I.E.L.D. if you wish." Thor replied hesitantly, glancing around him in confusion.

There was no telling why Loki preferred this place. It was dark and barren. For someone who enjoyed mischief as thoroughly as Loki did, this did not seem like a very entertaining venue.

"I suppose I have no other options?" Loki wondered aloud, his eyes flicking around the dark environment before meeting Thor's bright eyes.

"I am afraid not."

"Very well." Loki sighed, outstretching his hands to allow Thor to slap on the pair of handcuffs he had been attempting to conceal during their conversation.

Thor nodded, gingerly constricting Loki's wrists before glancing upwards, indicating to Heimdall that he was ready to return to Midgard.

With a burst of light, the two men returned to the roof of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, and back to the realm where Loki had experienced fear that he hadn't known to exist prior to meeting Tabby Baker.

* * *

"We have Thor and Loki on the roof. I repeat, we have Thor and Loki on the roof." Agent Hill's voice rang through each of the Avengers' earpieces – aside from Steve, who had taken his out before the sleepover party the previous night and hadn't found the time to put it back in – blasting each and every one of their ears in an _incredibly _unpleasant way.

"Jesus Fury, do you think you could find someone a little less, I don't know, irritating, to give us these play-by-plays? I don't think I can handle Hill screaming in my ear anymore." Tony grumbled as the team headed towards the roof.

"You know these earpieces work both ways, right, Stark?" Hill reminded him coldly.

"I do; I was hoping you would take the hint." Tony countered.

"I don't really value your opinion." Hill responded.

"I can't work like this. You're like a goddamn gnat in my ear right now. Nick, make her shut the fuck up." Tony complained, taking his earpiece out of his ear and slipping it into his pocket as Agent Hill continued the now one-sided argument.

Bruce and Barton both chuckled quietly while Natasha rolled her eyes.

"We've got more important things to worry about than what voices you do and don't like, Mr. Stark." Fury stated, opening the door to the roof without so much as a glance in Tony's direction.

Tony tightened his iron man armbands around his wrists as they all walked out onto the roof, where Thor and Loki seemed to be in the middle of a conversation.

Seeing his old enemies, Loki turned around, flashing them all a wide smile.

"Ah, the Avengers. But wait, one of you is missing. Tell me, Director, where is the self-righteous Captain America? I was so looking forward to a rousing speech on the dangers of breaking promises and the importance of honesty." Loki drawled, smirking at the Avengers, who glared back at him.

"Captain America is tending to another prisoner we're currently hosting." Fury answered, watching Loki cautiously.

"Another prisoner? Am I to understand that I am now a prisoner of S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Loki questioned, raising his eyebrows as he continued to smirk.

Fury shrugged.

"That's up to you. If you tell us why you left this realm and your story checks out, we'll send you on your way."

"And if my story doesn't check out?" Loki inquired.

"Then we might not be as willing to send you on your way." Fury replied.

Loki nodded, making direct eye contact with Bruce, who quickly averted his eyes.

"I must ask, Dr. Banner, how did you manage to find me? I thought I was being quite clever by selecting a realm that most Asgardians don't even think of more than twice throughout their lifespan." The god of mischief inquired, his eyes twinkling at the delight of tormenting such an easily provoked beast.

"Uh, tracking algorithms. Thor, did you check him for any of the stones?" Bruce responded, carefully avoiding meeting Loki's amused gaze as he looked for any signs of a recovered infinity stone.

Thor shook his head.

"I found Loki on Svartalfheim purely by chance. He did not have any infinity stones in his possession." He explained with an oddly proud look overtaking his face.

"Then I guess we just found you through dumb luck, Loki." Bruce said with a small smile, turning to follow the rest of the Avengers as Thor led Loki into the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters.

"Dumb luck is my brother's area of expertise." Loki jibbed, smirking at Thor, who chuckled.

"Not that I'm not enjoying this happy little reunion, but can we just get to the point, here? Loki, what the hell were you doing out there? I have shit to do, and my time is becoming increasingly limited." Tony demanded, his eyes narrowing as they all stopped in front of the cell that was designated for Loki.

"And you're usually the friendly one. Tsk, tsk, S.H.I.E.L.D. has changed you, Tony Stark." Loki teased, shaking his head at the annoyed billionaire in front of him.

"Yeah, some asshole dragged me into this business when he decided to take over the world. Now I have to juggle saving the world, a multi-billion dollar corporation, and a girlfriend who is _convinced _that she is the greatest thing to ever happen to me." Tony responded.

Loki smirked.

"Perhaps you should limit yourself further. Only two of those engagements sound particularly compelling to me."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Just answer the question so we can all get out of here."

Loki shrugged.

"I was simply taking what you mortals call a 'vacation'. Some of you have been through your upper-level education system, I am sure that you are well aware of the strain it puts on its students both mentally and physically. I decided it would be prudent to take a break and clear my mind prior to finals." He responded coolly.

"You mean to tell me that you decided to break all of the rules we set aside because you were tired of going to class?" Fury questioned cynically.

"Am I to assume that my answer was not satisfactory?" Loki questioned, still looking amused as he scanned the faces of his audience.

"Thor, would you please introduce Loki to his cell? You'll be free to return to Asgard when you can provide us with the _real _story." Fury commanded.

Thor swallowed hard before nodded, gesturing towards the door to the cell.

Loki grinned, following Thor.

"You needn't worry, brother. I know that it is not you who is putting me in a cage. It is simply an occupational duty." He assured the god of thunder.

Thor nodded, his face still riddled with guilt as he shut and locked the door behind his brother.

"Well, what do we do now? Keep him here until he dies? Torture him until he tells you whatever it is that you want him to say? This isn't Guantanamo bay, Director. There's not much we can do if he's lying." Bruce reminded Fury as they walked away from the cell containing a smirking Loki.

"So, you think we should just let the god of mischief walk away because we can't tell if he's lying?" Natasha asked, looking at Bruce like he was stupid.

"Natasha is right, Bruce, we can't just let him get off scot-free. Why didn't you just tell him that we've got Tabby here? Maybe he'd tell us if he knew that we had his ex-girlfriend as collateral." Barton suggested quietly.

Thor and Bruce both protested loudly.

"I don't think we should be using a human being as a means for bartering with an international criminal. Besides, we all know Tabby. Do any of you really think that she would even go along with it?" Bruce rationed.

"Tabby Baker and Loki are under my protection. You will not use one against the other." Thor agreed, his stance quickly turning menacing as Fury rested his hands on his hips, opening his mouth to argue.

"Hold on, let's just think this through for a minute. I'm not saying I like using Tabby as a bartering tool any more than either of you seem to, but let's face the facts here: Loki isn't going to tell us what he's been up to without some sort of incentive. He's like the god of lying, isn't he Thor?" Tony questioned, directing his focus to Thor, who looked a little less outraged than Bruce.

"He is very skilled at deception, yes." Thor allowed.

"Right, so like I said, he isn't going to make this easy. We need someone to convince him to cooperate. Natasha, no offense, I think you're a very compelling woman, but things didn't work with you and Loki the last time we had him in captivity. Tabby, on the other hand, dated him for _six months,_"

"Yeah, but Loki broke up with her before he left. How do we even know that he would be interested in listening to what she had to say?" Bruce interrupted, folding his arms across his chest.

Tony snorted.

"This is _Tabby _we're talking about. She could talk a priest into leaving the church. She could probably talk Rodgers into leaving America. Hell, even Natasha likes her! Loki wasn't above her charm a few months ago. Maybe he'll fall for it again. She's our best chance." He reasoned.

"Guys, he does have a point. Tabby is very charismatic. She might just be able to get him to talk." Natasha agreed hesitantly.

"We're going to save her as a last resort. We don't want to throw those two together if we don't have to," Nick Fury started, glaring at all of the Avengers who seemed to have forgotten that they were not in charge.

"I think that's smart." Bruce interrupted, nodding his head vigorously.

Tony rolled his eyes as Fury continued.

"We're going to tell Loki that we have Tabby, but we don't want them to conspire. As far as we know, Loki was trying to throw us off Tabby's scent by breaking up with her prior to his departure. Now; Thor, I want you to search the realm where you found Loki for any signs of an infinity stone. He might not have had the stone on him when you found him, but he could have been hiding it. Banner, Stark, I want you two to make sure that you're _positive _one of the stones was moving. Barton, I want to talk to you about heightening the security around Loki. Natasha, you should probably tell Rodgers that we've got our fugitive."

Everyone nodded and proceeded to follow Fury's instructions while the Director pulled out his cell phone, beckoning Agent Hill, as he always did when there was an emergency that he didn't quite know how to handle.

* * *

"Wait, so Maggie really _shot _at you?" Tabby asked incredulously, grinning at Steve, who nodded his head and chuckled.

The two were sitting on Tabby's bed facing each other, both completely immersed in the conversation that they were having.

"Yeah. I deserved it, though." He responded, running a hand through his blonde hair.

Tabby laughed.

"I'm sure you did! What did you do?" She asked, leaning forward to hear Steve's answer.

"This other dame…well, she, uh…I mean, she _was _very beautiful, but I…I've never really…you know." He stammered, reddening at the memory.

"Steve, you dog! Are you trying to tell me that you cheated on Maggie with another girl?" Tabby questioned with a wicked smile.

"No! No, of course not. Maggie and I weren't…I mean, I loved her from day one, but I never really thought that she would give me the time of day until I turned into this. It's just…this woman in the headquarters was talking about a rescue mission I went on, and she was talking about thanking me for all of the wives in America, and the next thing I know, she's _kissing _me and Maggie is there. It was a mess." Steve explained, not meeting Tabby's eyes as he blushed deeply.

Tabby laughed, shaking her head.

"Aw, now that I can believe. So this hoe comes out of nowhere, kisses you, and Maggie caught you in the act? Did you try to tell Maggie that it wasn't your fault?"

"What? No, no, of course not. The blonde woman was very nice, and I'm sure under any other circumstances it would have been a nice gesture. I would have been upset if I saw any other guy kissing Maggie, too." Steve replied, shrugging.

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"Maybe, but…oh, I don't know, you're just too nice to everyone. I don't know how Maggie could possibly think to shoot at you. I mean, you're such a guy, and I would probably try to kill someone that cheated on me, but…the world would be losing such a sweetheart if she missed the shield." She said, smiling at Steve, who chuckled and averted his eyes.

"I don't blame her. And I think you would do the same thing, given the chance. Didn't you say that you told some of your friends that Loki was gay before you were dating?" Steve countered with a grin.

"Yeah, but that was different. That was me doing everything that I needed to in order to get the guy I wanted. I mean, Loki put one of the best history professors in the United States to shame in the middle of a lecture hall. He was pretty hot on the market when I first met him." Tabby giggled.

"I think I'd rather get shot at then have someone I care about tell others lies about me." Steve teased.

"Aw, it was just a little white lie. Overall, I'd say that I was _helping _him. The other girls at Princeton are bitches. I'm pretty much the cream of the crop." Tabby joked, beaming as if she genuinely believed her statement.

"I'm sure you are." Steve agreed readily.

"No, I actually wasn't. Oh, my god, did I tell you about the time that I accidentally forgot to wear a shirt to my 8am lecture?"

Steve's eyebrows furrowed.

"I don't think that you did."

"Oh, it was so embarrassing I thought that I was going to die. It took _years _for people to forget about it. Y'see, I lived about fifteen minutes off-campus, so I had to leave my apartment sort of early to make it to class on time. That morning I guess I wasn't really thinking, so I just threw a jacket on without worrying about a shirt, and in the middle of the lecture, I decided that it was too hot, so I took off my shirt and,"

A knock interrupted Tabby's story, causing her and Steve to laugh.

"Come in!" Tabby called, smirking at Steve as he jumped off her bed, eager to avoid being caught in a situation that may have seemed inappropriate to anyone else.

Natasha strode into the room, glancing around for a moment before setting her gaze on Steve.

"Captain, I need to talk to you for a minute." She muttered.

"Is everything okay?" Steve questioned, starting to follow Natasha to the doorway.

Tabby raised her eyebrows, straining her ears to hear the conversation that the two Avengers were having.

"Yes and no. We've uh, we've got him."

"Him?" Steve echoed quietly, sparing a quick glance back at Tabby, who pretended not to be listening to the conversation.

Tabby's heart sank at the next sentence.

"We've captured Loki."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

"Hello again, Loki. I thought that you weren't going to give us any more trouble?" Nick Fury growled as he approached Loki's cell, hoping to extract the real story of what the demigod had been doing in another realm.

Loki chuckled, walking closer to the glass wall of the cell, where he could get a better look at Fury.

"And just what trouble have I caused?"

"You know damn well that you were supposed to stay in New Jersey until your brother was willing to take you back to Asgard. We overlooked the times you traveled to other parts of the country – something you should thank Jane Foster for – but you were not supposed to leave the realm without Thor."

Loki rolled his eyes at the mention of his brother.

He would undoubtedly receive a lecture from the Neanderthal once Fury was done speaking to him.

"Now, I need you to tell me exactly what you were doing in the other realm and with whom."

Loki sneered.

"Trying to update your threat list, are you? Unfortunately, I am unable to produce the information you seem to so desperately crave. I was simply taking a break before I was overwhelmed with the stressful week of exams. Certainly you remember that education can be tiresome."

Nick Fury folded his arms across his chest.

"You mean to tell me that you were taking a leisurely stroll through different realms in order to clear your mind? You expect me to believe that after you failed to enslave an entire race not too long ago?"

Loki shrugged, still smirking.

"You have little faith in me, Director Fury."

"I think I have the appropriate amount of faith."

"Very well. I suppose you're going to torture me until you get any answer you want out of me?" Loki questioned, still looking amused.

It was Fury's turn to smirk.

"Not exactly. I'm going to leave you right here until you're ready to talk. You might want to do so quickly, though. Tabby Baker has finals to attend to in two weeks."

Loki's eyes widened as he fought to maintain his composure.

He was the god of lies; he knew when enemies were lying to him, or bluffing to get the upper hand. Nick Fury was doing neither of those things.

"Your quarrel is with me, not the girl. Why involve her? I thought your organization prided itself on protecting the human race?"

"It does, but if we have to risk one person for the good of everyone else, you'd better be damn sure that we're going to do it. Now, are you prepared to tell me what you were really doing in the other realms?"

Loki met Fury's glare with an even darker one.

"I have already told you, Director; I was taking a break from graduate school. I intended to return in time for finals."

Fury shook his head, still smirking.

"I guess I'll go check in on Tabby. I'm sure your brother is doing a fine job of keeping her company. Or, at least, a better job than you're going to be able to do so long as you refuse to talk."

Loki slammed his fist against the wall of his cell as he watched Fury walk away.

* * *

Tabby buried her face in a pillow as she sat alone in her room.

Steve had run off with Natasha after hearing that S.H.I.E.L.D. had Loki in custody, and due to the revised schedule that Nick Fury had distributed, it would be a few hours before anyone else had Tabby-duty.

She was surprised when she heard her door open and close quickly.

Looking up, she saw a frantic-looking Tony Stark standing in front of her.

"Tony, hi," She said hesitantly, glancing around for any signs of Loki.

It was stupid, and she hated herself for it, but after months of being separated from him, she was dying to see that stupid smirk of his. At this point, she would even settle for just hearing one of his many complaints about how sloppy she looked.

"Hey, Tabby, crazy day we've been having, huh?"

Tabby raised her eyebrows.

She hadn't known him for too long, but she had known Tony Stark long enough to know that he didn't beat around the bush. He never had a reason to; as far as she could tell, nothing seemed to make the billionaire uncomfortable.

"Are you okay? You're acting, I don't know, different. Are you nervous about Loki being here?" She questioned, watching Tony as he darted towards a chair.

"No, no, I don't care if we have reindeer games in custody. Better here than running amuck and destroying my home for the second time, right? I actually wanted to talk to you about your date with Rodgers." He replied, his dark eyes meeting Tabby's hesitantly.

"Oh, really?" Tabby responded, unable to bite back a smile.

It would have been more humane to correct Tony and let him know that she wouldn't dream of going on a date with Steve, but this was more fun. She wanted to see just where he was going with the whole 'concerned Tony' thing.

Oh, god. When had she started to enjoy watching people squirm? She was turning into Loki.

"I don't think it's smart for you to go 'fondue-ing' with him. Speaking as your elder and your superior, I think that Captain is just icky." Tony explained with a slight smile.

"You think Steve is icky? Really? What's so bad about him? He's tall, handsome, muscular, and a total sweetheart." Tabby objected with an amused grin.

Tony shook his head quickly.

"No, no. He's just playing up the innocent 'man-out-of-time' act. The dude went through World War II and saw his best friend die right in front of him. I'd say he's just as fucked up as the rest of us. Actually, I can explain exactly what 'fondue' means to you. He learned it from my father."

Tabby stared at Tony expectantly, trying to refrain from laughing.

"Okay, please tell me about the dangers of fondue." She allowed, unable to help cracking a smile as Tony scowled.

"I'm serious, Tabby. My father would always take some slutty women out for fondue then bring them back to the house for some cheap sex. It seems that our little Captain America was paying attention when he met Howard Stark."

Tabby couldn't stop herself from laughing.

"You think that Steve is taking me out for fondue so that I'll sleep with him? Really? I mean, I know that men as a whole are supposed to be hellbent on getting laid, but you can't honestly tell me that you believe that Steve would take advantage of me." She rationed, shaking her head at Tony in amusement.

Tony frowned.

"I'm just trying to help. Everyone bitches at me for not helping, and when I finally try to help someone, they ridicule me. Christ." He growled, starting to get up.

Tabby forced herself to keep a straight face as she jumped off of her bed and grabbed Tony's arm, encouraging him to remain in the room with her.

"I'm sorry, that was mean. I just wanted to know what your rationale was. If it makes you feel any better, I already talked to Steve earlier today. We're going to get fondue, but it isn't a date. Apparently everyone who wants to go is invited. Why were you so worried about Steve and I 'fondue-ing', anyway? Got a secret crush on me, Stark?" She teased, smiling at him good-naturedly.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, no, I'm not in the Tabby fan-club around here. I'm letting Steve and Bruce duke it out for the title of president. I just wanted to make sure that you knew what you were getting yourself into, uh, you know, because Bruce would be a pain in the ass to deal with if he was moping about you and Rodgers all day long." He responded gruffly.

"Right, right, you were just thinking about Bruce. How noble of you. Oh, wait a minute, I almost forgot: you're actually _not _that noble. Come on, out with it." Tabby prodded, eying Tony expectantly.

Tony groaned.

"I think you might be pushier than Pepper."

"When the subject matter includes me, I think I have every right to be pushy."

"Maybe I just hate Rodgers." Tony commented with a shrug.

"No one meets Steve and just hates him right off the bat. He's too nice. What has he ever done to you?" Tabby questioned.

Tony chuckled.

"You're talking about him like you think he's Jesus."

"You're talking about him like you think he's Satan."

Tony shrugged.

"He might as well be, I suppose."

"Oh, really? You think that _Captain America _is the devil? Seriously; clue me in here. What's the deal with you two? I mean, I know that you hate each other, but it can't be just some kind of personality clash. Like, you _really _don't like each other."

"Thank you for informing me of my feelings towards Rodgers. They were really unclear to me up until now." Tony muttered.

Tabby shrugged, smirking at Tony.

"I'm just trying to get you to open up a little bit. If you want to keep it to yourself, that's fine. I won't die of disappointment. Just keep in mind; you're turning down a completely free therapy session from someone who really doesn't have the track record to judge anyone." She reminded him with a smile.

Tony rolled his eyes and grunted.

"I'll tell you what my problem is on two conditions."

"You're going to have to tell me the conditions before I agree to them."

"I was getting to that."

"You might want to hurry up."

"Patience is a virtue." Tony teased.

"Yeah, well, I'm not very virtuous." Tabby countered with a grin.

"Fair point," Tony allowed, "my first condition is that you don't tell anyone about this conversation. As far as you're concerned, it never happened."

Tabby shrugged and nodded.

"Yeah, okay, fine. What's your other condition?"

"You have to invite Banner to get fondue with you and Rodgers."

Tabby rolled her eyes.

"Fine. Now, are you going to tell me what your problem is, or am I going to have to ask Steve over a nice warm pot of fondue?"

Tony's eyes narrowed.

"Rodgers was my father's entire life. He was his number one reason for being. I was a distant third, maybe fourth. That kind of childhood sort of ruins my chances of ever really liking the lab rat." He explained briefly, glancing around the room in order to avoid eye contact with Tabby.

"Wait a minute. I know that your dad was involved in the whole 'turn Steve into a bodybuilder who can jump really high' project, but I didn't know that he and Steve were so close." Tabby commented, looking mildly surprised.

"They weren't fuck-buddies, if that's what you're implying. I'm pretty sure that Rodgers would spontaneously combust at the thought of dating another man. When there were rumors about Banner and I…well, let's just say that it took a _long _time for him to make eye contact with either of us for more than a few seconds." Tony responded, rolling his eyes.

"Hold the phone. You and Bruce?" Tabby inquired, her jaw dropping.

She vaguely remembered reading a news story that reported Tony dating a man, but she hadn't thought much of the story. After all, Tony was a self-proclaimed playboy. The chances were better than not that he wasn't too picky about just who he was playing with at any given time. Still…_Bruce_? She couldn't imagine the shy scientist deciding that it would be a good idea to jump into a relationship with Tony.

Oh, shit. What if Bruce was gay? What if he was only interested in being Tabby's friend? Everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. had joked about a crush he might have had on her, but it could have really been just a joke. He could have kissed her the night before in order to make Tony jealous. Tony _had _asked where Bruce was shortly after Tabby had reentered the media room after kissing the scientist.

Oh, Christ.

First, she had fallen in love with an intergalactic villain against her better judgment, and now she had made a move on a gay scientist.

Welp.

Tony let out a loud snort, drawing Tabby's attention back to the obnoxious billionaire.

"It was just an April Fool's joke. I'll explain that another time. The point is, Rodgers didn't have _that _kind of relationship with my father. It was more like a relationship you'd typically expect from a father and son. My father believed that he created Steve. He believed that he created the perfect human being possible. I couldn't compare to that."

Tabby's eyebrows furrowed.

"But Steve was definitely under the ice by the time you were born…wasn't he?" She asked.

Tony smirked, running his hand through his hair.

"Yeah, he was. But if you wanted to find Howard Stark, you'd probably find him either out searching the sea floor, or mapping out locations where the great Captain America was just waiting for help. He couldn't be dead, he was indestructible. Now that I've met him, I can see that he's picked up a few things from my dad. More things than I have."

Tabby nodded, beginning to feel genuinely sorry for Tony.

She knew from personal experience that having disinterested parents really stung, but her parents had at least been shitty parents all-around. They hadn't taken a shine to anyone throughout their lives, nor had they given Tabby any reason to believe they could parent anyone better than they had parented her. Tony had not been afforded the same courtesy.

"Well, maybe that's a good thing. From the sound of it, you don't want to be like your dad, anyway." She reminded him with a small smile.

"I just don't understand what made Rodgers so goddamn special. Sure, he's a test-tube success in the most basic regard, but he can't even tell you how a light bulb works. He's an idiot. It doesn't make sense."

"I think the only person that could answer your question would be your father, and I'm not sure you'd even want to hear it. He was just a shitty dad. Those happen."

"I guess you'd know just as well as I would. Let me ask you something, if you don't lash out against the people who remind you of what shitty parents you have, how the hell do you stay sane?" Tony asked, beginning to smile as Tabby laughed.

"Um, well, I probably shouldn't tell a government agent this, but what the hell, you're Tony Stark. I doubt that you'd turn me in. To be perfectly honest with you, after smoking some pot and maybe finding a cute guy to serve as a distraction, having shitty parents doesn't seem so important. I mean, look at us. We're adults, now. We're past the parenting age. We've officially survived the worst. If I do say so myself; we turned out pretty fucking awesome, too."

Tony chuckled, nodding his head.

"Maybe you're right. I haven't lit up in ages. Pepper thinks that it's bad for me."

"Really? Pepper thinks that? I mean, I know she's straight-laced, but you drink about a gallon of scotch on the daily and you fight aliens for a hobby. I don't think smoking a little bit is going to do more harm than either of those." Tabby replied, laughing.

"It's not necessarily the immediate medical effects that she's worried about. Apparently smoking makes me an asshole. She's worried that someone might kill me every time I do it." He explained with a grin.

"Oh, please. You're always an asshole. I say you go for it. Pepper left for the office after breakfast this morning; she won't know if you go missing for a couple of hours. Carpe Diem." Tabby encouraged.

"I think you might be the only person I've ever met who openly encourages bad habits." Tony commented with an amused grin.

"I wouldn't go so far as to call it a _bad habit. _Besides, if it means that you'll stop trying to kill Steve, I think it's a swell idea."

"Did you just say swell?"

"I did."

"Are you baked?"

"Ugh, I wish."

"Hey, I've got an idea." Tony mused with a grin.

"What? Have you figured out how to end global warming? Did you realize that time travel is possible? Are you going to tell me exactly how to reverse black holes?" Tabby teased.

"No, no. You can't end global warming, the Earth is still emerging from the most recent ice age, and it would be safer to leave black holes the way they are. Honestly, what _does _Banner see in you? What I was going to say was; I think you should come light up with me." Tony responded.

Tabby raised her eyebrows at him.

"You do realize that I'm like, persona non grata around here, right? I mean, sure, you guys like me and all, but mean eye patch man has so kindly reminded me that I'm still a prisoner here until he figures out that I had nothing to do with whatever Loki's been doing. I don't think leaving to light up with one of the Avengers the same day that Loki's been captured is really a smart move on either of our parts." She reminded him.

Tony shrugged.

"Try to fuck anything up, I'll rip you apart. Deal?"

Tabby shrugged with a smile.

"Sounds like a pretty fair deal."

"Good." Tony grinned as he walked towards the door, glancing back at Tabby expectantly as she did so.

With one last glance around her, Tabby skipped out the door behind Tony, grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe I'm about to get high with Tony Stark."

* * *

"Do you think that he's done anything wrong?" Jane Foster questioned softly, carefully avoiding eye contact with Thor, who hadn't said a word to her since he had returned from incarcerating his older brother.

Jane felt a chill run down her spine as Thor's bright eyes met hers.

There no sparkle in his eyes; no sign of joviality.

She could tell from the grim look on his face that he had been asking himself a similar question repeatedly throughout the course of the day.

Jane knew that Thor took everything that Loki did personally – they were brothers, after all – and this was definitely not a proud moment for the Odin family.

"I do not know. I would like to believe that my brother has done nothing wrong." He responded, his eyebrows furrowing as he finally looked away from Jane.

"I think we all would. Maybe he's telling the truth. He did seem different at Christmas, didn't he?" She said, placing a hand on Thor's muscular arm.

"He did. I spoke highly of him to our parents. They will be most displeased with me when they hear that Loki is back to his tricks. I fear I am just as unintelligent as Loki so frequently suggests." The demigod sighed.

"Now we both know that's not true. Loki just likes picking on people. He said far worse about some of the best professors in the country, and those men have certificates to prove that they know more than the average person. He just teases you because he's jealous of you. I'd be more worried if he was completely apathetic towards you." Jane argued.

"Perhaps you're right. Loki did not swing at me during our encounter. I am hopeful this means he will strive for a peaceful resolve." Thor agreed, starting to perk up at the thought.

"Me too. Do you think there's any way we can try to find out if Loki is telling the truth without getting into trouble? I could ask around Princeton, maybe see if there's anyone else he was talking to before he left? Are there any files we could pull, any places we could visit?" Jane inquired, beginning to pace around her apartment anxiously.

Thor stared at her curiously, unable to provide an answer to any of her questions.

"You know what? I bet I could get Darcy to get some files out of the S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. She's dating some guy who does a lot of the paperwork at S.H.I.E.L.D. I'll try talking to some professors when I get back to work tomorrow, maybe see if Loki was acting out of the ordinary before he left." Jane offered, a smile spreading across her face.

"I will speak to Loki once more. There's no telling whether or not he'll listen to me, but it is worth a try." Thor added, forcing himself to smile as he followed Jane towards the door of her apartment.

Jane smiled up at Thor, relieved that she had gotten her devastated beau to cheer up, at least for the time being.

Now, if she could only prove that Loki really _hadn't _done anything wrong.

* * *

Bruce was re-analyzing the data that had proved unfruitful in the efforts to find Loki when there was a loud knock, followed by a large dent appearing on the door.

Bruce chuckled to himself as he looked up from the data.

"Let me guess: Steve or Thor?" He called, grinning as the door began to open.

Steve popped his head in the door, sporting a small smile.

"Hey, Dr. Banner. Sorry about the door. I, uh, I guess I still forget about my own strength sometimes." He said apologetically, shooting the scientist a sheepish grin as he approached the desk that Bruce was sitting at.

Bruce waved off Steve's apology.

"Don't even worry about it. You control the effects of the serum a lot better than I do. What can I help you with?" He asked with a kind smile.

"I wanted to ask you about two things, actually. First, I, uh, I was talking to Tabby and we decided that it'd be fun to go for fondue sometime. I thought it would be nice if we could all go, you know, as a group. You know, the sleepover party was fun, so I thought we could do something else,"

Bruce smiled; Tony had clearly gotten to Steve if he was inviting the rest of the team to go to fondue with him and Tabby.

Bruce would have to remember to thank Tony when he came back to the lab.

"Yeah, sure. I've got significantly less work now that we've got Loki. Fondue sounds fun. Uh, what was the second thing that you wanted to ask me?" He questioned, trying to bite back a smirk as Steve glanced down at his shoes.

"Oh, right. Well, it's sort of the same subject. Have you seen Tabby recently? I'm supposed to be on Tabby-duty, but I can't track her down."

Bruce's eyebrows furrowed.

"Really? That's strange. I was under the impression that Fury wanted her on lockdown for the day. Have you asked anyone else?" He asked, removing his glasses as he met Steve's eyes.

"I asked Natasha and Barton – they were too busy with Loki to even think about the question – and I asked Thor. He was sitting by Loki's cell with Jane. Neither of them even knew that she was out of her cell. I'm starting to worry. Do you think I should tell Director Fury?" Steve inquired nervously.

Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

The _last _thing he needed was to find out that the first woman he'd allowed himself to get involved with in years was at large terrorizing the city.

Recalling the list of Avengers that Steve had given, the scientist rolled his eyes, his smile returning.

"Have you checked with Stark yet?"

Steve looked up in surprise.

"I thought that Stark was with you."

Bruce glanced around the lab before turning to face Steve once again, shaking his head.

"Unless you see him hiding somewhere in the lab – which wouldn't surprise me a whole lot – then I have no idea where he might be," Bruce shrugged, "maybe he's taken Tabby out for a day on the town. You know, to keep her away from Loki at all costs."

Steve's face hardened.

"You don't think that Stark would be so insolent?" He questioned in disbelief.

Bruce smirked at Steve, who immediately scowled.

"You're right. He would be." The super soldier groaned.

"I'm sure it'll be alright. Tony has reigned his act in a little more since Pepper came into the picture."

Steve clenched his jaw before storming out of the lab, not bothering to say another word to a highly amused Bruce Banner.

Bruce knew better than to get worked up about the situation; Tony was certainly not a posing threat. After all, Tony was his best friend. While he was a notorious flirt when it came to women, he was a loyal friend above all other things. Additionally, he was hellbent on proving that he could be in a committed relationship with Pepper Potts – a determination that was fueled by the fact that the other Avengers were betting on how long the relationship would last – making it highly unlikely that the billionaire would try to proposition Tabby.

As far as he was concerned, allowing Tony to take Tabby away from the headquarters for a day seemed much smarter than letting Tabby sit around her room all day thinking about the return of her demigod ex-boyfriend.

With a sigh, Bruce returned to his calculations.

He wasn't too eager to think about Tabby reuniting with Loki.

At least, not until he had a fair chance to prove he was better suited for her than the god of mischief.

* * *

"Director Fury. I believe that Tony Stark has taken Tabby Baker out of S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters." Steve barked as he entered the conference room, clearly interrupting a conversation that Fury had been having with some people on a computer screen.

Fury turned to stare at Steve for a minute before slamming the laptop shut.

"I'm sorry. I thought you just said that Stark took one of the biggest threats to the world out of our sight." He growled.

Steve swallowed hard.

"I don't have any proof, but none of the other agents have seen him, and Stark is missing too, so I just assumed…"

"We don't assume things here, Captain. It's a good way to fuck everything up." Fury informed the super soldier, brushing past him to exit the conference room.

"But sir, don't you think we should at least _try _to hunt down Tony and ask?" Steve persisted, following the director out into the middle of the office environment.

Fury spared Steve a condescending glare.

"Agent Walker, please pull up the surveillance videos from Ms. Baker's room for the day." Fury requested, staring down an employee who immediately rushed to follow the director's orders.

Within seconds, a video of Tabby's room appeared; displaying the conversation that she had been having with Steve that morning.

Steve's eyes widened as he realized that the director of S.H.I.E.L.D. could see him sitting on Tabby's bed.

"I'm not even going to ask, Rodgers." The director muttered, sensing Steve's embarrassment.

"Hey, wait, stop right there. Can you play this in slow motion?" Steve asked as soon as Tony walked into the frame.

Agent Walker obeyed, glancing back at the two men standing behind him nervously.

Steve watched carefully as Tabby and Tony chatted for what seemed like hours, until finally, the scene he'd been waiting for occurred.

Tony had actually invited Tabby to leave her cell. She had hesitated at first, but it seemed that the billionaire had _insisted _on breaking the rules.

"God damn it, Stark." Fury growled, pulling out his cell phone as quickly as he could.

Steve kept his eyes locked on the computer monitor, his jaw clenching and unclenching as Tabby skipped right over to the grinning billionaire.

Now it all made sense. Tony had been _jealous _when he heard that Steve had asked Tabby to get fondue. He had felt threatened that maybe; just maybe, someone else could get the girl for once. Not being the center of attention killed him.

He had fought dirty to satisfy his own selfish motives.

Well, if Stark wasn't going to fight fair, neither was Steve.

"You'd better watch out, Stark." Steve muttered under his breath.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

"Hey Tony, buddy? Everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. is really worried about you taking off with Tabby. I think you need to bring her back now." Bruce said, biting back a smile as the rest of the Avengers scowled at him.

Once Fury had confirmed that Tony had taken Tabby out of headquarters for some inexplicable reason, he had rushed to the lab to see what Bruce knew about the matter. After Fury figured out that none of the Avengers were even remotely aware of why Tony would take Tabby out, he insisted that Bruce call up the billionaire.

Apparently Bruce was the only one who could get through to Tony. Or at least, Tony didn't interrupt him when he tried.

"Oh, sorry, no can do. We're a little impaired at the moment, and I _think _I gave my driver the day off earlier. Think you can keep mom off my case for a few more hours?" Tony responded with a chuckle.

Bruce couldn't hold back an amused grin.

"What did he say?" Fury demanded instantly.

"Uh," Bruce ran a hand through his dark curls as he figured out how to explain the situation to Fury, "he says that he's too impaired to return to headquarters right now."

A laugh escaped Barton, who quickly disguised the outburst as a cough.

Natasha punched his shoulder swiftly, irritated that he found Stark's antics funny.

"Stark is impaired? We must help him! What is his location?" Thor inquired anxiously.

"He's not _hurt _Thor. I think what Dr. Banner is trying to tell us is that Tony's on _drugs. _Isn't that right, Dr. Banner?" Steve responded coldly, shooting a dark glare at Bruce.

It was bad enough that Tony had taken Tabby without any authorization in an attempt to draw her attention away from the rest of the Avengers vying for her attention. The fact that he had taken drugs while he was with Tabby was unacceptable.

Steve's jaw clenched and unclenched at the thought of Tabby watching Tony do drugs with wide eyes.

She was probably horrified.

Bruce shrugged.

"He didn't really say what was impairing him."

"All right, that's enough of this bullshit. Tell Stark he has an hour to get Tabby Baker back to headquarters or we'll send out agents to bring her back." Fury snarled, slamming his hand down on the table.

Bruce nodded, attempting to hide his smile as he turned his attention back to his phone.

"Look, Fury says that you have an hour to get back here with Tabby, or he's going to send some agents out to bring Tabby back. Chances are, if you let it get to that, you're not going to be in good graces with everyone." Bruce reminded his friend.

Tony sighed loudly.

"It sounds like you all should have joined us. Fury especially needs to load up and relax. Hey Tab, do you know how to get back from headquarters from here?" Tony questioned loudly.

Bruce heard Tabby's voice in the background, but it was too far away to make out exactly what she had said.

"Tony?" He inquired, glancing around at his colleagues apprehensively as he waited for the billionaire to respond.

"Yeah, alright, we're going to start heading back soon. I just have to get some new clothes on and find a Taco Bell. Christ, do I want Taco Bell. I'll see you in an hour, big guy. Tell Fury to lighten up. Tabby was a great prisoner for me the entire time. She did exactly as she was told, and didn't try to kill a single person." Tony responded with a laugh.

"Wait, new clothes? What happened to your old ones?" Bruce demanded, no longer concerned about when Tony was going to get back to the headquarters.

Tony laughed again.

"Don't worry about it, I'll explain later. See you in an hour, bud." He said, hanging up the phone before Bruce could ask any more questions about Tony's clothing situation.

Fury stared at Bruce expectantly as he set down the phone.

"He said they're leaving now. They should be back in an hour or so." Bruce supplied.

"What was that about new clothes?" Steve questioned as Fury exited the room, followed by Barton and Natasha.

Bruce's eyes flicked to meet Steve's warily.

Mentally counting down from ten, the scientist reminded himself that Steve wasn't trying to get on his nerves. That was likely the _last _thing the super soldier intended to do. He was close with Tabby and was likely concerned about what she might be doing with the infamous Tony Stark.

Bruce shouldn't have felt the urge to smash Steve's face in for worrying over something he was worrying about himself.

But he did want to smash his face in.

A lot.

"Dr. Banner?" Steve repeated, beginning to look concerned.

"Perhaps he is unwell." Thor suggested.

"No, no, I'm fine. I'm," Bruce let out a sigh, "fine. What were you saying, Steve?"

"You said something about new clothes when you were talking to Tony. I was just asking what he said about them. I, uh, I just wanted to make sure he wasn't being inappropriate with Tabby." Steve answered, glancing down at the floor as he spoke.

Bruce nodded, staring back at Steve blankly.

"I understand your concern. He said that he needed to change his clothes before coming back to headquarters. You know how Tony is about fashion."

Steve chewed his lip thoughtfully and nodded.

"Yeah, he's all about style, isn't he? Well, I guess I should wait for Tabby in her room. Thanks for reasoning with him, Dr. Banner. I think you've got more patience with Stark than everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. combined." He said, clapping Bruce on the back with a small smile before exiting the room.

Bruce shifted his stare to Thor, staring at the demigod quizzically.

Thor stared back at him for an uncomfortable amount of time before finally speaking up.

"My brother is currently being held against his will for a crime we are not sure he has committed. Have you any discoveries that may prove the innocence of Loki?" The demigod inquired apprehensively.

Bruce stared at him in surprise.

"Oh, uh, I'm sorry Thor, but we're trying everything we know how to do. The best lead we've got right now is locating all of the infinity stones to make sure they're intact and unmoved." He responded apologetically.

Thor chewed on his thumbnail as he thought about Bruce's answer.

"I appreciate your efforts, Dr. Banner. Thank you very much."

"Of course. I don't like condemning people any more than you do." The scientist replied with a small smile.

Thor nodded with a small smile as he backed away towards the door.

As Thor exited the room, Bruce rested his head in his hands, trying not to overthink the situation.

Tony was his best friend; he would never go after Tabby. Tony was in a committed relationship and understood that Tabby was off-limits. Not even Tony Stark would stoop so low; Bruce already had enough competition with Steve involved.

Letting out a heavy sigh, trying to avoid thinking about it further.

Trusting Tony Stark was a lot easier when all Bruce had to lose was his temper.

* * *

"Tony, what the hell are you doing?" Tabby asked with an amused smile playing on her lips.

After receiving a call from Bruce insisting that they return to headquarters before Fury sent out agents for them, Tabby had claimed that she could lead the way back to S.H.I.E.L.D. using the subway system.

So, Tony had changed his clothes to disguise himself a little bit better – Tony Stark tended to get a lot of attention in his home city – and followed Tabby out into the city, navigating the best he could to the nearest subway station.

Tony glanced back at the smiling Tabby with an impish grin.

"Buying you a present."

Tabby raised her eyebrows at the billionaire before following him into a touristy store, where they were both already receiving incredulous looks from those who recognized the poorly disguised Tony.

"Why don't you buy Pepper a present? She might be mad when she finds out that you're in trouble for getting stoned with a prisoner. A present would kind of cushion the blow." She reminded him, rolling her eyes as Tony weaved through the crowd of foreign tourists fawning over replicas of the statue of liberty.

"Pepper? She already has everything. What else could I possibly buy for her?" Tony countered absent-mindedly as he sifted through a large pile of sweatshirts lying in the back of the store.

Tabby cocked an eyebrow.

"I don't know. What are you buying me?"

Tony chuckled, standing up as he recovered the shirt he had been searching for. He held it up for Tabby as he spoke.

"Just a little something to wear for your lover."

Tabby examined the sweatshirt, her mouth twitching into an unwilling smile.

It was bright green with a picture of the Hulk on it, along with the words 'the Incredible Hulk' written along the top of the shirt.

"Is that actually Bruce?" She questioned, tilting her head as she got a better look.

The Hulk in this picture did share some of Bruce's features, when she looked closely. They had the same dark mop of hair, the same guilty grimace, and the same awkwardly hunched stance.

Tony shrugged.

"That depends on who you ask. Bruce swears the Hulk is another being entirely, but I'm not so sure."

"That's not what I meant. Is this really what he looks like?" Tabby persisted, following Tony over to the cash register.

"Oh, yeah. Scared?" He asked, handing the sweatshirt to the cashier.

"No…I thought that I would be, but honestly, he looks just like Bruce."

Tony snorted.

"I wouldn't go _that _far."

Tabby smiled sheepishly.

"I'm still a little too 'impaired' to explain it totally." She admitted with a small laugh.

"Hey, you're not running away screaming, even when you're impaired. I'd say that's a pretty small victory for Banner." Tony said, grinning as he accepted the bag from the cashier and handed it over to Tabby.

She shrugged with a smile as they exited the store and continued towards the nearest subway station.

"So, you think you'll actually wear this? I think Banner would appreciate it; especially if you were wearing nothing else." Tony informed Tabby, his dark eyes dancing with mischief.

"Honestly, can you go like, an hour without saying anything perverted?" She demanded, trying unsuccessfully to frown.

Tony shrugged.

"There were those terrible ten months when I didn't know how to talk yet."

"I don't think being a baby counts."

"I beg to differ."

Tabby rolled her eyes before noticing that there were people brandishing cameras across the street from them, each seeming completely fixated on Tony.

"I was the same person as a child that I am today. Why shouldn't it count?" Tony argued, completely oblivious to the paparazzi who clearly hadn't fallen for his bad attempt at disguising himself as a tourist.

After all, his arc-reactor was blatantly visible underneath his tight black shirt.

Lesson learned: never trust stoned Tony with dressing himself.

"We'll talk about how much that statement terrifies me in a minute. Before that, I just want to make sure that you know there are people following you with cameras." Tabby informed him quietly, glancing up at the billionaire curiously.

"Huh?" Tony turned around to see the paparazzi, "Oh. Huh. I guess there are less of them than there usually is, so I'd say we're doing pretty well, Tabby cat. Worst case, they'll say we're banging while Pepper is hard at work."

Tabby's eyebrows furrowed.

"You think that I want magazines to say that I'm sleeping with you?"

Tony shrugged.

"Most women wouldn't hate it."

"How on God's green Earth do you fit a hat over that massive head of yours?"

"Now, see, that's another great thing about those rumors. You can tell the press about my massive appendages."

"Or I could tell them how what a _small, insufficient _person you are." Tabby countered with a coy smile.

Tony glared at her.

"You wouldn't dare."

Tabby shrugged.

"I kissed the Hulk. I'd say I'm pretty damn daring."

"You kissed Banner?" Tony questioned; his anger fading as he grinned eagerly.

Tabby rolled her eyes.

He was like a high school cheerleader when it came to gossip. He couldn't wait to find out the juicy secrets people were hiding, and he tried to get everyone else involved in finding things out in order to speed up the process.

"Didn't Bruce tell you? I thought he would have told you how I was messing with his blood pressure in the hopes that you'd keep me away from him." She laughed, following him down the stairs into the subway station.

"Don't tell me you kissed him last night when you guys were out in the hallway."

Tabby raised an eyebrow at him inquisitively.

"I did, why does that matter?"

Tony burst out laughing.

"So _that's _why the bastard was having a meltdown over getting a shower."

Tabby couldn't help but laugh.

"You're joking."

Tony shook his head with a throaty chuckle.

"Aw. We probably shouldn't be laughing. Bruce would be mortified if he knew that you told me that. Has he always been so shy?" Tabby asked as Tony purchased their subway fare cards.

He forfeited one of the cards over to Tabby before laughing once more.

"Bruce? Shy? No, no, you're not seeing the whole picture correctly. Bruce isn't _shy, _he's _careful. _You are throwing a wrench in his process and he doesn't know how to handle the situation. He's a scientist. He calculates these things. Apparently your calculations aren't quite adding up. Think back to school, Tabby cat. Did any of the science majors approach you first?" He questioned with a grin, following her towards the gate where they would be waiting for the next train.

"Yeah, I had friends in the science department."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Bullshit."

Tabby pretended to sulk, but couldn't hold back a smile.

"Okay, so maybe I'm a little too 'fine arts' for that type. What's your point? Do you think Bruce doesn't like me? Because honestly, if he doesn't, he's got a funny way of showing his distain." She informed the billionaire.

He glanced at her with an amused stare.

"Are all history majors this slow? Jesus. I'm not saying Banner doesn't have the hots for you. He and Rodgers have been killing each other over you ever since you stepped foot in headquarters. I'm saying, he doesn't understand the situation. You're confusing him. He's used to all of the numbers adding up. You're different. From the looks of it, I'm guessing he likes that."

Tabby nodded, staring ahead at the empty subway tracks thoughtfully.

"You know, I think I'll take it."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"So you're really into Jolly Green, then? Hm. That's interesting. You know, Fury is going have a bitch fit if you make things happen with him. The last thing he wants is little Banners running around smashing shit." He reminded her, smirking as he leaned against one of the pillars of the terminal.

Tabby shot Tony a dirty look, but didn't justify his comment with a response.

Luckily, the subway train showed up in the midst of the silence.

"So, give me the rundown of this trip, again. What stop do we transfer trains at?" Tony questioned as they stepped onto the subway.

Tabby couldn't suppress a laugh at the situation.

_She _was teaching _Tony Stark _how to navigate on the subway.

She was teaching Tony something. The only thing more astonishing was that he was _letting _her.

She would have to tell Pepper about it later on.

"Hey, give me a break, I was a privileged kid. I had a driver. Just tell me what we're doing here." Tony said, pretending to be offended by Tabby's amusement.

"We're switching trains at 42nd street. That's Broadway; you should be familiar with the area. Just make sure you follow me." She responded.

Tony nodded, taking a few clumsy steps back as the train began to move.

Tabby glanced back at the billionaire, who was now clutching one of the poles for dear life, and rolled her eyes.

After the first stop, the two were able to find empty seats, where Tony was less likely to fall over and hurt himself.

"So tell me something, Tabby cat."

Tabby glanced over at Tony and raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"You said that you're hot for Shrek,"

"I like Dr. Banner, yes." Tabby interrupted curtly, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, so, are you actually down to stay with him, or are you just screwing around with him until you talk to Loki?"

"What do you mean?" Tabby demanded sharply.

She could see Tony's surprise at the change in her demeanor, but she couldn't help it.

Loki was still a sore subject and Tony was accusing her of stringing Bruce along until she got a better offer.

That was pretty rude.

Tony met her glare with a hard stare.

"We all know how into Loki you were. I get it, you two had a thing. But don't even think about involving Bruce if there's even a remote possibility that you're going to reunite with reindeer games. I like you a lot, Tabby, but Bruce is my best friend. I'm going to at least try to protect him, even if that hurts your feelings."

Tabby's mouth twitched into a smile.

"That's very sweet of you, Tony."

"I'm not some boy on Degrassi, I'm just being upfront with you. Now, are you going to tell me about your deal, or not?" Tony demanded roughly.

Tabby raised her eyebrows at him before answering his question.

"I know that I'm being held in a government facility for dating the wrong kind of guy, but that doesn't make me a bad person. Any interest I display in Bruce is one-hundred percent genuine. If I do anything that you think is unfair or unnecessarily cruel to him, I give you my full permission to tell me I'm a heartless bitch. In the meantime, you don't need to worry about it. I'm not even sure that anything is going to happen with me and Bruce."

Tony gave her a quizzical stare.

"Why's that?"

"Because," Tabby responded in exasperation, "this whole situation is so complicated! Plus, mean eye patch guy would probably kill everyone involved if he even knew about me kissing Bruce last night."

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Leave Nick out of this."

"It's kind of hard to when he's always telling me how powerful he is."

Tony snorted.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but all of the Avengers have two eyeballs. Fury has one. We're clearly more capable of defending ourselves, as well as others, than he is."

Tabby shook her head at the billionaire as the train came to a halt at their stop.

"Here we are; 42nd street. Now, we're going to want to jump on the 2 train down to 14th street, okay?" Tabby called over her shoulder as she exited the train.

"Yeah, right, streets. Okay." Tony answered, pushing through the crowds to keep up with Tabby.

"Mom, it's Iron Man!" A child suddenly exclaimed, drawing attention to the billionaire before he could fully catch up with Tabby.

"Uh, not now, kid." Tony muttered, trying to edge away from the crowd unsuccessfully.

Meanwhile, Tabby hopped on the train that had just arrived, fully expecting Tony to be right behind her.

As the door closed, she glanced behind her, a coy smile playing on her lips.

"Try not to fall this time," She began to tease, stopping short when she realized that the billionaire was no longer behind her.

"Oh, shit." She whispered to herself, rushing to the shut doors.

Before she could decide what to do, the train was moving, leaving Tony stranded in a crowd of fans, separated from the prisoner that hadn't quite been proven innocent yet.

"Fury is going to kill me." He groaned, hanging his head as he accepted papers to autograph until the next 2 train came around.

* * *

Loki was in the middle of pacing his cell when he detected the presence of his younger brother. He whirled around to face Thor, who was glancing around nervously, as if he expected yet another criminal to appear.

"Brother. Have we not already spoken about my innocence? Is there another question you wish to ask?" He questioned, smirking as he sauntered to the edge of the cell, closer to where Thor was standing.

"Now I must ask you about Tabby Baker, as she is traveling throughout the realm with Stark. I fear that they may both be in trouble upon their return. Have you involved her in any villainous acts?" Thor asked, jutting his chin out proudly as Loki stared him down.

The god of thunder was determined to have what Tony Stark referred to as a 'poker face' when he spoke to Loki.

Loki tilted his head, staring at his brother with a mixture of curiosity and surprise.

"I would like to remind you that I have done no wrong. If, however, I had, I would certainly avoid involving Tabby. She is the most insolent creature I have ever come across." He responded slowly, his smirk returning as Thor's eyebrows furrowed.

"Take care how you speak of Tabby. She will be your wife. You do not want to make your wife unhappy." Thor reminded him.

Loki sneered.

"I do not intend to marry her. You know this, Thor."

"You cannot keep running from those who love you, brother. You will live an unsatisfying life."

"Oh, and I suppose you're going to tell me that you're satisfied with yours. You, running after a mortal like a _dog. _Being reduced to a groveling servant to a woman no more noble than yourself. That life may satisfy you, but I could not want that for myself." Loki snarled.

Thor flinched at the tone in his brother's voice, but quickly regained his composure.

"Do not make haste decisions. Tabby Baker is a fine woman. She cares for you. It would serve you well to remember that."

"It would serve you well to focus on your tasks, brother. Meddling with my romantic decisions will not benefit you as you seem to believe it will."

Thor exhaled heavily.

Loki was right, of course.

Still, Thor wouldn't be able to sleep through the night if he didn't at least try.

"Please, Loki, try to reason with yourself. Do not write the girl off, yet. Mother would be most pleased if you returned to Asgard with a wife."

Loki smirked.

"I have no mother."

* * *

Tony looked around the crowded platform frantically.

Tabby had told him to get off at 14th street, right?

He couldn't see her.

Fuck.

What if she really had been conspiring with Loki all along?

Fury was going to kill him.

_Everyone _was going to kill him.

He had just let an inter-realm criminal lose in New York.

He might as well have handed her all of the classified files in S.H.I.E.L.D., along with a detailed description of each of the Avengers' weaknesses.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Tony sucked in a sharp breath of air before examining the platform once more, in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, Tabby was hiding.

"Are you lost, Stark?"

Oh, thank god.

"Tabby, where the hell have you been? I thought you had escaped and called some alien army to kill us all." Tony growled, a wave of relief washing over him as Tabby skipped over to his side with a wide smile.

"I don't think I would know how to call an alien army if I tried. I'm not sure they get cell reception in space. Seriously, do you actually believe that I was at all involved in whatever Loki was doing?"

Tony shrugged, refusing to feel any shame for his reaction.

Any of the other Avengers would have been just as concerned. Steve probably would have killed himself, Natasha would kill everyone else on the platform, Barton would be running away before Natasha killed him, Thor would have killed everyone on the train while attempting to stop it with his hammer and Bruce…Bruce would have smashed the shit out of the entire tri-state area.

"How did you get so separated from me, anyway? The last I saw, you were right behind me. Suddenly, you're in the middle of the platform with a bunch of people looking like it was the end of the world." Tabby chattered, giggling as she led Tony out of the platform and into the top floor of the subway station.

"Some kid decided to yell 'it's Iron Man'." Tony replied irritably.

"Aw, so you had to attend to your fans, how cute." Tabby giggled.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Just, don't run off like that again, alright? I thought that Fury was going to slaughter me when I got back to S.H.I.E.L.D. empty-handed." He said, shooting a half-hearted glare in Tabby's direction.

Tabby grinned back at him.

"Relax, Tony. If nothing else, this whole deal kind of proved that you can totally trust me. I have no aliens to run and call, and the last I heard, Loki wanted nothing to do with me. Do you really think letting me run loose in the subway station for like, ten minutes was the worst thing that could ever happen? Don't you think you can give me just a _little _bit more credit than that?"

Tony pretended to glare at her as she hailed a taxi.

Tabby noticed his glare and laughed, pushing him into the taxi first.

"I promise. You can trust me." She assured him, patting his knee before leaning forward to tell the taxi driver where to take them.

Tony watched her carefully, keeping his facial expression blank.

From the looks of it, it seemed that she was right.

Maybe Tabby Baker could be trusted; both with her own freedom, and with Banner's delicate little heart.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

The second that Tony entered S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, he was pulled into a tight headlock by an infuriated Steve.

"Unf, did you," Tony hacked out a cough, "really miss me," another cough, "that much, Rodgers?"

Steve's grip on Tony's neck tightened.

"Steve! Tony's an old man and he's had a long day. If you're going to wrestle somebody, wrestle me. I broke the rules too, and I think I'd enjoy physical contact with a built superhero more than Tony." Tabby intervened, shooting a dazzling smile in Steve's direction.

Steve met her gaze, slightly disarmed by her bright smile.

He had expected her to complain about the way Tony treated her, or the fact that he had done drugs in her presence, but she was speaking calmly, like the two had just taken a brief stroll through the park.

"Old man?" Tony protested.

Steve and Tabby ignored him.

"Stark knew that there were rules and he broke them." He argued, staring at Tabby uncertainly.

"I know, but it was kind of my fault. He didn't mean any harm by it. He was just trying to be nice. For him, that's a pretty rare thing. Instead of being punished, he should really be praised for that. You should punish me for taking advantage of it." She argued, sparing Tony a small smile before returning her eyes to Steve.

"He was impaired." Steve said, his eyebrows furrowing as he finally released Tony from a headlock.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck as he stared at Tabby in shock.

She was actually talking Steve out of punishing someone. She was persuading _Captain America _that _justice _wasn't necessary.

Tabby shrugged, still grinning.

"So was I."

Steve's eyes widened.

"You were on _drugs_? Did Tony pressure you into doing them?" He questioned, his eyes narrowing as he focused on Tony once again.

Tony backed away, eying Steve's flexing muscles warily.

"Sweetie, hold on a minute. Is this really what you want to focus on? I left without permission from mean eye patch guy. Tony was just an accessory to that." Tabby assured him softly, placing a light hand on his lower arm, drawing his attention away from Tony.

Steve's crystal eyes focused on Tabby's face, searching it for any answers she had to offer.

"I have to take Tony to Fury." He stated, looking noticeably confused.

Tabby nodded, chewing her lip thoughtfully.

"Do you mind if I tag along? I might be able to clear up some things about the ordeal. I know that nobody really believes Tony when he opens his mouth. I don't, either." She said, smiling up at Steve, whose eyebrows furrowed.

"Hey, I thought we had a good time today, Tabby-cat. Now you're going back to bashing me?" Tony inquired, sticking his bottom lip out to pout.

Tabby shot Tony a dark look before smiling up at Steve once again.

Tony should have known better than to interrupt when she was getting him off the hook. Now he was just being stupid.

"Don't worry about Stark. Come on. Let's go talk to Fury." Steve said, returning Tabby's smile.

Tabby grinned widely.

Linking her arm in Steve's, she followed him towards the conference room, with Tony at their heels, staring at the scene in shock.

Tabby controlled Captain America.

She had actual magical powers.

* * *

"What do you think you were doing in New York, Mr. Stark?" Nick Fury inquired loudly, glaring at the billionaire.

Tony glanced at Tabby, who was listening to something that Steve was telling her quietly.

It looked like he was on his own with Fury.

"Everyone gets cabin fever. You know that, Fury. I think it was almost a form of research. People say some condemning shit when they're stoned." Tony replied, sauntering closer to the director, who scowled.

"Do you really think that giving our prisoner illegal substances was a responsible way to conduct research?"

Tony shrugged.

"I wouldn't say it was _irresponsible. _No one got hurt. Everyone is where they need to be. No muss, no fuss."

"And what if Tabby _had _been planning on exploiting your spur of the moment generosity? Were you willing to risk it on the off-chance that you were right?"

"I was right."

"That's not the point, Stark."

"No, I think that is the point. We can't just sit around here and pretend that everyone is guilty without at least trying to prove whether we're right or wrong. At least I was trying something."

"Smoking pot with a prisoner is _not _a valid method of research. Anyone who wishes to take a prisoner out of S.H.I.E.L.D. facilities will discuss it with me first. I don't want a repeat of this, do you understand?"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Fine."

"Good. Now, Tabby, come with me." Fury barked, drawing Tabby's attention away from Steve, who had a wide smile plastered on his face.

"Where are we going?" Tabby asked, forcing herself to smile at the scowling director.

"Back to your room. I think you've had enough adventure for one day. We'll have to walk past Loki's cell on the way. Do not make eye contact." He responded coldly.

Tabby's eyes widened as her face went red.

She hadn't seen Loki since he had broken up with her and she was not ready to see him for the first time since their breakup. She was dressed sloppily, her hair was a mess from running through New York with Tony, and she was going to be dragged down the hallway by the mean eye patch guy, instead of one of the super handsome superheroes she now had at her disposal.

Not fair.

"Let's go, Ms. Baker." Fury prodded, sparing her a dark look before leading her out of the conference room.

Both Tony and Steve turned to watch her leave before meeting each other's stares.

"What are you smiling about? You're starting to scare me. You look like a damn Cheshire cat." Tony demanded, his eyebrows furrowing at the sight of Steve's goofy smile.

Steve's smile turned into a smirk.

"She called me Sweetie. She likes me."

Tony burst out laughing.

"Yeah, okay, Cap."

"She does." Steve insisted.

"That's great. I'm happy for you two. Let me know when you set a date for the wedding, will you?" Tony chuckled, clapping Steve on the back before walking out of the conference room.

* * *

Loki scowled as he sat on the ground of his cell, flipping through the unimpressive textbooks that Jane Foster had so kindly brought to him shortly after his arrival.

Studying was even less appealing without Tabby scribbling notes in the margins, without her showing up with some sort of snack she had decided to introduce him to, or without her rolling around on the floor playing with the dogs.

He shook his head, refocusing on the textbook in front of him.

He had rid himself of Tabby in the physical sense. Now he just needed to get her out of his brain.

Hearing footsteps approaching the area, Loki glanced up, hoping that he was not going to receive another speech from Thor.

The oaf never seemed to understand Loki's unwillingness to cooperate with what most Asgardians considered "right".

Loki's jaw dropped when he saw Tabby following director Fury through the room; seemingly absorbed in the conversation that the director appeared unhappy to provide.

She looked the same as she had when he left her; slender, grinning, and just as full of life as the day he had met her.

Well, if he was being completely honest with himself, he had to admit that she looked _better _than she had when he left her. She was no longer sick, nor were her eyes filled up to the brim with tears over something as silly as his departure.

She was happy.

He saw her head begin to turn in his direction and quickly turned his eyes to his textbook.

Loki wanted to give off the appearance of being too absorbed in his studies to even notice Tabby's presence.

Tabby had to believe that she was still extremely unimportant to him.

After all, if you gave that woman an inch, she would take a couple of yards and ask for more with a smile on her face.

He couldn't resist looking up when he heard Director Fury laugh.

Tabby had made the humorless man laugh.

Loki rolled his eyes as he watched the scene.

Of _course _Tabby had made the humorless man laugh. If anyone could, it would be her. She had an odd way of crawling into people's minds and recovering just enough information to make sure they adored her the way a child adored a beloved family pet. She was to humans what a light was to a moth. She drew them in, in a most curious manner.

She was irresistible.

The unpleasant red-headed agent probably liked Tabby as well.

Before he could finish his thoughts on Tabby's alarming skill at manipulating others' emotions, her bright green eyes met his, sending an unusual chill down his spine.

Her lips were parted as she stared at him with a questioning gaze, like she was planning on asking him on a question, but before either of them could react to one another, Nick Fury had quickened his pace, shuffling the girl out of the room towards her own cell.

Turning back to his textbook, he exhaled heavily.

Perhaps he would have preferred another pointless lecture from Thor.

* * *

"Dr. B, what could you possibly be doing? We both know that any test we run on these infinity stones will probably be inconclusive and a rough-guess at best. Trying to get an A for effort?" Tony teased as he strode into the lab, smirking at the scientist, who was hunched over a tablet.

Bruce looked up in surprise, setting the tablet down on a nearby table.

"Tony, when did you get back? Have you talked to Fury yet? He's…pretty mad." He responded hesitantly, glancing around the lab for any signs of the director.

Tony snorted, pulling up a chair next to Bruce.

"Please. He gave me a five minute lecture before taking Tabby back to her room and leaving me to deal with a love-sick Rodgers. He thinks that they're in love because she called him 'Sweetie'." He replied, rolling his eyes as he swiped the tablet that Bruce had been looking at off of the table it was now resting on.

"Oh," Bruce mumbled, trying to snatch the tablet away from Tony, who dodged the scientist easily.

With a smirk, Tony skimmed the article that Bruce had been reading.

Apparently some small-scale celebrity gossip website had already published an article about Tabby Baker's debut earlier in the evening. There were pictures, followed up with rumors on Tony's relationship to Tabby, along with blatant lies about what reporters had spotted Tony and Tabby doing throughout the course of their trip.

"Tell me something, Banner. Do you _always _read news articles about me, or are you really cyber-stalking someone that literally lives right down the hall?" The billionaire asked, his eyes twinkling as he smirked at a blushing Bruce.

"Fury said that he wanted all eyes on you two while you were out, so I…"

"Cut the bullshit. You don't have to justify yourself to me. You have the hots for her. It's understandable. She's hot."

Bruce sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Is this all true?" He inquired, gesturing towards the news article.

Tony arched an eyebrow at his friend.

"Do you really think that I took Tabby out to a romantic dinner? Do you really think that I held her hand and kissed her in a phone booth? That sounds like a bad romantic comedy." He replied, laughing.

Bruce smiled; his posture relaxing at Tony's answer.

"Yeah, I guess that doesn't really sound like you. What really happened, then?"

"We were talking about relaxation, she mentioned pot, I remembered that I had some hiding in my lab in the tower, so I invited her over to smoke a joint. We were sitting in my living room watching Archer and eating Captain Crunch when you called. So, I changed into clothes that would sort of disguise me while we were walking around, we got Taco Bell, where the only romance was between me and a taco, and we took the subway back here. Oh, and guess what? I missed a train that Tabby caught – some damn kid wanted an autograph – and she didn't even think about bolting while she had the chance. If you ask me, I think we should be focusing more on Loki. That girl couldn't be a villain if she tried."

Bruce raised his eyebrows at Tony.

"You took the subway?"

"That's really all you got out of that entire story?"

Bruce let out a throaty chuckle.

"I just can't picture you in a subway station. Did you touch anything? Did you tell the employees how to improve the system?"

Tony rolled his eyes.

"It was very inefficient."

"It's operated by the government."

"Yeah, okay." Tony conceded, grinning as Bruce laughed.

"So, Steve really thinks that Tabby likes him?" Bruce asked curiously as Tony pulled a bottle of scotch out of one of the cabinets, where all of his alcohol was hidden behind chemicals everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. was afraid to touch.

Tony glanced at Bruce, his mouth twisting into a smirk as he poured himself a glass of scotch.

"Yeah, the dude is completely convinced that Tabby wants the dick. I've got to give it to him; she is a damn good actress. She got Steve to stop trying to kill me. If that's not impressive, I don't know what is."

Bruce's eyebrows furrowed.

"Uh, do you think that maybe she would really…?" He inquired, not making eye contact with Tony as he swallowed hard, avoiding finishing his question.

Tony snorted.

"Would really fuck Cap? No way. She told me that she kissed you last night. Why are you acting like an insecure sixth grade girl?"

"I'm not being _insecure, _I'm being _rational. _She's a young girl. I'm a not-so-young guy with a lot of baggage. It doesn't make sense for her to get involved with me. She could have just been teasing me. She does seem very…_spirited._"

"We talked it over on the way back to this hellhole. It sounds to me like you're in the clear whenever you want to make a move. I say you go for it. I mean seriously, how long has it been since you've gotten laid?"

Bruce's eyes narrowed.

"Do you not remember what happened with Betty?"

"That was _ages _ago. You've got Jolly Green under control now, and Tabby understands what's going on with you a lot better than your fiancé and her asshole dad did. I mean, come on. Tabby dated _Loki _for Christ's sake. I think she might be into the whole 'baggage' thing."

"It doesn't matter what she likes or dislikes. This is about whether or not I can handle being in a relationship with an innocent girl who might get hurt."

Tony's facial expression softened as he returned the scotch to its original place, setting the glass in the sink for the lab attendants to wash out.

"Look, buddy, you've got time to figure this out. We both know that there's no way for us to prove that he's innocent or guilty, and none of the other shitheads around here have any idea how to operate. The second you change up the realms on people, they act like everything is more complicated than it really is. As far as I know, Tabby isn't going anywhere for a while. Just don't miss out on an opportunity because of the other guy. He already rules enough of your life. Don't let him take this away from you, too." The billionaire said, resting a hand on Bruce's shoulder before nodding and exiting the lab.

Bruce sighed, rubbing his eyes as he tried not to think too much about what Tony said.

However, in the back of his mind, there was a tiny piece of him that knew Tony was right; someone like Tabby was too special to give up in order to simply appease the Hulk.

* * *

A few days later, once the scandal of Tony and Tabby's adventure died down, Bruce found himself standing outside of Tabby's door, anxious about being alone with the girl for the first time since the night they had kissed.

With a small knock, Bruce stared down at the ground, hoping that Tabby wouldn't be able to hear him knocking on the door over her loud music.

That would at least be a valid excuse to spend his Tabby-duty in the lab, where hopefully nobody would be trying to kiss him.

The doorknob turned, causing Bruce's heart to sink.

He should have known he wasn't that lucky.

Tabby opened the door, grinning from ear to ear.

Bruce couldn't help but take in her appearance.

Her hair was messier than usual, she looked a bit flustered, which was a very rare occurrence for her, and, much to Bruce's dismay, she wasn't wearing pants.

"Hey Bruce! Do you like my new sweater? Tony got it for me." She said, noticing that the scientist's eyes were wandering.

Bruce's eyes flicked to her sweater, causing him to smile slightly.

She was wearing a sweater with the other guy featured on it.

"I wouldn't go so far as to say the Hulk is _incredible_, but I appreciate the sentiment. Is there any reason you're not wearing pants with your sweater?" He questioned, staring at her curiously as she invited him into her living area.

Tabby shrugged with a grin.

"I got out of the shower and went to make myself some curry. I think I forgot that I'm actually not domestic. Between the two, I just kind of ran out of time to put pants on. Besides, pants are so overrated. I'm already wearing more than I would at the beach."

Bruce shrugged with a small smile.

"Oh, hey, I love this song! C'mon Bruce, dance with me!" Tabby exclaimed, grabbing Bruce's hands before he could escape and pulling him closer.

"No, no, I'm not really good at…"

"I don't care. I'm terrible at dancing too. It's just me. I can't judge you." Tabby encouraged, giggling as she controlled Bruce's hands, moving him around the room stiffly.

Bruce chuckled, finally giving in to Tabby's demand.

"Look at you, dancing up a storm!" She laughed as the song ended, grinning at Bruce, who was chuckling despite himself.

He hadn't danced in _years. _He was terrible at it. Betty had wanted him to take a dance class with her decades ago, but even then, they had argued about it for weeks until she had given up. The last time he could remember dancing without putting up a fight about it was prom.

Jesus, he still remembered prom like it was yesterday.

Bruce's mind began to wander to Tabby, and whether or not she had gone to prom.

She probably had. She had probably gotten asked by so many boys that she had to bring multiple dates.

She had probably gone to multiple proms as well.

She undoubtedly looked beautiful at each and every one of them.

Bruce's date hadn't been very pretty. Macy Henderson. She had been his lab partner in advanced biology and had worn an awful green dress that reminded him of a frog they had dissected earlier in the school year. After prom had ended, she cried and refused to even let him take her out to dinner.

Going to prom with Tabby would have been much better.

"Oh, shit. I think I burned the curry. I feel bad for whoever decides to marry me. I'm the worst cook in the history of the word." Tabby sighed, her mouth twisting into a smile as Bruce snapped back into reality.

"Do you like Indian food?" He asked curiously, following her over to the stove in her living area.

"I do. The carryout guys on campus all knew my name. Unfortunately, I don't get a phone or a computer here, which kind of ruins the idea of delivery, so I have to make do with my own cooking, which sucks." She replied with an amused smile, pulling the pot of burned curry off of the stove.

"You know, I lived in India for a couple of years. I could probably make you something." Bruce offered with a small smile.

Tabby turned around to stare at him incredulously, her eyes widening.

"You're kidding. You're a genius, you're a sweetheart, you're a total DILF, _and _you can cook? Jesus, Bruce, do you speak any foreign languages? Can you fly? Don't tell me that you save orphans from burning buildings in your spare time." She teased, stepping aside to allow Bruce access to her cabinet full of various ingredients.

Bruce looked back at her and chuckled.

"I speak a few languages, based off of where I've been hiding, but I can't fly. That would be Tony or Thor."

"Ugh. And where are you at with saving the orphans?"

"I've never saved an orphan in my life."

"Good."

"Is it?"

Tabby laughed as Bruce pulled a few ingredients from the cabinet.

"So what's a DILF anyway?" The scientist inquired curiously as he began working on whatever meal he was planning on preparing for Tabby.

"Seriously?"

Bruce shrugged.

"Really."

"It means dad I'd like to fuck. I mean, I know you're not a dad, but," Tabby smirked as Bruce dropped the salt shaker with a flustered expression.

"I see." He muttered, hunching over the bowl he was pouring seasoning into.

Tabby knew that it was kind of mean to be so forward with Bruce; he was shy and reserved. Tony had explained that the scientist was a tough cookie to crack, but Tabby just couldn't resist teasing him. She loved when his ears turned red, and she loved watching his facial expression change as he muttered out some kind of response.

"So, what are you making, Doc?" She questioned, hopping up to hit on the counter, watching Bruce as he attempted to cook.

"Aloo Chaas." He replied simply.

"That sounds delicious."

Bruce smiled at her.

"That's the plan. Do you mind if I have some once I finish?" He questioned.

"You're the one cooking, I pretty much expected you to be eating some. Do you think I'm like, a completely terrible person? No Bruce, I know that you cooked me a fantastic Indian meal, but how dare you even think about eating with me?" Tabby teased.

"Hey, I don't know. Maybe you had dinner plans."

"With who?" Tabby laughed, gesturing towards the room, which was empty aside from her and Bruce.

Bruce shrugged.

"You might have made plans with anyone here. Everyone seems to like you a lot."

"I'm not so sure that mean eye patch guy would agree."

"Don't take that personally. Fury hates everyone."

"I made him laugh once."

Bruce raised his eyebrows.

"You made Nick Fury laugh?"

Tabby nodded proudly.

"Impressive. Maybe Natasha should take some notes from you. She might learn a few things on negotiating with impossible people."

"You're just being nice. You know what's weird about this whole thing?"

"What's that?"

"I'm actually kind of glad that I got arrested by all of you. I mean, it sucks that I'm getting in trouble for whatever it was that Loki did, but I got to meet all of you guys, and that makes it all kind of worth it."

Bruce smiled as he went back to chopping up potatoes.

He couldn't bring himself to admit it to Tabby, but he was pretty glad that she had been arrested, too.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter Nineteen**

"Hey, Tabby, are you ready to go?" Steve asked, smiling at the prisoner shyly while the rest of the Avengers - along with Pepper, Jane and Darcy - mulled around in the background.

"Absolutely, let's fondue this bitch up!" Tabby crowed, grinning at everyone in the crowded hallway.

"I can't believe that Fury really went for this. Especially after this one royally screwed up." Pepper commented, shooting Tony a dark look before following the rest of the group down the hall towards the parking garage.

"I thought we were forgetting about that! You saw the magazines, you hit me with them, you yelled, and then we made up!" Tony argued, his eyebrows furrowing as Pepper avoided his stare.

"You should have asked mean eye patch guy first." Tabby teased.

"Oh, yeah, you're right, I should have gone into the conference room and said "hey Fury. Is it cool if I get stoned with your prisoner? We've both been pretty stressed lately". He would have gone for it." Tony agreed sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"Exactly." Tabby laughed, grinning at Tony before glancing at Steve, who was smirking.

"It's too bad that your boyfriend couldn't come with us, Darcy. I was really looking forward to meeting him." Bruce commented, shooting a small smile at Darcy, who looked surprised.

Bruce knew that he was guilty of keeping to himself while others socialized, and was trying to come out of his shell, primarily for Tabby's sake. The better he got along with the rest of the group, the more often he would be invited to join anyone that made plans with Tabby.

Or, at least, that was the goal.

"Yeah, you know, S.H.I.E.L.D. can really be a pain in the ass with the whole work thing. Um, hey, Steve, I've never seen you in a color other than blue before. You look nice in black." Darcy responded, shifting the attention to Steve, who looked noticeable confused at the compliment.

"Oh, uh, thanks." He mumbled, glancing at Tabby, like he expected her to tell him how to react.

Tabby bit her lip, glancing between Steve and Darcy curiously, but didn't say a word.

"Hey, Steve, that actually reminds me of something in a totally weird way; how are Louis and Marie? I've been meaning to ask you about them each time you come in, but then you distract me with stories about girls trying to shoot you." Tabby inquired, carefully shifting the attention away from the oddly-timed compliment that Darcy had offered.

Steve's eyes instantly lit up.

"Oh, they're great! I take them for a run every morning, and they sleep in my bed with me every night. I even taught Louis how to shake my hand." He replied eagerly, smiling from ear to ear.

"No way. How the hell did you do that? I love Louis to death, but he's a pain in the ass!" Tabby questioned, causing Steve to laugh.

"He is pretty stubborn. It took a lot of treats and time. Hey, you should come by and see him after we get fondue! I'd love to show you the trick." Steve said.

Tabby grinned, looking around at the rest of the group excitedly.

"Can I? That would be amazing! Thank you, Steve."

"I'm sorry; can I just interrupt this crazy-dog-people moment really quickly? How the hell did we jump from Darcy eye-fucking Steve in black to dogs?" Tony asked, looking puzzled at the conversation.

"Oh, Tony, didn't you know? Sometimes black shirts turn into dogs." Barton teased, smirking at Steve, who smiled good-naturedly at the teasing.

Steve and Tony had been on slightly better terms, primarily due to Tabby exerting massive amounts of effort into getting the two to look past their prejudices.

Thank god.

"No, no, I just saw his black shirt, and I remember that whenever I would go to put on a black shirt at school,"

"You'd see Marie's fur all over it?" Steve finished, grinning at her knowingly.

"Exactly." Tabby agreed, grinning at Tony, whose eyebrows furrowed.

"Why would you get a dog that would get hair all over anything black?" The billionaire inquired.

"She can't help it. If she could, I'm sure she would. She's a really sweet little girl. You should come meet her when I go over to Steve's. You all should! I want everyone to meet my kids!" Tabby exclaimed, glancing around at the entire group as they reached the parking garage.

"Uh, Tab, I'm a pretty big expert on the whole 'man invites woman back to abode' situation and I'm pretty sure that Steve didn't invite you just for you to invite the rest of us to play with your dogs." Tony commented, raising his eyebrows at Tabby condescendingly.

"I wish to see Louis and Marie again." Thor interjected, ignoring Tony's judgmental staring.

"Um, yeah, I don't mind you guys coming over. I wasn't trying to pull anything with Tabby. I just thought she might want to see her dogs." Steve stammered, glancing at Tony like he was crazy.

"I hate to break up this awkward conversation, but we have to decide whose going in what car. Anyone have any preferences?" Barton asked, leaning against the door of an SUV and twirling car keys on his index finger as his eyes flicked over the faces of each and every member of the group.

Tabby raised her eyebrows at him.

He was acting pretty intense about the carpooling situation.

"Can't we just take one car?" Tony asked, rolling his eyes.

Natasha glared at Tony.

"Stark, there are ten people here. How do you propose we only take one car?"

Tony shrugged.

"We can seat seven people in the SUV alone, and then we have the back. Didn't Loki ride in the back when you guys were making your great escape?" Tony asked, focusing on Barton, who stared down at the ground.

"That's different, Loki was a _demigod. _Now we have people with us that could get hurt." Steve growled.

Tony shrugged.

"I just think it's not very environmentally-friendly to take two SUV's."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"You know what, I'll take my bike. Thor, you can sit in the back. That reduces the count to eight people. Is there any chance you can safely make the trip now?" Steve asked, looking completely exasperated over the situation.

"A bike? Like a motorcycle?" Tabby asked quickly.

Steve nodded.

"I can go with Steve; I've dated like, four guys with motorcycles. I'm pretty much an expert at not falling off the back of them. That'll bring your count to a solid seven." Tabby offered, grinning at Steve before smiling at the group.

"Alright, let's get moving." Barton sighed, gesturing for everyone else to get into the SUV as Steve guided Tabby to his motorcycle, which was parked a couple of spaces away from the S.H.I.E.L.D. authorized vehicles.

"This is like a middle school date." Tony commented, climbing into the backseat of the SUV with Pepper crawling right after him.

"Don't forget to leave room for Jesus, kids." Barton called as everyone buckled their seatbelts – aside from Thor, who was sulking in the back of the SUV – and adjusted themselves for the car ride.

"Yeah, yeah, very funny, dad." Bruce chuckled, reaching forward to shove Barton's head before the assassin began driving.

"So, hey, Darcy, I was going to ask your boyfriend – you said his name was Clark, right? – do you think he could help Thor and I pull some files on Loki? We're trying to do some excess research while Tony and Bruce play around in the lab." Jane inquired quietly, glancing up at Natasha nervously before focusing on Darcy, who squirmed uncomfortably.

"Oh, I don't know, S.H.I.E.L.D. gets so sensitive about these things…" Darcy said, avoiding Jane's intense gaze.

She always fixated on things, and it seemed that she was fixated on proving Loki's innocence for the time being.

Great.

"Did you just said Clark? I didn't know that we had a Clark at S.H.I.E.L.D. Clint, have you ever met this guy?" Natasha questioned, glancing at her boyfriend curiously.

Barton shrugged.

"I don't think so, but I don't spend a bunch of time meeting people. Hey, uh, Darcy, what department does he work in?"

"Oh, uh, he works with the accounting department. You know, far away from where all of the action happens."

"Wait, Darce, I thought that you said Clark filed all of the incident reports." Jane reminded her with a puzzled gaze.

"Ugh, fuck, fine, I made him up." Darcy moaned, throwing her head back against the seat cushion.

"You made up a boyfriend at a place where we all work? Why the hell would you do that?" Barton asked, chuckling.

He clearly didn't understand how mortified Darcy already was.

"What were you thinking?" Jane questioned softly, her golden eyes searching Darcy's face for an answer.

Darcy rolled her eyes.

Like _Jane _would understand needing to make up a boyfriend. She could have gotten a boyfriend if she walked out in the middle of a street in a foreign country wearing a dress made out of cheese singles.

"I was just trying to make Steve jealous." Darcy whined.

Tony laughed to the point where he snorted, causing Pepper to burst out laughing. Barton quickly joined them in laughing hysterically, while Natasha, Jane, and Bruce stared at Darcy curiously.

"Darcy, why would you think that making up a fake boyfriend would help you with Steve? Why don't you just talk to him?" Bruce rationed.

Darcy rolled her eyes.

"I was working on that before little miss 'I'm perfect and everyone wants to date me' showed up. How the hell am I supposed to compete with her? I'm pretty sure that if she asked, _I _would date her! I just thought that maybe if Steve thought that I was unavailable, he might decide that he wanted me after all." She reasoned.

"I don't know why you're concerned with Steve and Tabby. She's definitely out to bone,"

Tony was interrupted by a dark glare from Bruce.

"…me." The billionaire finished lamely, avoiding everyone's eyes.

Pepper swatted him.

"Right. Well, call me crazy, but I'm not blowing her off on the off-chance that maybe she's secretly after you, Tony. What else can I possibly do? They're talking about her perfect dogs and, for Christ's sake - they rode off on a motorcycle together! They'll probably get married at a chapel on the way to the fondue place!" Darcy exclaimed in frustration.

"I think you're over-reacting, honey. Tabby never said that she wanted to date Steve and I'm sure that if you just told her that you have a crush on him, she would help you out. She's a nice girl, we all know that." Jane reminded Darcy softly.

Darcy rolled her eyes.

"I know. That's the frustrating part. I can't even hate her! It would be easier if I could just hate her."

"This isn't elementary school. Just tell Rodgers that you're interested. If he's interested, he'll let you know. If he isn't, you can work on finding a real boyfriend." Natasha suggested blandly.

Darcy stared at her for a moment before speaking.

"Yeah, no, that's not going to happen."

"Why not? What's the worst that could happen if you just walked up and said 'Steve, I think you're fantastic and I'd like to get coffee with you'?" Jane demanded.

"He could _hear _me!" Darcy answered.

"I think you might be overreacting." Bruce chuckled.

"I think you all are underreacting. Look, I know that it doesn't make sense to you guys – you're all attractive, rich, or just flat-out don't care – but I'm begging you not to tell Steve that Clark isn't real. Then he'll think that I'm more pathetic than he already does and he'll just fall even more in love with Tabby." Darcy pleaded.

Jane rolled her eyes.

"Fine, we won't tell Steve that Clark isn't real."

"I might." Tony interjected.

Pepper shut him up with a swift elbow to the shoulder.

"No one will." Bruce assured Darcy.

"You'd better not." Darcy sighed, glancing around at the group as the car pulled to a stop in the parking lot of the fondue restaurant.

Everyone laughed as they piled out of the car, coming face-to-face with Tabby and Steve, who were hopping off of the super soldier's motorcycle, along with Thor, who had leapt out of the back of the SUV.

"What's so funny?" Steve asked with a smile, following the group into the restaurant.

"Trust me. You will never know." Barton teased, patting Steve's shoulder as they approached the hostess.

"I would like to hear the joke as well." Thor commented, looking puzzled as he followed everyone.

"Oh, hello." The waitress said, staring at the group with wide eyes.

Tabby smiled sheepishly, sympathizing with the girl.

Meeting the Avengers was pretty intimidating.

"We made reservations for 'Johnson' at seven. We have ten people." Natasha announced, staring down the hostess, who cowered under her glare.

"Right, um, yeah, okay. We can only seat a maximum of four people at once." The hostess stated nervously, her eyes darting around the group.

Natasha scowled, glancing back at the group.

"Hey, that's already, babe. We can get a private table, and let these guys divide themselves into two groups of four. You know how you get when you spend too much time with these guys. It's probably for the best. Otherwise you'd probably kill Stark with a pot of boiling cheese and a long fork." Barton reminded her with a small smile, causing Natasha's scowl to fade slightly.

"You mean, like Budapest?" She questioned, her voice slightly hopeful.

Barton chuckled.

"I think you might be thinking of Vienna." He replied, following a waitress towards a table with Natasha, who sort of kind of looked like she might just be smiling.

"She has feelings other than hatred?" Tony asked, his mouth twitching into a smile as he observed the couple.

Bruce rolled his eyes.

"She only hates _you._ She's fairly nice to everyone else. She helped me find clothes when we had the security snafu in Liverpool." The scientist reminded his pal.

Tony snorted.

"I think she just wanted to get back to a time when you weren't naked."

"Now who would ever want that?" Tabby interjected with a devilish smirk.

Steve stared at her with furrowed eyebrows.

"Why don't we figure out the seating arrangements? Uh, Tabby, why don't we sit together with, uh…" Steve trailed off, eying his options carefully.

Tony and Pepper were completely out of the question – Pepper was great, but Tony was, well, he was Tony, and he would likely draw Tabby's attention to himself – Steve knew better than to even look in their direction.

Thor and Jane were much more pleasant, but Thor was still under the impression that Tabby was going to marry Loki. That likely wasn't a wise route for Steve to go if he was interested in talking to Tabby about anything other than her deranged ex-boyfriend.

That left Bruce and Darcy.

Wait – why had Darcy come, anyway? Did she follow Jane everywhere?

That wasn't very important.

Bruce was the real problem.

Tabby flirted with Bruce just as frequently as she flirted with Steve; something neither of the men liked to acknowledge. She also had more to discuss with him, since they had both been conscious and defrosted throughout the 21st century.

Every situation seemed to be lose-lose for poor Steve.

"Me and Bruce! I mean, no offense everyone, but I need a break from you two," Darcy interrupted, jabbing a playful finger at Jane and Thor, "and Steve and Tony, you guys aren't exactly making each other friendship bracelets."

Tabby glanced around at the group before shrugging.

"Yeah, sure, I don't mind sitting with the only two single Avengers. You should tell your boyfriend to watch out, Darcy. We might be getting ourselves into trouble by sitting with these two." She teased, nudging Darcy teasingly.

Darcy forced herself to smile before turning her strained smile to Jane.

"You know, that is a really good idea, Darce. I've been wanting to ask Pepper and Tony about their sustainable energy project, anyway." Jane said, smiling at Pepper, who smiled back automatically.

"Great, let's get seated, then." Pepper agreed.

"Official consulting hours are,"

Pepper elbowed Tony in the ribs, effectively silencing any complaints he had about the situation.

The four followed the hostess, with Jane and Pepper chatting politely, while Thor was staring at the slightly injured Tony curiously.

Steve turned to the remaining group; Bruce, Tabby and Darcy, and sighed.

"Shall we?" He questioned, gesturing towards the empty table near them.

"Let's do this." Tabby laughed, skipping over to the table and claiming a seat next to Steve, across from Bruce.

"So how was your ride over here? I don't think Steve's ever let someone on his motorcycle with him before." Bruce commented, smiling at Steve and Tabby.

Steve glanced at Tabby, his face reddening slightly.

"Well, I just know it can be a liability, but Tabby said that she knew about motorcycles…" He stammered, glancing around the table, gauging the need to justify himself further.

"Plus he just wanted the excuse to be closer to me. For a little while there, I thought he was going to skip out on fondue and just take me back to his apartment." Tabby teased, grinning at Steve playfully.

"I was just offering to let you see Louis and Marie." Steve reminded her desperately.

"Uh, hey, Bruce, I heard that you and Tony might be on the verge of finding out where the infinity stones are. What do you think Fury is going to do with them if you find them? Do you think they'll try to take advantage of them, like they did with the tesseract?" Darcy asked, attempting to change the subject to something she knew that Bruce and Steve would both be inclined to discuss.

After all, Steve had thrown a hissy fit when he found out that the tesseract had been a power source for potential weapons. He had insisted that S.H.I.E.L.D. allow Thor to take the stone back to Asgard, where no one would be able to make destructive weapons out of it.

Bruce had been just as angry with Fury over the 'stage two' weapons. He had nearly lost control and Hulked out over that alone. Granted, he _had _Hulked out a few minutes later, but that was primarily due to Barton blowing out one of the ship's engines.

Bruce raised his eyebrows at the subject change.

"Oh, well, I don't know if I'd say that we're on the _verge _of anything. We're just trying out a few tests that we think might work." He replied, not meeting anyone's eyes.

Bruce knew that there wasn't much of a chance that they would actually locate any of the stones. He and Tony only knew the properties of the tesseract and from what they learned from Thor, each stone had a very different, very individualized property set. Without knowing each property set, he and Tony were essentially fishing without a rod.

"I don't think that S.H.I.E.L.D. should get their hands on any more infinity stones. The world couldn't handle the tesseract. Bringing more stones into our realm would just cause more problems." Steve commented, his eyebrows furrowing.

"Can somebody tell me what these infinity stones are? Are they like, some kind of alien rock or something? If you found them, would Loki get to leave?" Tabby questioned, glancing around at her friend curiously.

Darcy's eyes narrowed as the men focused on Tabby once again.

She was never going to be able to get Steve's attention away from that girl.

Darcy couldn't really blame anyone for that; Tabby was charismatic to a weird degree – maybe she was a secret Clinton or something – and Steve was only human. Well, he was kind of super-human, but still, he wasn't immune to charming people, evidently.

"They're something like a power source. Each of them have their own individual use. The tesseract was used primarily as a weapon, both on our side and on Loki's side." Bruce explained softly with a small smile.

"Do you remember the Hydra weapons I pointed out to you in Tony's video game?" Steve added.

"Oh, that's what they are? Yikes. So you all think that Loki found a different one to bother Earth with?" Tabby asked, titling her head as she surveyed the men's reactions.

"We're not really sure what he's up to, yet. He's not telling us very much." Steve answered.

"Um, hey, the waitress is coming over. Do you guys know what kind of fondue we should get? I've never been to a place like this before." Darcy said, using the approaching waitress as an excuse to once again draw Steve's attention away from Tabby.

"Oh, uh, I'm not really sure. I've never really, uh, fondued, either." Steve responded, glancing around the table awkwardly.

"Me neither. Shit. I think we might be up a creek." Tabby giggled.

Bruce ended up saving the day by simply asking the waitress what she recommended and trusting the recommendation.

After about two hours of Tabby-centric conversations (something Darcy couldn't help but notice) and jokes at the other Avengers' expense, each and every member of the group was too full to continue eating.

"Ugh, Thor, please carry me to the car. I don't think that I could move if I tried." Tony groaned, leaning against Thor for support.

Thor laughed, clapping Tony on the back with a careless amount of strength.

"I too ate a copious amount this evening. Steve, are we still permitted to visit Louis and Marie this evening?" He questioned, turning his attention to Steve, who was standing next to Tabby looking nauseous.

"What? Oh, yeah, the dogs, yeah, sure." The super soldier stammered.

"Yay! It's puppy time! Are the rest of you coming?" Tabby asked, looking around the rest of the group excitedly.

"I want to go. Jane says that your dogs are just adorable. I've wanted a dog, but this one hates anything that just might be cuter than he is." Pepper said, nudging Tony, who groaned and tried to lean up against Barton, who quickly shrugged him off.

"I've heard that playing with dogs is soothing." Bruce allowed.

"I'm down if Tasha doesn't mind." Barton stated, sneaking a curious glance at Natasha, who shrugged noncommittally.

"I'm going." Darcy announced.

"Alright, it sounds like we're all hanging out at Steve's apartment and playing with my perfect dogs." Tabby clarified, grinning from ear to ear.

"Hey, wait, Tabby, do you think that I could talk to you for a second? I need your advice on something." Jane requested quietly, avoiding making eye contact with Darcy, who was staring her down with wide eyes.

"Absolutely." Tabby agreed with a smile.

The two walked over to the side of the parking lot, with Darcy watching their every move.

"I know this is really awkward, but I need to talk to you about Steve. Are you…interested in him?" Jane inquired quietly, her golden eyes searching Tabby's face cautiously.

Tabby raised her eyebrows in surprise.

She had expected this question at the sleepover party. A bunch of girls sitting in a room together was pretty much begging the whole boy talk.

This, however, was entirely different. This was Jane pulling her aside in the middle of a parking lot for no apparent reason asking about her feelings for Steve.

"What? I mean, no, but like, why?"

Jane blushed deeply, glancing back at the group.

"Darcy told me that she likes Steve. She's a little bit jealous of all of the attention you've been getting from him, so she made up a boyfriend to make Steve jealous. I don't really think that's working, and I know that she's too shy to say anything to either you or Steve, so I just wanted to see if there was any way that you could maybe help her out?"

Tabby bit her lip before grinning.

"Darcy likes _Steve_? Really? How did I not see that? I mean, yeah, of course, I'm obviously going to help now. I think they would be adorable together. Besides, I really think that Steve deserves someone special. It would definitely make going after Bruce easier."

"So you have a crush on Dr. Banner? Does he know?" Jane asked, starting to smile.

"I don't know. I'm still trying to sort through the whole Loki thing. That could take a while, and I don't want to drag Bruce into all that, especially if I'm not ready to move on yet."

Jane nodded, understanding the dilemma. After all, she had witnessed firsthand how difficult it was to deal with an Odinson boy leaving. It was tough.

"Um, while you're figuring all of the 'Loki' stuff out, can you do me two favors? One: help Darcy out a little bit. I would love it if she could have someone who will look out for her the way I know Steve would. Two: don't tell Thor about Bruce until you're one-hundred percent sure that's what you want. He's been so happy ever since he met you at Christmas. He thinks that you're the best thing to ever happen to Loki."

Tabby snuck a peek at Thor, who was laughing heartily at something Tony was doing, and smiled.

"I will gladly do them both. I love Darcy, and I think she and Steve would be just precious together. I also love Thor. Actually, maybe I'll just hold out for Loki so Thor can be my brother-in-law."

Jane smiled.

"I'm not sure that Loki would like hearing that very much, but I won't tell him if you don't. I'd love to have you as a sister-in-law."

"You'd have to marry Thor first." Tabby reminded her, laughing.

"Well, we were trying to keep it a secret until the whole Loki situation was over, but I think Thor would want you to know. We're engaged. He asked me last week."

Tabby's eyes widened.

"You're _engaged_? What? Why didn't you tell me earlier? I would be insulted, but I'm too excited! Please tell me that I can come to the wedding. Please tell me that the wedding is going to be on Earth, actually. Does anyone else know? Why did you have to tell me? Now I literally want nothing more than to jump up and down with everyone and talk about this." She gushed, not bothering to control the volume of her voice.

The entire group turned to look at Jane and Tabby with wide eyes, aside from Thor, who was grinning from ear to ear.

"Jane Foster, you have shared our happy news with Tabby Baker! I would be most pleased if you would attend the wedding." Thor boomed, looking absurdly happy as Tabby and Jane approached the group.

"You're engaged? What the hell?" Darcy demanded, looking baffled.

"I knew you two were going to be the first to get married out of everyone in S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Hill and I had a running bet going." Pepper laughed, pulling Jane into a hug.

Tony's eyebrows shot up.

"You had a bet running? I could have helped you win." He objected.

Everyone stopped fawning over Thor and Jane in order to stare at the billionaire in surprise.

"Oh, yeah, right. _You _would willingly propose to me in order to win a bet? I know you're really competitive, but come on. _You. Proposing. _I think I would have to see it to believe it." Pepper teased, rolling her eyes before turning to focus on Jane once more.

"Alright, consider this my proposal. Let's get married." Tony responded matter-of-factly.

Everyone turned to look at Tony with dropped jaws.

"Excuse me?" Pepper managed to choke out, unable to keep her usually unaffected air.

Tony shrugged.

"Marriage. Let's do this thing. Unless, of course, you're too chicken."

Pepper's eyes narrowed.

"I'm not _chicken_, I'm _logical_." She countered.

Tony smirked.

"What's illogical about marrying me? I'm rich, I was just on the cover of GQ, and you're always at Stark Towers anyway. Just say it. You're afraid to marry me. I intimidate you." He prodded, crossing his arms across his chest as Pepper glowered at him.

"You don't _intimidate _me. I would just prefer to have a more classical proposal instead of 'marry me unless you're too chicken'." She argued.

Tony made clucking noises.

Tabby and Bruce exchanged amused stares as the rest of the group stared at the debacle in disbelief.

Only Tony Stark would think that such a ridiculous proposal was acceptable.

"Tony, you're not going to bully me into marrying you. You're just embarrassing yourself." Pepper insisted desperately.

Tony persisted with the clucking noises.

Natasha rolled her eyes in disgust, but couldn't help watching the proceedings curiously.

No one could take their eyes off of the ridiculous scene that Tony was causing. Even customers walking to and from the fondue restaurant were standing a few feet away, watching the entire scene with wide eyes.

"You know what, fine. I'll marry you. Unless _you're _too chicken." Pepper snapped with a triumphant grin.

She knew how Tony operated. He loved to be outrageous. He thrived off of getting a rise out of people. He probably hadn't meant a thing by his 'proposal' (if you could really call it that). The best punishment she could dish out for this particular situation was accepting his proposal. The thought of marriage undoubtedly horrified him.

"Nope, not even in the slightest. Shall we proceed to the courthouse?" Tony countered, his smirk standing strong against Pepper's response.

Everyone's smiles immediately vanished.

Was this really going to happen?

"The _courthouse? _No. That's way too normal for you." Pepper refused.

Tony's eyebrows jumped up.

"Alright Potts, I'll bite. What do you have in mind?"

"I want Nick Fury to officiate the wedding."

Everyone's jaws dropped.

Even Tony was too surprised to say anything.

"So…back to planning Jane's wedding?" Tabby finally asked, breaking the silence with a small smile.

The rest of the group laughed, proceeding to get into the vehicles they had arrived to the restaurant in.

Tony was still objecting to Pepper's conditions, with Pepper countering each and every statement casually, occasionally joined by one of the other members of the group who decided to mediate the situation.

Tabby and Steve laughed as they approached the super soldier's motorcycle.

"I can't believe Tony would propose to Pepper in the middle of a parking lot. That's going to be a really weird story to tell their kids." Tabby giggled, accepting a helmet from Steve once they reached the bike.

"Tony Stark having children…not something I can really envision. Hopefully they'll take after Pepper." Steve responded with a grin, climbing onto his motorcycle and gesturing for Tabby to do the same.

"I don't know. Tony can have his moments. I don't think having little baby Tonys would be the worst thing in the world. They might be kind of adorable. You know, before they learn about sarcasm." Tabby objected, smiling at the departing SUV containing the rest of the Avengers thoughtfully.

Steve turned to look back at her in surprise.

Before she could say anything else about Tony, or his potential children, Steve revved the engine to the motorcycle and pressed down on the gas pedal, causing the machine to leap across the parking lot.

As he sped through down the streets leading to his apartment building, he tried not to let Tabby's comment bring him down without much luck.

She had been sticking up for Tony a _lot _recently.

His couldn't stop his mind from wandering to Tabby's possible feelings for Tony. She had gotten impaired with him in Stark Towers and had been sticking up for him ever since. She had laughed off his proposal to Pepper, as if it were something she wasn't taking seriously at all.

What if she was secretly seeing Tony?

Tabby was clearly too good to want to be with someone like Tony, of course, but she had just dealt with a difficult break-up. Everyone at S.H.I.E.L.D. knew how hard she had taken Loki's sudden departure. Bucky had once explained to Steve that after a difficult separation, people often had a 'rebound' period, where they made bad decisions and dated others who would later be deemed 'mistakes'.

Steve _really _didn't want to let Tabby make this mistake.

He couldn't _let _her make this mistake.

He stomped on the brake as he reached his apartment, causing Tabby's face to slam into his back.

"Ow, Steve, are you okay? You were kind of driving like a crazy person back there. Anxious to see the dogs?" Tabby teased as they both jumped off of the motorcycle.

Steve glanced at Tabby as they walked up the driveway, slightly distracted by the thoughts that were causing his heart to sink further and further.

"Oh, no, I'm sorry. I think this whole 'Loki' thing is sort of weighing everyone down. Let's not worry about that right now. It looks like everyone has already invited themselves into my apartment. Let's go play with Louis and Marie, shall we?" He responded, forcing himself to smile as he led Tabby into the apartment.

Tabby smiled at him momentarily before throwing herself onto the floor to play with her two favorite creatures in the entire world.

* * *

"Well, Tabby, I think I should probably take you back to your room, now. Director Fury only gave me clearance to have you out until midnight." Steve commented a few hours later, breaking up the game that the group had created with the dogs.

Tabby sighed, standing up and brushing the dog hair off of her pants.

"Wow, a curfew? It's almost like Cinderella. Or high school." She commented, starting to smile as she approached the super soldier.

"I'm sorry. I know this isn't perfect, but it's the best I could do, given the circumstances. Uh, I would invite the rest of you to stay, but I'm supposed to watch Tabby tonight." Steve muttered, staring at the ground to avoid eye contact with the rest of the members of the group.

"That's no problem, I'm sure the rest of us have other things we should be doing. Thanks for having us over, Steve." Bruce replied, offering the super soldier a small smile as he stood up and headed towards the door, where Steve and Tabby were standing.

Tabby caught Bruce's eye and smiled.

He smiled back before turning around and addressing Tony.

"Stark, you're being rude. We should at least try to do some lab work tonight. Let's get out of here."

Tony shook his head.

"I need to talk to Fury about a wedding."

The entire group laughed.

"Yeah, okay, let's go talk to Nick." Barton chuckled, guiding Tony towards the door.

"I'm sure he'll love this." Natasha said, following the group as they slowly shuffled out of the apartment.

Tabby giggled, starting to follow her friends, only to be stopped by Steve, who stepped in her way.

"Uh, Tabby, do you mind if I talk to you for a minute?" He asked, glancing at the ground sheepishly.

Tabby raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, sure, of course you can talk to me, Steve. What's running through that pure mind of yours?" She joked, smiling up at him.

Steve ran a hand through his hair nervously.

"Well, uh, I've really liked getting to know you over the past few weeks," he started, not meeting her eyes.

"I've really liked getting to know you, too. I totally can't wait to get back to school and brag to everyone that I know Captain America. They'll all be jealous." Tabby chirped, not seeming to get the gist of what Steve was trying to tell her.

The super soldier shut his eyes and exhaled.

This was going to be difficult.

"Oh, uh, well, thank you, but that's not exactly what I mean. I know this is inappropriate, and I could get into a lot of trouble with Director Fury, but lately I've been feeling…uh, well, I like you, Tabby, a lot. I wouldn't normally say anything, except that I've been getting the feeling that you might like me, too." He explained, swallowing hard as Tabby stared him over carefully.

Oh, boy.

Well, Tabby would be lying if she said that she hadn't seen this coming. Steve was a sweet guy, and sweet guys always took her light-hearted flirting the wrong way. She couldn't condemn him for that, naturally, but it did complicate matters a great deal.

For starters, now she had to think about Darcy. Tabby had promised Jane that she would try to help Darcy out with her crush on the super soldier. Getting asked out by said super soldier was probably not what Jane would consider 'help'.

More importantly, Tabby was pursuing Bruce, now. Bruce was already super hesitant to even consider dating her. Throwing Steve into the mix would only slow down, if not completely halt, the process.

"Steve," she started, unable to hold back an exasperated sigh.

Hearing the sigh, Steve's shoulders slumped.

He should have known better than to tell Tabby that he liked her. That was stupid. If anyone else at S.H.I.E.L.D. found out, he would undoubtedly get into a large amount of trouble with Director Fury, and would have to spend an unfortunate amount of time in the human resources department. Beyond that, he would now have to endure the awkward silences that seemed inevitable, now that the truth had been aired. How was he going to walk her back to her room and watch her for five hours now?

"Oh, sweetie, please don't give me that look. I really don't want to hurt your feelings. It's just that…I'm…um, well, I'm just not exactly you're average 'meet a nice guy and fall in love' kind of girl. I'm complicated, I'm nonsensical, and I'm completely, one-hundred percent idiotic for turning down a guy like you. Seriously, you're amazing, and I know for a fact that I could never deserve to have someone like you. I just think it's so much better if we try to stay friends, because I really love being your friend." She tried to explain desperately.

"It's alright. I shouldn't have expected anything to come of this. Uh, let's just get you back to your room." Steve replied, not meeting Tabby's eyes as he darted towards the door.

"Don't be mad at me. I would just die if you were mad at me. It's really got nothing to do with you, it's just that, um…" Tabby searched for an explanation that wouldn't hurt Steve's feelings, "well, Darcy has this huge crush on you, and I promised Jane that I would try to help her connect a little better with you. I don't want to be that girl who steals her friend's crush. Besides, I'm still dealing with Loki baggage. You should just ask Darcy to go on a date with you. I know that she would say yes."

Well, she had broken a pretty major rule of the girl code by telling Steve about her crush, but she couldn't help it. It was either that, or she would have to explain to Steve that she had the hots for Bruce, risk hurting his feelings, and cause tension within the group. Besides, she was telling Steve to ask Darcy out. That counted as helping, right?

"Darcy? She has a boyfriend." Steve argued, glancing at Tabby curiously as they walked down the street towards S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters, which was only a mile from Steve's apartment.

Tabby shook her head, rolling her eyes.

She couldn't tell Steve that Darcy made up a boyfriend to make him jealous. Boys didn't understand actions like that. Well, at least, Steve didn't.

"They, um, they broke up not so long ago. She's totally over it. Apparently it was like their relationship wasn't even real."

Steve sighed, opening the S.H.I.E.L.D. door for Tabby.

"I don't think so."

"Aw, come on, why not? You should at least give it a try. You might be surprised. She's really cool. And I know this is probably completely inappropriate, but if I were a guy, I'd definitely be down to hit that." Tabby replied, slightly joking as she nudged Steve's ribs playfully.

"You'd want to hit her?" Steve demanded, staring at Tabby in confusion.

"Oh, no, no, um, it means that I'd definitely want to have sex with her. It's just an expression."

"Ah." Steve muttered vaguely.

Tabby frowned, glancing at the super soldier as they walked through the hallways of S.H.I.E.L.D. She had obviously hurt his feelings.

"Steve, can you just be completely honest with me for a minute?" She asked, trying to catch Steve's eye without much luck.

Steve nodded, glancing down at her quickly before averting his eyes to the ground.

"Are we still friends? I know it sounds stupid, but it's just that, things like these have messed up so many of my friendships before and I really don't want to lose you. I do love you, just not in the way that you want me to."

Steve couldn't hold back a smile.

"Yes, we're still friends."

"Good. I don't think I could stand losing you." Tabby smiled.

"You don't have to worry about that. I'm not going anywhere." Steve assured her, not seeming to notice Tabby's sudden distraction.

They had entered the hallway that would force them to walk past Loki's cell.

Tabby tried not to glance at Loki as they passed, without much luck.

Ugh, he was reading his stupid textbooks again.

Since when had he cared what his professors thought was worth writing in their textbooks?

Swallowing hard, Tabby tried to turn her attention back to Steve, who had started talking about Bucky again.

When they finally reached Tabby's room, she immediately jumped onto her bed, burying her face in her pillow.

She just wanted the day to be over.

Darcy liked Steve, Steve liked Tabby; the whole thing was just a high school-esque mess. Bruce hadn't spoken to her very much at fondue, not that he really had the chance to talk, thanks to Steve, and she kept seeing stupid Loki every day, which was slowly, but surely, driving her bat shit crazy.

Quickly taking the hint that Tabby wanted to be alone, Steve made a lame excuse to leave the room.

Tabby sighed, finally removing her face from her pillow.

She would have to figure everything out at some point. She would have to tell Darcy that Steve just wasn't that into her, she would have to tell Steve that she was thinking about hooking up with Bruce, and she would have to tell Bruce that she wasn't entirely sure that her heart was ever going to let go of Loki.

"Well, that's a problem for tomorrow. I won't worry about it now." She assured herself, slipping under the numerous blankets she had thrown on top of her bed.

* * *

Steve's hands were crammed in his khakis as he walked down the hallway to check on Tabby.

He knew that he shouldn't have mentioned having romantic feelings for her. Loki had just been integrated into the building recently; of course she was going to have trouble with that. He should have told her either before Loki arrived, or he should have waited a grace period, to allow Tabby to become acclimated to the presence of her ex-boyfriend.

As his mind drifted back to the conversation he had shared with Tabby just hours before, a semi-important fact dawned on him.

She had said something about Darcy having a romantic interest in him.

He had only spoken to Darcy a handful of times since her arrival at S.H.I.E.L.D. headquarters. He could only remember two things that she had ever said to him off of the top of his head, and both of those things had been strictly related to S.H.I.E.L.D. business. They had never once shared a personal conversation.

No, Tabby made much more sense for him. He could share _anything _with Tabby. She knew more about him than anyone else in the 21st century. She nearly knew as much about him as Bucky had.

Steve didn't know too much about relationships, but he did know that the combination of physical attraction and friendship were a great foundation to a relationship. He had learned as much from the recent movies he had watched with his peers.

As he approached the glass wall, he exhaled heavily, preparing himself for the sight of Tabby.

It wasn't her fault that the relationship had ended before it had even begun.

It was Loki's fault, and Steve would make sure that the demi-god bastard would pay for it.

Steve focused on Tabby, who was curled up in a ball, and immediately felt his heart sink.

He recognized that face.

She was having yet another nightmare.

Without any thought, Steve threw the door to her room open, immediately approaching her bed, sitting down on the edge and resting a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Tabby, don't be afraid, everything is going to be okay." He muttered softly.

Tabby whispered something incomprehensible before grabbing hold of Steve's arm tightly.

"What's that?" He asked, unable to keep himself from smiling.

Unconscious Tabby wore her heart on her sleeve. She clearly liked him. She was holding his arm.

"Iuhnogi." Was the incoherent response he received from Tabby.

"You're going to have to give me a little bit more than that." He said with a small smile.

"_Nogi._" She persisted.

Steve just stared down at her curiously.

Tabby usually wasn't so persistent when she was having nightmares. She asked whoever was on Tabby-duty to stay with her until the nightmare subsided. Afterwards, she would fall asleep and forget the conversation ever happened.

"What's Nogi?" He finally asked.

Tabby buried her face in his arm.

"I want Loki." She whimpered.

Steve froze.

"Uh, Tabby, I can't…" He hesitated, his eyebrows furrowing as he tried to think of a kind way of telling her that there was no way he could reunite her with her ex-boyfriend.

"Please." She insisted, removing her face from Steve's arm in order to look at him with wide, tear-filled eyes.

Steve stared at her curiously.

"Are you awake?"

"Mhm. I want Loki. Please, Steve. I really need him."

"I don't think that I can do that."

"Please." Tabby begged, tears beginning to spill down her cheeks.

Steve squeezed his eyes shut trying to remind himself of all of the trouble that he could get into if he let Tabby see Loki.

"Steve." She whispered, causing his heart to skid to a stop.

As much as he hated himself for it, her word was his command.

He was going to take her to Loki.

He _had _to take her to Loki.

And if Loki made one wrong move, Steve would rip him to shreds and fill out the incident report with a smile on his face.

"Okay, come on, sweetheart, let's get you to Loki." He sighed, scooping Tabby up in his arms easily and carrying her out of the room.

"Thank you." Tabby whispered, smiling at Steve before resting her head against his chest, allowing him to carry her to Loki's cell.

* * *

Loki groaned as he slammed his head against one of the walls of his cell.

He had read through every single one of his textbooks. He had nothing else to occupy his time with. His mind no longer had anything to occupy itself. It was now vulnerable to relapsing and thinking about Tabby Baker.

With another loud thump, Loki slammed his head against the wall again.

He couldn't revert to thinking about Tabby again. It would be his undoing.

The sound of heavy footsteps interrupted his train of thought, much to his relief.

The relief quickly vanished when Steve Rodgers emerged, with Tabby Baker in his arms.

Loki jumped up quickly, eyeing the pair cautiously.

If Tabby was hurt, or…no, he couldn't think about a scenario worse than her being hurt, he would rip Steve Rodgers to shreds. He would find a way to discreetly murder the super soldier in the most painful way possible, making it look completely accidental. He would go to the ends of the universe to insure Steve Rodgers' end.

"Loki." Steve called, seemingly oblivious to the rage surging through Loki's body.

"Is she well?" Loki growled, his gaze trained on Tabby, who seemed to be breathing.

"She's fine. She had a nightmare and wanted to see you. I can't say I understand why, but you will comfort her, and you will not even think about uttering an unkind word in her presence." Steve threatened, his posture stiffening as he approached the door to Loki's cell.

As the door opened, Loki wordlessly accepted Tabby, who rolled easily from Steve's arms to Loki's.

Steve began to follow Loki to the corner of his cell, only to be given a dark look.

"You will keep your distance." Loki hissed.

"How do I know that you're not making some kind of plan?" Steve countered, folding his arms across his chest.

Tabby let out a loud sigh, resting her head on Loki's shoulder.

Loki glared at Steve.

"Is that how you picture villains plotting their attacks, Captain?"

Steve hesitated.

"I do not like to threaten. But, if you do not leave me immediately, I will inform all of your colleagues of this occasion. I'm assuming this is not a S.H.I.E.L.D. approved visit." Loki drawled, raising a single eyebrow at Steve, who immediately reddened.

"You have ten minutes." Steve informed him in a husky voice, sparing Loki one more glare before retreating out of the cell, towards the end of the hallway.

Loki stared down at Tabby, who was babbling nonsense quietly.

"Are you alright, my darling?" He asked quietly, wrapping his arms around Tabby tightly.

"I missed you." She sighed.

Loki nodded, unwilling to admit that he had missed her as well.

He would _never _admit that he had missed her.

"Now, what's this about a nightmare? Have the Avengers been unkind to you?" He questioned, his posture going rigid at the thought.

"No, no, no, I love them. I really do. I just love them wrong. Steve is going to leave me." She whined, beginning to cry once again.

"Leave you? Are you," Loki took a moment to calm himself down, "romantically involved with the Captain?"

"No, that's just the _problem. _Darcy loves Steve and Steve loves me and I just love people and I can't," sobs took over Tabby's statement.

"Shh, you're going to make yourself sick with all of this crying." Loki reminded her softly, stroking her hair gently, hoping to lull her back to sleep before she made an even greater emotional impact on him.

"I'm just so sorry." She wailed.

"There, there. Now, my darling, is not the time to be hysteric. You will be fine. You have never faced a challenge you could not defeat. I have the upmost confidence in you."

Tabby sniffled loudly.

"Do you really think so?"

"I do."

"You don't think that I'm just a silly girl?"

Loki smiled.

"You are an exceptional silly girl."

"I still love you." Tabby admitted, not meeting Loki's eyes.

Loki just chuckled.

"See? Most silly girls would know better. You are an exceptional silly girl."

They both laughed for a minute, before Steve showed up once more, gesturing towards his watch.

"I think I need to go back to bed."

"I have to ask, are you awake? You have been making a surprising amount of sense."

"Um. I'm not really sure. Maybe ask me after I collect all of the coins."

Loki smiled.

"I believe I have my answer."

"What answer?"

"Alright, sweet girl, let's give you back to Captain Rodgers, now." Loki sighed, lifting Tabby up and approaching the door to the cell, where Steve was waiting expectantly.

"Is everything okay?" Steve demanded, primarily looking to Tabby for an answer.

Unfortunately, Tabby had managed to drift off to sleep sometime during the exchange, leaving only Loki to answer Steve's question.

"She appears to be alive, does she not?"

Steve's eyes narrowed.

"If I find out that you did anything…"

"Aren't you already looking into another one of my recent 'scandals'?"

Steve gritted his teeth.

"Just…forget this ever happened. The less people that know, the better."

"I could not agree more with you, Captain."

Steve nodded before carrying Tabby away from the cell and towards her own room, leaving Loki locked up in his cell, with the rest of the night to mull over what had just happened.

Tabby Baker still cared for him.

How strange.

How tempting.

How terrifying.

Emitting a frustrated groan, Loki picked up one of his books, only to toss it across the cell a few seconds later.

Once again, Tabby had entered his very private world and rearranged everything at her leisure. The only difference was; Loki wasn't entirely sure that he would be able to clean up the mess and resume his life this time. Even worse, he wasn't sure that he _wanted _to.

Oh, no.

This incarceration was getting very out of hand very quickly.


End file.
